Queen Bee For A Reason
by suspensegirl
Summary: Blair reclaims her throne POST 2X05 -CB-SB-NS- Little to no 2x06ish spoilers.
1. Last Resort

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!!!!

*THIS FIC IS ABOUT POST 2X05 AND HOW BLAIR HAS LOST EVERYTHING, BUT BEFORE CB CAN REUNITE FINALLY, THERE IS A WAR TO BE DONE….S V. B

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**Ch.1-Last Resort**

"You know what, Chuck? I'm done! You've taken everything away from me yet again and somehow I've come crawling back to you, just as you predicted!" she paced back and forth in front of him.

He pursed his lips, trying hard not to smile at how ridiculously cute she was when upset.

"So here!" she said, stretching her arms out to him and closing her eyes, so she wouldn't have to see that predictable smirk on his face.

But even though she couldn't see it, didn't mean it wasn't there. People might've been looking on at this point, but since she had been dethroned _once again_ by the precious goddess of the school, Serena, hardly anyone was paying attention. "What about your Lord?" Chuck asked.

Blair opened her eyes and brought her hands back to fold across her chest. "Why do you care?" her eyebrows narrowed.

He scoffed. "I'm just having a hard time believing this is coming so easy to me."

"Easy?" she raised her eyebrows to him. "I wasn't exactly nice to you at our last conversation," she huffed, placing a hand on her hip, to which Chuck followed with his gaze. Blair tried to ignore the obviousness of the situation, but it was hard to ignore anything when heat was rising from her at a considerable rate.

Chuck cleared his throat. "Yeah, I know…."

She shook her head. "If you must know, Marcus was caught red handed…"

He held up his hand for an explanation.

"Making out hot and heavy with Mrs. Beaton herself."

His jaw dropped, and Blair looked away. "Yeah, apparently Nate wasn't her only subject of interest."

"Wa-wa-wait, Nate?" he asked confused.

She looked at him utterly disturbed and majorly confused. "Yeah, don't you guys talk anymore?"

He sighed and crossed his arms. "Apparently not."

"Anyways, it seems that I only have an eye for the cheating type and though one may say you've cheated on me since you were sleeping around _all _summer, you never technically cheated on me when we were officially dating—"

"—which wasn't that long," he finished.

"Exactly." There was a moment of silence between them. "Look, the last thing I want is for you to be right and I certainly don't want to give up what power I have left, which isn't very much. But there really isn't anything else that you can take from me and I don't want to be alone…so…"

He raised his eyebrows. "I think I get it Waldorf."

She pursed her lips, trying to assume herself as pleased, though she felt anything but. "It's not enough?"

"Afraid not," he said, sighing. He brushed a hand through his hair, tousling his long forgotten bangs to the center of his face.

"Wasn't this your plan though?" she asked.

"It was," he said.

"But not like this? Somehow? I don't understand," she muttered, looking at the ground.

"Yeah…" a few moments passed between them, when finally she sighed aggravatingly.

"Well, I think I get that you don't want me to choose you as my last resort, but you knew that would be the case if you ripped everything away from me, so I don't understand why you should deny me now."

He snickered.

"Besides, you would've never been my last resort if you had come with me originally or if you had squeezed out those three words at the White Party," she said quietly.

Now he was looking at her quite intently. "I love you, Chuck."

His eyes widened and inside she was freaking out. Had she actually said those three words to the notorious womanizer of the UES? The one guy that seemed unable to say them back to her? The one who as capable as he was of loving her could triple the emotion into making her world fall apart? What she also noticed was she had reached forward and was holding his hand in her own and for all the raging emotions filling her system, she could not separate herself from his gaze. "I'm sorry…" she uttered, barely a whisper.

He wanted to shake his head 'no' but he couldn't bring himself to move. She finally pulled away. "I really shouldn't have said that," she said turning away from him and slowly walking in the opposite direction. He watched her as she began to run and noticed as tears flew down her beautiful face. He had to do something. _Anything_. But he couldn't move.

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"What did you do to her?!" he heard Serena yell, as she smacked him across the arm.

He turned to her slowly. "What do you care?"

Serena's minions glared at him as he turned and walked away, but Serena could no longer feel hurt. She had learned to stand up for herself and not even Chuck Bass himself was going to change that. Perhaps she had taken power away from Blair, but she needed it if she was ever going to get over Dan. She shook her head, and nodded in the opposite directions for her followers to come along, which they did without hesitation.

Chuck was going to fix what he had done to Blair, and as amazing as he was with scheming, it was nothing in comparison to what he could achieve with the one so clearly made for him. He texted Blair and surprisingly she came out from around the corner before he had even clicked sent. "What do you have planned?" she nodded her head at him.

He smiled wildly. Perhaps he wasn't last resort after all.

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A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!


	2. Unexpected

A/N: *I OWN NOTHING!!!!!! Believe me, if I owned Chuck or Blair, he would've gotten her back w/o having to sacrifice her right as queen.

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**Ch.2—Unexpected**

Blair pulled him down by the edge of his collar. "Let me make one thing clear, we are not friends, we are not anything, you are just helping me to rise to queen again because you pulled me down to begin with."

His smirk spread slightly across his face. "But you l—"

"No," she put a hand over his mouth, "don't even think it. It was a mistake for me to even open my mouth on that subject."

Chuck's eyebrows furrowed, but he nodded and then quickly recovered his vulnerability with his trademark grin. She rolled her eyes and walked away, stopping when he didn't follow her. "Aren't you coming?" she demanded.

He sighed. "yes, of course," he said, trailing behind her, attempting to grab her hand, but she snatched it away and gave him a warning glance.

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"What's going on with those two?" Penelope asked Serena inquisitively.

Serena shrugged. "I don't know anything anymore. Good riddens as far as I'm concerned."

All of her minions raised their eyebrows to this. "Are we shunning her then?"

Serena was about to speak, but she held her tongue. "I have to go to class," she walked off and the girls watched her leave. Just then, Jenny walked up behind them. They all rolled their eyes and departed at her presence. "I was just going to offer a suggestion!" she called out. They all stayed turned away from her, but Hazel turned to her. "What could you possibly have to say that we would actually want to listen to?"

Jenny sighed hesitatingly. "Just because you all hate me now doesn't mean you didn't worship me once," she said with dignified elegance.

Penelope scoffed. "We follow popularity, of which you are no longer apart of, so consider yourself no longer worth our time," she sneered at her, turning away.

"Too bad," Jenny said, sitting slowly on the steps she was standing on. "Nate and I have gotten pretty close," she smirked.

Most of the girls didn't want to believe her, but the sudden mention of that gorgeous Archibald and they were hooked. They all circled around her. "Serena could have Nate in a second if she wanted him. She has a much better chance than you ever could," Is defended.

Jenny smiled wildly. "That may be so, but if that's the reason than why is he suddenly hanging around me all the time? I guarantee you as much as she appears to hate him right now, Serena is only interested in one guy, and that guy is my brother!" she said.

They all scoffed at her, not willing to believe.

"You laugh at me now, but I guarantee you if he apologized and took back all his harsh words and assumptions, she'd soften in a second…and your mean-hearted Queen S will no longer be ruling this Upper East Side." She smirked wildly, grabbed her things and walked off. "Later, ladies."

They all turned to watch her leave, glaring and then heading off to their own classes. As much as they wanted to push Little J's words out of their head, they couldn't. It was only when Queen S came to gather them up after school that they could change their thought patterns. Serena had an evil glint in her eyes. "My place, ladies?"

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Meanwhile, Chuck was sitting on Blair's bed, stroking her leg softly, to which she snapped away every few seconds when she became aware of it. "Truly Chuck, you're really NOT doing well with the rules I set up."

"Forgive my lapse of judgment," his eyes danced, just looking at her. But she tried to push it out of her head.

"You still haven't told me your ideas. How do I even know this isn't just a trick to get me back in your pants?" she sneered.

"Ha, please, what makes you think—"

Blair raised her eyebrows at this.

He gulped. "Serena told you?"

"Before she completely abandoned me, yes," she said, flipping the next page over in her journal.

"It's not what you think," he said, getting up to pace across the room.

"Well, I know it's not what you think," she said, getting up to join him at the window. He turned to her, slightly confused. "I don't trust you, Chuck." He sighed. "The only reason I have agreed to this is because you are completely devious and the best schemer next to myself," he smirked listening to her. She took a breath confidently. "I'd rather be with you than against you." He looked to her, surprised. But she shook her head, quite aware of his thoughts. "In taking back what is right fully mine. I have no intention to get back together with you." She turned and sat back down on her bed. His face fell, perhaps his plan had not worked as well as he had figured it to.

Just then, both of their phones rang.

**Hello Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here, it seems our dethroned Queen B has not taken to her position lightly. Sucking up to C again are we? Well well, some crushes die hard, I guess. And as you can imagine, C was only too eager to help our former Queen out. Meanwhile it looks like Little J is cozying up to yours truly, Nate Archibald. Do I sense a romance in the making? Or does N just know how to get around? I'll be here just waiting for the answers. **

**XOXO Gossip Girl.**

Blair snapped her phone shut, as Chuck still lingered on the message. "Ugh, she makes me sick."

Chuck nodded and slid his phone in his pocket. "Well, I guess I should get going," he said, heading towards the door. But Blair slammed the door in his face before he could get through.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked, angrily.

He smiled wildly. "We haven't really gotten much done and unless you have something else in mind," he whispered slowly into her ear.

She pushed him away. "Ugh, no."

He nodded knowingly. "Then I—"

"No," she said, "But I thought you were going to give me some ideas!"

He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

She rolled her eyes. "To get my throne back, hello?" she smacked his forehead.

He rubbed his forehead roughly. "Believe me, just me leaving your penthouse will give gossip girl more than enough spoilers to get Serena boiled to the brim." He opened the door to leave.

"How? She doesn't—"Blair was cut off.

"She may look like she's stopped caring, but you guys are best—were best friends, and if she thinks you and I are going out again the second you've been dethroned, she's going to feel awful, feel like you went to desperate measures, because you had nowhere else to go."

Blair folded her arms. "How is this not the truth?" she huffed.

He gave her a huge smirk, as he walked out the door. "Well, we haven't slept together _yet_," he winked and she pushed him out the door, slamming it behind him.

When she was sure he was gone, she sat back down on her bed and pulled out her journal, though it was filled with anything but ideas for revenge against Serena. Quite the contrary actually: hearts, and inside them? _CHUCK AND BLAIR FOREVER._

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She heard someone open the door downstairs, but no one spoke. She continued her doodling and was completely unaware when her bedroom door creaked open.

"Blair."

She looked up, dropping her journal and half a second later, jolting back to reality and stuffing it under your pillow. Finally her eyebrows furrowed and she gathered her legs in her arms. "What do you want?"

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A/N: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!! =DDDDDDDDDD


	3. Underestimated

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!!! Sorry it took me so long to update. Hope you love it! =D

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**Ch.3-Underestimated**

She raised her eyebrows to his silence and let her legs relax against the warm comforter on her bed.

"It's not what you think," he said, walking towards her.

"And what could I possibly be thinking? Since you know me _so_ well," there was anger in her voice.

He sighed. "Blair I—"

"What? What?! What could you possibly have to say to me?"

Now, it was his turn to be confused. Sure they weren't best friends, but after the last little conflict with Vanessa, he had thought Blair was on his side. "Is something wrong, Blair?" he hesitated, looking around her room, which seemed to be in perfect order. "Something I don't know about?" he paced inquisitively around the room, looking for some sort of clue to her madness.

Blair scoffed. "No, why would anything be wrong when my throne was just completely stolen away from me by my best friend, or _ex_ best friend more likely," she pouted, diving her head into her pillow. Then, it sprang up instantaneously as a thought came to her, and she jumped over to where Nate was standing. "You still haven't told me why you're here!" she poked his chest, forcefully.

He smirked and let out a chuckle, finally finding something worth talking about. He bent down and picked by its tassels a long plaid scarf that seemed to have gotten stuck under Blair's bed. Her mouth hung open and Nate's grin widened as he directed his gaze to her, trying hard not to laugh.

Just then, Blair's bedroom door flung open and in walked to troublemaker himself. "Waldorf, I seemed to have misplaced my sc—" his mouth caught in his throat as he saw Blair and Nate standing together, scarf in Nate's hand, terrified, surprised look in Blair's…like maybe he had found something she did not want him to find. "My scarf," he finished, pausing to shut the door and cross his arms.

The two of them were still frozen, not knowing what to do. It shouldn't have been an awkward situation, but it was….awkward, so terribly awkward. Chuck couldn't help but slip into his unbelievably familiar grin.

"I thought you two weren't back together," Nate began.

"We weren't. We're not!" she nearly shouted, shaking her head like if she did hard enough or fast enough maybe the situation would disappear on its own. It didn't happen, so she stopped.

"Well then?" Nate asked, still confused. He was always confused. It just seemed inevitable with him.

"Nothing!" Blair glared at him, practically screaming at his stupidity, and she held back from smacking him across the face. She would like to think that the hitting ritual should belong to Chuck Bass and Chuck Bass alone, at least when it came to her. "Ugh!" she snatched the scarf from his hands, which had now gone numb, and stomped over to Chuck throwing the thing in his face. "Go now, leave! You got what you wanted," she said, widening her eyes for effect and to show how serious she really was about the situation.

Chuck's face remained still. "Gladly," he let out and then turned to leave. Blair pushed him out, so she could slam the door and when she was sure he was gone, she heaved a huge sigh of relief and walked very pristinely over to Nate, placing a stray lock behind her ear as she went to sit on the edge of her bed.

"Now Nate," she said, folding her hands and laying them on her crossed knees. "What do you want?"

Nate just shook his head, entirely too stressed by the situation. "I should go," he said. He got up to leave and turned back to look at her, entirely annoyed upon her bed gazing at her fingernails and discovering seemingly new imperfections. "Yeah, I should just go…"

She scoffed and muttered under her breath. "Fine by me…"

The door shut behind him as he made his way out, entirely too confused for his own Archibald rights. At the moment of his departure, Blair crawled back onto the opposite side of her bed and pulled out her journal again, fully enjoying the pleasure she got by filling in Chuck's name in bubble letters. It gave her goose bumps just thinking of the crude remarks he would utter at seeing her in this particular situations.

"I just have one question," Nate said, busting through her door again.

"Oh my god! Can a girl _not_ have her privacy?!" she asked, most likely to herself and she forcefully shut her notebook and slid it back under her pillow.

Nate looked at the pillow, more so at the journal which she had tucked away and was instantly curious, but decided not to intrude. And he had already exhaled enough from the last outrageous comment from her. "I'm sorry," he prefaced, "I just have to know why you're mad at me."

Her eyes narrowed. He really was clueless, and this time he was not getting away with it. She stood up angrily and started walking towards him slowly, evil written in her eyes.

"You want to know why I'm mad at you?" she began. He gulped. It definitely was not the best idea for him to come back and discover the answers to the questions he couldn't seem to get rid of, at the very least he could've asked Chuck what they were, goodness knows he would've been aware of it. "I'm mad at you, because when I was helping you with your _stupid_ financial situation with your _stupid _wannabe girlfriend from _stupid_ Brooklyn, Serena was taking over the throne of _Queen_ at school and now what I have worked _so_ hard to get has been stripped away from me by that Chuck basstard himself in an effort to get _me_ back, I'm guessing? Well, I don't even want to think about it and the only, let me remind you, the _only_ reason he was here at all was to help me get back what was stolen from me, I _hate_ that boy with a _passion_!"

Nate could not help but smile at the last mentioning, and regretted instantly what slipped out of his mouth afterwards. "Passion, eh?"

She had turned away for a moment and had resisted the poking of his chest which she had enforced with each emphasized word previous, but now she turned back to him and glared furiously. She couldn't even form the words to speak on how angry she was. She just exhaled…and ANGRILY at that. Nate got the message. He held up his hand, and now being backed up against the wall by his ex-girlfriend, took the opportunity to open the door and slip out, but she stopped him by slamming the door on his arm till he had pulled it back inside. "Ow! What the heck, Blair?" he asked, rubbing his arm pathetically. She did not turn her face away from him though; he needed to understand that she was not to be underestimated. "I have to get home!" he said, trying to turn the doorknob and finding it virtually impossible.

"I am not a stop along the way, I am a destination," she said, turning to sit on the edge of her bed. He straightened his shirt as she stepped away from him, quite relieved by the space now between them. "So, tell me, why did you come? What do you want?" she said it ever so calmly, Nate could hardly believe this was the same girl about to murder him mentally with those devil eyes only moments earlier.

He sighed and walked a little closer to her, but only a little. The fake smile plastered on her face was a little too much for Nate to handle looking at for more than half a minute. "I just wanted to thank you for what you did for me, what you tried to do for me, and I was going to offer any services you might need to repay the favor." He hardly said any of it while looking at her, and by the time he did, he could see how awful she felt about everything that had just taken place. She brought her hands up to her face in a realization of stress, of too much stress taken over her and she mumbled through her hands "anytime Archibald", and she just stayed that way for awhile.

Nate took that as his signal and turned to leave, walking normally so maybe this time she wouldn't stop him, but the door was still locked. He could hear her sigh behind him, and wished he really had a secret way to get out of this bedroom, no doubt Chuck probably did. He smirked at the thought, he really needed those two to get together, maybe this revenge against Serena would be just the thing, though he didn't want them to go hurting Serena, who, he thought, probably had no intention of taking what Blair seemed to cling to so dearly. He sighed. Well, at least Serena didn't sleep with Chuck, that would really get Blair in a mood…I mean, it wasn't like he hadn't caught sight of those journal pages when she flipped them away from his sight on entering. He shook his head and then felt the forward motion of Blair pushing him out of her room. Clearly, she had unlocked the door in the midst of him contemplating the events at hand. Once he was quite aware of his situation again, he grabbed hold of the handrail and floated down the stairs. He had spent too much time in this place already.

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Jenny sighed, grabbing her books out of her locker to head home. She had been serious when she told her Dad that she was quitting school, but the power she felt oozing out of her when she threatened the popular girls just outside on the steps made her want to reconsider. High school is no doubt a very important step to take in life. It just wasn't one she felt she wanted to take anymore. She was doing wonders for the fashion industry, but would they take her seriously anymore if she no longer considered school a priority. She shook her head. Anyone with half a brain would not be considering popularity a reason to stay in school, but it would make her father proud and she definitely hated disappointing him time and time again. She shut her locker and headed out of the empty halls. She was always the last one out these days it seemed. Although 'these days' had been reduced to 'this day' since she hadn't been in school for the last two weeks and it seemed now that this day was more significant than any she had ever experienced. She paused outside the administrator's office. She could beg her way back into school, be put on probation, grounded by her father, restricted in so many ways she wouldn't even be able to count them all. Was it worth it though? I mean, in the end when she looked back on her accomplishments…was it worth it? Or was it a waste of time?

"Jenny?" she heard a familiar voice call her name. It was Serena.

"Oh….hi," she muttered. She didn't even know how to feel about this girl that had seriously trashed her brother's life and was now taking the spot of Blair? Jenny knew better than anyone (that is, besides Blair) how much you had to fight to win the popularity amongst classmates here and Serena wouldn't even be able to attempt to understand. There was so much to go against with this girl, but she _was_ the most popular now and she _did_ always act so kindly to Jenny.

"Have a lot of homework tonight?" Serena continued, interrupting Jenny's thoughts. Jenny brought her books closer to her, contemplating what she should say. She could be Blair's friend again, she could help her. She could also join up with Serena again. Blair's road would be long and hard, but it would probably be worth it. Serena was a sweet girl, but she was not herself. This girl standing in front of her was not the Serena her brother had fallen in love with…

"Uh…" was all she could make out.

"You know, me and some of the girls are going out for drinks tonight, want to come?" she eyed her down.

This is when she felt truly disgusted. Serena didn't eye girls down, Serena was sweet and compassionate and she had enough effortless glow as it was. And as far as Jenny was concerned, she was going down. "Actually, I have to talk to the administrator real quick and then I'm going to be booked with homework all night," she forced a smile.

Serena looked a little disappointed, but Jenny couldn't be fooled. If anything this _new Serena_ would've used her against her brother and that was the last thing she was going to allow. She turned away and headed into the office, taking in a deep breath before entering. The administrator looked up at her, wide eyed and slowly folded her hands together, letting them sit solidly in the middle of her desk.

"Let me start by apologizing…"

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A/N: PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!!! =D


	4. Faulty Evidence

A/N: Hey all! Sorry this has taken me so long to update….but I plan on updating my stories a lot quicker now, so hopefully you'll all keep up! ;p

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**Ch.4—Faulty Evidence**

Chuck stopped right outside the Waldorf residence and waited for his limo to arrive. He had expected the meeting with Blair to last longer, but apparently she hadn't needed him for that much. Come to think of it, it was he, who had excused himself early with the insistence that he walking out of the penthouse would cause enough stirring on Gossip Girl's part. However, his phone did not ring, did not vibrate and the only thing keeping him from becoming chilled to the bone was thinking of Blair alone in her room.

"Dang it!" he muttered. He turned his head and noticed Nate walking out of the doors he had just recently come out of. Nate looked at him, shook his head and walked away.

Chuck laughed despite himself. Nate could never handle Blair, even when they weren't together. He looked up to her room, couldn't really see her since she was on like the 100th floor, but he could imagine her…and it killed him to know he couldn't have her, couldn't hold her. He knew she still cared for him, to an extent at least, or she wouldn't have required his services in getting back at Serena.

He sighed. The limo pulled up and he was about to get in when he realized something. People must have seen both Nate and him coming out of the Waldorf residence. And everyone knew that Blair and Nate were completely over…as over as over can get. They would assume no such scandal if they both came out. Would it seem….innocent? He shrugged, puzzled with his own predicament. Then again, Gossip Girl _could_ make a scandal out of anything. But then why had his phone remained silent?

He pulled it out again. Checked it. No messages. _None_. No notifications from Gossip Girl for at least the last couple hours. His brow furrowed. Maybe his plan wasn't as full proof as he thought. A smirk appeared on his face, erasing the confused, near upset look that had been there just before. He texted Blair.

He waited….and waited….and waited some more. She never replied. It was then that he heard a quiet giggling from behind him; he spun around to see the smirking Waldorf looking up at him.

"Let me guess, your plan isn't as fool proof as you thought?" she smiled wildly at him, trying to act disappointed but failing miserably.

He said nothing, but walked towards her slowly. His eyes captured her and she was lost in his gaze. "Chuck," she whispered, when he was mere inches from her lips.

He breathed into her, allowing his oxygen to fill her soul. Her eyes fluttered shut. Then, he kissed her.

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Normally he would begin with his hands on her waist and travel up or down accordingly, but he found himself so enraptured with her very being that he intertwined his fingers within her luscious hair first, and found himself moaning causing an equal reaction from her. The kiss grew in intensity as she pulled him into her, gasping for air while she pushed her lips harder into him. Chuck, though, completely absorbed in kissing Blair, heard some cameras going off in the distance. He stepped back slowly, pulling Blair with him, and opened the door of the limo as they stumbled aside. The door shut.

Once inside, very reluctantly, Chuck pulled away and made as much distance between the two of them as possible. He smiled at himself, exhaling, as the limo began to drive away. The windows were tinted, but he could tell at least half a dozen cameras were going off.

After a moment of silence, Blair scoffed. He turned to her.

"What?" he asked, with a silly smirk.

"You have got to be kidding me," she exclaimed, quite annoyed with him.

He looked at her confused. "What? Plan A didn't work, and quite obviously Plan B did …this was just for your scheme to get back on top again, remember?" he said, poking her nose lightly.

She scrunched up her face at his comment. "You are unbelievable," she muttered, turning away from him.

"So, I've been told…" he said, overconfidently gazing at her.

She finally turned back to him, unable to stop herself any longer. She closed the gap between them and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. Within moments he pulled away though.

"What are you doing, Blair?"

She sighed. "You are ridiculous. Did you really think you could just turn me on and then I'd sit calmly next to you in a _limo_?! Of all places!" She huffed.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. She leaned forward and kissed him again, he did not resist, but took her in fiercely.

"You've got to finish what you started…" she smiled into him, in between kisses. Then, there was silence. And it was only them. It was in the moment. And it would probably be regretted the next day by both of them, though probably just by Blair, but he didn't care. He had her now and if he could win her over by a little PDA in regards to their manipulation, then maybe his task wouldn't be too hard after all.

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Jenny opened the front door to the loft to have Dan, Rufus and Vanessa sitting calmly on the couch, all looking directly at her and all looking for an explanation. At first, Jenny just tried to walk past them but they all cleared their throats at her attempt to get to her room, so she stopped and turned to look at them. The same expression was spread across their faces… 'What the heck happened?!'.

"Hey guys," she said, nervously leaning against the counter.

They all nodded at her, waiting for something else to be said.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" she asked, after a long pause between the four of them.

"I don't know," Vanessa said, standing up. "Maybe because I was willing to come over here every day and home school you, since you were so determined to be in fashion," she muttered, heading over to the fridge and opening it.

Jenny's shoulders slumped.

"Or maybe," Dan said, heading in Vanessa's direction, "because you lied to me every day for the past week when you were telling me about your classes….you never even told me you were skipping class."

"With good reason!" she spun around, facing him. "If I had told you about it, you would've gone all judgmental on me and told—"

"Me," she was cut off by Rufus, who finally stood up and walked over to his daughter, firmly placing his hands on her upper arms. Then, he eased into a tenderer grasp. He sighed. She searched his eyes trying to figure out what was going on. "I don't know what got into you Jenny," he said. Her head fell. "I know how much you wanted to be in fashion, and how persistent you were to keep that as your goal…" she nodded along, listening to his every word, still unsure of what she was in trouble for all together. "But," she looked up at him. "I'm glad that your final decision is to stay in school."

Her eyes sparkled. He knew.

"I just got a call from the Headmistress at your school," he said, joining Vanessa and Dan at the fridge, and reaching in for an apple. "She told me that you came in, apologized and asked, with the most diligence she'd ever seen in a student, if you could still attend school there."

Jenny slinked down into a nearby chair.

Vanessa came around to her, sliding her arms around Jenny's waist. "I would've been willing to help you, just so you know," she said hugging her from behind.

Jenny looked up and smiled. "I know, thanks."

"What changed your mind?" Dan asked, soda in hand. "I mean, I really feel like I'm the LAST one to know about this," he glared at Vanessa and Rufus, who simply looked away.

Jenny sighed. "I…I don't know, I guess I just kept hearing Dad's words in my head, about how important this 'school' thing is," she chuckled at the end.

Dan wasn't buying it and neither was Vanessa really, but Rufus just smiled at her, and so the two said nothing.

"I'm glad to hear it," Rufus said.

Jenny smirked at this. "Well, I'm gonna go get started on that homework then," she said, patting the big heap of books in her arms. She stood up and headed towards her room, closing the door behind her.

Vanessa shook her head. "Well, I'm heading out then, Humphreys," she said heading towards the door, and the two men waved her off.

Dan said nothing, but simply walked away, heading for Jenny's room.

"So Dan, I was wondering how you and Serena were do—" Rufus stopped himself, aware that Dan had left. "—how you were doing…" he muttered to himself, taking out the ingredients for dinner.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Hey Jen," Dan said, knocking lightly on her wall.

Jenny's head flipped up from her laptop. "Dan?!" she closed her computer down instantly. "What are you doing here?"

He looked at her questioningly. "Uh….I'm your brother, and I wanted to say…hi?"

She sighed, realizing her stupidity. He sat down next to her on her bed, and she slid the laptop further away. He watched her as she did that.

"What are you working on?" he asked, suspiciously, never taking his eyes away from the closed computer.

"Uh…." She moved her school books and papers around rapidly. "You know, just everything…since I haven't been in school for awhile," she cleared her throat.

"Yeah, about that…." He began.

"Don't _you_ have homework to work on, Dan?" she asked, staring him down with those big, wide eyes of hers.

He chuckled. "Not two weeks' worth!"

She sighed.

"What happened to you Jen? I mean, I know it's been difficult with the girls from school, and I knew you liked fashion, but seriously? Quitting school?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why does it even matter anymore? I'm back in school, aren't I?"

Dan sighed, completely unsatisfied, but it looked like he wasn't going to get much more of an answer from her. He stood up. "You're right. I just…okay, Jen….I'm going."

She looked up at him as he left, feeling a little guilty for not being as honest as he'd wanted her to be, but if he knew about her plot to take down Serena, there was no way he'd let her go through with it. He may have broken up with her, and Serena may be treating him like crap, but he was still in love with her and Jenny Humphrey's brother did NOT deserve to be treated like this, neither did Blair Waldorf. As much as Jenny wanted to think she didn't like Blair, she knew it wasn't true…for her or Serena.

She flipped open her laptop again. Last time she had sought out revenge, it had not ended so well for her. But this time it would be different. Maybe she should involve more people. Eric was obviously out of the question, as well as Chuck….Chuck, she stopped to think about it. A smile spread across her lips. She opened up Microsoft Word and began typing rapidly, almost laughing as she put down her devilish ideas.

_Serena was dead meat._

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! Sorry it's taken me soooooo long to update. I had the first section typed up for almost the whole week, but it took me awhile to get me motivated for Jenny, since I'm such a CB obsessee. ;p


	5. Something New, Something Strange

A/N: Wow. I am finally updating this fic. It's been like…decades. XD No, I know…I already wrote this chapter, BUT as I was reading through it, I realized there were some things that kinda contradicted what happened earlier on in the story, so I'm just changing a few things, and then I'll be heading on over to chapter 6 ASAP! =D When I look at how I wrote now…and how I wrote the first 4 chapter…*groans* it makes me sick, almost like I wish I could just re-write the WHOLE story, but NO! I will _not_ give in, I will _resist_ the temptation, but mostly just b/c I have a million ideas and I can't backtrack on _all_ the fics I started forever ago. XD

R & R please! =D

*I own nothing. *sighs* Don't remind me.

……………..

**Ch.5—Something New, Something Strange**

She had fallen asleep on top of him. After their heated passionate activity, she had fallen asleep. ON. TOP. OF. HIM! Not that he could blame her….it was exhausting, he nearly fell asleep himself! He smirked, and cursed silently to the driver when Blair shivered over him. _Didn't Arthur know Blair's specific temperature preferences?! Honestly. _

But since he always came prepared with a suit jacket, that of which had been discarded at least an hour prior, he dipped down slowly and draped it over her chilled form. She settled into him deeper then, and he found himself completely content. Of course, it did not look like the most comfortable position with his head caught in between the headrest and the window frame, but as he look down on his own sleeping beauty, he had not a care in the world. For this solitary moment, she was his.

They had driven all across Manhattan at least a dozen times, and though Chuck Bass usually didn't care what his driver might have thought about the current transportation process, he slightly wondered if _he_ even knew what their destination would be. At first, he thought to just take Blair back to her penthouse, but that was two cuddle sessions and three sex rounds ago, and he surely could not stop in the middle of all of that. Okay, so they weren't really cuddle sessions, since they weren't actually a couple. But they were lingering moments where he would just stare at her and watch her sleep.

_What were they doing really?_

I mean, his whole plan for dethroning Blair and throning Serena was so Blair would ask for his help and that through him helping her regain her throne, she would realize she still had feelings for him and forgive him._ Surely, she did not STILL need to hear those three little words. _He paused for a moment, just looking at her_. _The thought unnerved him a little. _Why __**had**__ she given into him after such brief PDA— simply to regain her throne? Was this all so she could get him again? Was it her that was too prideful to give in?_ His brain wracked with too many questions, and for now all he wanted to do was watch her sleep and hope when she finally woke, she wouldn't be absolutely furious.

It occurred to him that she had actually started the whole love making process, but he knew she would insist otherwise, so it was pointless to use that as a defense.

_Sigh_.

Unfortunately for him, and perhaps both of them, time waits for no one. He felt her shifting in his arms and before he knew it her eyes had opened and she was peering straight at him. He waited for it. The slap. The yell. The scream. The distance spacer. The TYPICAL. BLAIR. RESPONSE.

But he didn't get any of that. He was smiling genuinely down at her, and that seemed to do the trick, surprisingly. She blinked, maybe a few more times than usual, but he kept quiet. He didn't want to ruin this…this wonderful moment, as strange and uncertain as it seemed.

Finally, she started pushing herself up and away from him, and he just watched her as she slowly made her distance from him. The cool air hit him instantly and he missed her, but his face didn't show it. His face just watched her, his eyes following her every move.

What surprised him most though was that she appeared to not be distancing herself from him. She hadn't even climbed off of him yet, and it had been a good couple of minutes. She just looked around, inspecting her surroundings and smiled, pulling his jacket around her. And if he paid _extra_ close attention, he thought she was attempting to get a whiff of it. He smirked. _She still liked him. Loved him, maybe. Well…he wouldn't get ahead of himself. She had admitted it, sure, but then she had taken it back. It was a mistake to her. __**He**__ was always a mistake to her._

He noticed her teeth chattering slightly, when she pulled the jacket closer again. He grew angry at this, and now unafraid of being too noisy, pressed the button to lower the mid-window slightly, informing Arthur to turn heat up.

"Chuck?" she suddenly turned to him.

_Crap. I've ruined it._ He tried to get a hold of how stupid he had been, even if it had been to accommodate her.

"Hmm?" he asked, nonchalantly.

"Did we….I mean, have we….were we, uh?" she stuttered, trying to find the words to say. She seemed confused. Sudden amnesia or something.

He smirked, leaning in closer to her so she had to look at him. "If you're asking if we just had five continuous rounds of the best sex of our lives in this very limo, then….yes, we did," he smiled, leaning back again.

She just looked at him, almost shocked at how blunt he was being. Almost.

"Though it's not the first time, Waldorf, if you recall…"

He waited screams. The yelling. The slaps. The demanding to be brought home instantly. He knew he was provoking her. And anything but this silence and seemingly 'okayness' she was giving off would've been fine.

But she just looked down at herself, suddenly aware of her nakedness, and tried to bring the jacket closer around her, slipping her arms through the holes so as to have better access to button herself. He smirked.

"You're hot stuff, Waldorf. No shame," he said, unbuttoning the button she had just buttoned.

She looked at him, and watched him actions. How he unbuttoned her, how he smirked at her, how he stared. His comments, crude as they were…flattered her, and for some odd reason she could not get mad at him. She could not even pretend to. When he mentioned the losing of her virginity the year before, her eyes had narrowed and she wanted to slap him, and get as far away from him as she could, but…she couldn't. She was frozen. And she didn't want to leave. She was so warm and comfortable on his lap. She returned a similar smirk to him, and leaned in, planting a heated kiss on his lips, twisting her arms around his neck. He helped her, physically bringing her closer to him with his strong, gentle grasp around her waist. He loved the feel of his jacket around her, and found himself pulling her to him by the collar of his own jacket as well. How ironic.

When she finally broke away, leaving them both breathless, she leaned down and found a comfortable spot in the crook of his neck where her head happily rested.

"You're not so bad yourself, Bass," she said, smirk still implanted on her face.

He was gaping in shock. _Who the heck was this girl and what did she do with Blair Waldorf?_

Of course this was not the strangest of the shocks. No, it wasn't until at least thirty seconds later when she reached across for his hand and intertwined their fingers together, bringing them to rest just under her chin, as she nuzzled her head closer to him.

His heart was beating so fast he could hardly contain himself. _He was __**officially**__ going out of his mind._

………………………….

It was a little nerve-racking going to the Palace and asking for Chuck Bass at the concierge. It was even _more_ humiliating when the man asked her if she was one of his 'girls' and how she didn't look quite old enough or pretty enough to fit the part. But anything was possible, since he hadn't had a girl over in a considerable amount of time. She scoffed at this, though in reality she really shouldn't have been offended. It wasn't like she _wanted_ to be known as Chuck's slut. She had taught him not to mess with her at the Masquerade Ball for what he pulled at the Kiss on the Lips Party, and officially had no interaction with him ever since then.

Yet, here she was, begging for the key to his hotel suite, wanting in on his scheming ways. Not that Blair and Chuck weren't a completely perfect manipulative team on their own…but Jenny wanted to take down Serena for her own reasons. It wasn't just about Blair anymore…or what Serena had become, but what she had done to her brother in the process.

"I'm sorry…Miss…?" the man asked, obviously not in the caring mood.

"Jenny. Humphrey," she said, annoyed.

"Right," he looked away, "look, Mr. Bass is not in at the moment, so if you could," he made a scampering motion with his hand.

Jenny laughed nervously. "Well, do you know when he's coming back?" she snapped. She may have decided to quit the fashion business for now, but that didn't mean she still didn't have a bit of attitude.

The man sighed frustratingly, purposely trying to get on her nerves. She leaned her elbow on the desk, making the point obvious that she wasn't going anywhere soon.

"Not that it's any of your business, as I'm _sure_ you're not a friend of Mr. Bass…"

Jenny rolled her eyes.

"But last he left, which was several hours ago, mind you…he was heading for the Waldorf Penthouse."

Jenny's face lit up at this. "Thank-you," her smile slid in slyly. She turned and walked away and out the door, leaving the man staring after her, shaking his head.

"Brooklyn kids," he muttered.

………………….

On the way home, Jenny made a purposeful detour to the Van der Bass suite. She hadn't meant to go there originally, because she wanted to _avoid_ Serena at all costs, but perhaps this little piece of advice was _exactly_ what she needed to get the ball rolling.

She stepped into the foyer of the waiting home to be met by a pristine and graceful Lily.

"Oh Jenny dear, what a nice surprise!" she said, bringing her in for a hug.

"Yes, you too….um, do you know if….uh Serena is around?" she asked, looking anywhere but at Lily's face.

"Oh, yes….she should be in her room, I believe."

Jenny looked at her curiously. _Since when was Serena in her room at this time of night? It was early. Hadn't she just earlier told her that she was going with the girls to butter?_ She shrugged. She supposed she would find out eventually. She knocked lightly on the door, and when she got no response, she opened the door slowly.

"Serena?" she peered inside. _No one_. She smirked, knowingly. _Of course Serena wouldn't be in her room. _Jenny wasn't stupid_. _Not that Lily was, she was just a little…._uninformed_. Jenny turned around and closed the door, oblivious to the quiet click on contact. She went to sit on the bed, and pulled out a hyper drive, plugging it into Serena's lap top sitting innocently on her bed. As it was downloading the files, she began rummaging through Serena's things….her drawers, shelves, any ominous box or empty container. Looking for a clue. Looking for something that could destroy her.

Everything had looked pretty innocent, and quite honestly Jenny was disappointed she hadn't found more dirt. Dan obviously wouldn't be able to give in to the moral capacity of getting Serena jealous…not again at least. He wanted to be her friend, or something. But he did _not_ deserve all that she was throwing at him.

The computer made a beeping noise to notify the file fill-up. Jenny reached for her hyper drive and slipped it into her pocket. She shoved everything back to where she had found it, attempting to make it look as neat as possible.

Her shoulders slumped, officially disappointed in her lack of information. As she began to head for the door, she reached for the handle and discovered it was locked. _What?_ _Since when do they really lock from the outside? _She didn't know and she didn't care to find out. She called for Lily, hoping that if there was a God on earth she would hear her and open the door. But nothing. Now that she thought about it….Lily looked like she had been on her way out. She sighed, slumping down the side of the door. Here she was. Stuck in Serena Van der Woodsen's bedroom. Goodness knows the heat she'd be feeling when the gorgeous blonde walked through, probably several hours later.

_How could she have been so stupid?! How could she have—_she paused in her thoughts, noticing a crumpled piece of paper sticking out from under Serena's bed. She reached for it, and smoothed it out, gaping at what she saw.

There, in front of her, was a love letter from Serena to Nate.

And it was recent.

And not since this school year recent.

Or over the summer recent, when they were supposedly 'dating'.

It was _last_ year recent.

It was the day _Dan_ had told _Serena_ he _loved_ her.

………………………….

A/N: I know it's rather short, but, as discussed in the above author's note, this is just a briefly edited version of the aforementioned chapter 5. ;p Please review! I'll try to have chapter 6 up soon, seeing as this is now my story of focus! =D


	6. Squeezing Past Limitation

A/N: Yes, I am updating! Lol. You know, it humors me that I found the last chapter much shorter than the others, when in reality it was the longest I had written in this particular story. XD Double-spacing does a strange thing to one's mind. Heh. Anyways, thank-you for those of you who have stuck with this story, regardless of my extreme delay in putting it aside for some time. I hope you all continue to read and review and I will try and update this as soon as possible. =)

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**Ch. 6—Squeezing Past Limitation**

"Ah!" Jenny shrieked at the door being opened from behind her. She should have known it wouldn't be a good idea to sit back against the door once retrieving the letter from beneath the edge of Serena's bed. She only hoped it was not Serena herself that was opening the door from behind her.

"Jenny?"

_Ah. Relief. Eric._

She scrambled to her feet nonetheless though, and attempted to make up a convincing excuse before dashing out of the extravagant suite.

"Uh…"

Eric crossed his arms across his chest, almost in amusement, and waited for her response. He was confused to a certain degree, and the devil and angel were battling in his head as to if she was going to tell the truth or concoct a lie/excuse on the spot. Apparently she had decided to go for neither and just slipped past him, rushing for the front door (a.k.a. elevator). Smoothly, but with some haste he followed her, and by some miraculous occasion she ended up not leaving by the time he got to her at the mysteriously closed elevator doors.

She spun around at feeling the heat of his eyes against the back of his neck.

"Eric, it's not what you think. Really."

His eyebrows rose at her assumptions, and the arms that had crossed against his chest and slid down to his side by now…shifted, his hands slipping into his pants' pockets.

"And what is it that I think exactly?"

She cleared her throat. "Well…you know…" she gestured with her hand in the air, and even he was not completely sure what she was proposing, but he saw the panic in her facial expression and sighed.

"You're acting really odd Jenny…" he seemed to be analyzing her every move with his eyes. She visibly gulped, and he sighed, the expression on his face dropping from scrutiny to defeat. "But I'm just going to assume you were planning on seeing me, and mixed up the rooms?"

It sounded like a brilliant excuse to her, and she nodded her head slowly at first and then almost rapidly. He shook his head at her. There was definitely something going on, but there was no way he was getting it out of her at _this_ particular moment.

"And now," her mouth curved into a beaming smile.

He was scared.

"…I just realized, I—"

"—have to go?" he completed her sentence. Though, it sounded even more ridiculous that the excuse he had offered up for her.

"Yes," she spoke slowly, hearing the ding of the elevator and turning instantly towards it. Eric shook his head, becoming even more suspicious when she started feeling around near her pockets, for some odd little item he guessed. She faced him again, worry written all over her face. He sighed again and stepped aside for her to move past him again. She moved in a whirl, climbing up the stairs to Serena's room and scurrying out and down to the elevator once more. She turned to Eric, who was now in the kitchen drinking orange juice. He stood away from her, pretending he didn't see her suspicious behavior.

"Eric, you didn't—"

"—see anything, yeah, I know."

She beamed. "Thanks."

And she was gone. It seemed the elevator only worked for her on the moments _outside_ of interrogation.

………………………………………………………………………………

The soft moans emanating from the back of his dear limo angered him just a bit when he realized they were not coming from that beautiful brunette that he had been occupied with before. In fact, once he actually opened his eyes and looked around him, he came to find that she wasn't even there anymore. His eyebrows fused together.

"Arthur?" he called attention to his driver, pushing the button beside him to lower the dividing window between them.

"Yes, Mr. Bass?"

"Um…" he cleared his throat, "what happened to—"

"Miss Waldorf?" he offered.

"Yeah…" Normally he would be ticked to an endless degree that Arthur had interrupted him, but he was so very confused and hurt—though he'd never admit it—on the inside, that he didn't care to actually show anger at this point. Plus, he actually liked the guy.

"She asked to be dropped off at her home, Mr. Bass," he said it like it was common knowledge. Chuck wracked his brain for a reason why she would have taken off. Surely she could've waited until he was awake…so he could bid her farewell?

Sigh.

"When?"

The request was simple, but the older man still stuttered.

"Uh….about twenty minutes ago, Sir."

Chuck nodded. "Thank-you, Arthur." The window between them sealed shut once more. _Twenty minutes ago? That would mean she—well, he didn't know exactly where they were when he had woken up the first time, whether she—or they, well…when one or both of—whatever. She couldn't have requested to leave much after I fell asleep? Could that mean…what??_

He had never been more confused in his life.

And what's more…his jacket was missing. Last he recalled it was draped around her shivering shoulders. He sighed, more confusion adding to his troubled mind.

_She stole my jacket?_

Nonetheless, he pulled the rest of his clothing to himself and sunk into the previously discarded items. Then, he pulled out his cell phone from the deep, empty pocket of his pants, and sent a text.

**Leaving so soon?**

** -C**

It seemed forever till the quiet ring signaling a text alerted him. He decided he was scared half out of his mind to look at that text. But he convinced himself he'd feel like a complete idiot if it was from Nate or some other moronic loser.

_Not that Nate was a moronic loser, per say…just a bit slower than most._

He took a deep breath, and opened the text.

**It was nothing**

**-B**

The swallow in his throat burned as it traveled down the lining of his inner organs. He could ask her for clarification, but he knew it would just be icy torture to hear it from her directly, or see it in more detail. Blair Waldorf was finished with him, before she even knew they had started up again.

But maybe he needed to be sure.

Even if it caused his blood to boil, or hurt like hell.

**What?**

** -C**

And he could just imagine her eye roll. It was as plain as day rewinding and playing over and over in his mind.

**WE are nothing. Clear?**

** -B**

He sighed. Yep, it hurt. Just as he knew it would. One final message and she would wish she hadn't pushed him away. Chuck Bass did _not_ get _used_, even if his one weakness was _her_.

_**CLICK.**_

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

She sank deep into the seat of her limo, or at least the limo that belonged to her family. Whenever she thought of a limo she thought of Chuck Bass, but everyone on the Upper East Side had limos, so she decided right then and there that she would not associate them only with Chuck Bass, but—

__Sigh.

_Enough trivial thoughts for one day. _

There was only one thought really heavy laden on her mind, and—well, two if she was being honest. Blair. Nate. She drew a hand over her face and tried not to see the images that had been plaguing her mind for too long.

_Why had she done it? Why hadn't she come clean? And why was it still torturing her?_

Sigh.

She should've gone after Blair by now. Fame and fortune and endless pictures in magazine after magazine…were not worth it. If only she could share this with her best friend.

But she couldn't.

And she didn't even really want to.

She did, but she…didn't. Not if it ended up like this. Not if she felt so tortured. This _mean_ 'Queen S' was not her. It was nothing like her. It was _so_ fake. Blair could pull it off. It even suited Jenny for awhile. But her? No. It was not her. It never would be. And she was completely okay with that.

But she didn't know how to fix it. And she could only imagine the havoc that would be unleashed if she gave up her reign as queen. At least this way she could manage things until Blair stole the spot from her again, the spot that only Blair Waldorf could rightfully own.

Sigh.

She needed to do something. College visits were only a few weeks away, and the last thing she wanted to do was torment Blair when she was trying to shine at Yale. But…

_Nate_.

That seemed like a safer subject. It was anything but.

When Dan had told her he loved her a year ago, she couldn't respond. Not until the end of the day, and then she got caught up with Blair again, trying to save the very best damsel in distress. _Her_ damsel in distress.

And the muddled thoughts and feelings from earlier in the day evaporated.

She loved _Dan_.

_Blair_ was her best friend.

And she did love Dan, and Blair was her best friend. But there was so much more in between lines between Dan and Blair, and his name was Nate Archibald.

She had pushed him out of her mind, and out of her heart she thought, because she wanted Blair's friendship more than anything else. _Sisters stick together regardless of the boys that break their hearts. _

Dan was a distraction, and she _had_ fallen for him, _hard_.

_But_…

Sigh.

She closed her eyes and tried not to remember…

"_Serena. What is it? You said you wanted to talk."_

_She gulped. She told herself she wouldn't do this, that she would never let him back into her heart again, but she had pulled him back and she couldn't avoid it anymore._

_"Nate, I want to talk to you about what you said to Jenny at the Masquerade Ball," she spoke slowly and tried to maintain eye contact, but it was hard and she nearly failed completely. _

_He was taken aback and his lips parted, his jaw dropped, and then he swallowed. It looked so difficult. He untangled his hands from the soft grip of Serena Van der Woodsen._

_"What is there to talk about?" he avoided her eyes like the plague, those deep eyes that he could fall into forever._

_The breath hitched in her throat. "Nate—"_

_"No," he turned back to her, looking determined, convinced, confident in what he was going to do. "You're dating Dan. I just broke up with Blair."_

_Her eyes widened at his second statement. She could hardly see the truth in the matter, but she knew it was there._

_He sighed._

_"Now is hardly the time to talk about what we had."_

_She swallowed painfully. He had used to past tense, he had used—had. She nodded softly and stood to her feet, away from the frozen wood bench._

_"You're right. I'm sorry I wasted your time."_

_He joined her no more than a second following the words she had let slip out of her mouth._

_"Serena," he pulled her back to him, and she let a small silver tear drip down the side of her face, but she would not face him again. He had made his choice, and she felt like an idiot for thinking he would choose anything different. Over the course of the last few months, he had fallen back in love with Blair and she had fallen for Dan Humphrey, but…_

_There was always Nate Archibald. There was always their moments together. And she just couldn't let go. _

_Painful, tear-filled, sigh._

_"Don't go," he said, and she wanted to believe him, because he would do anything for her and he was suddenly risking everything at the thought of her wanting him again._

_As if she didn't actually want him before._

_"I have to," she forced out, making every move to keep her newly developed intention. This was a mistake, and she saw that now. "Blair loves you, whether or not you want her at the moment."_

_He scoffed. "She slept with Chuck!"_

_She turned in a whirl—breaking the promise she had made to herself moments earlier. "You guys were broken up!"_

_He shook his head, moving away from her just a little. "So you're taking his side then? Their side?"_

_She sighed, closing her eyes briefly. "I didn't come to talk about that."_

_He looked back to her._

_"I came to talk about…other things."_

_"And now you're trying to back out of them again…by making excuses?"_

_She pursed her lips together, afraid of anything else that would come out. Yes, she was contradicting her original intentions. Yes, she was not completely aware of what she wanted, or who. But she couldn't stop thinking about him. About them. And so…she stepped away._

_"Dan loves me."_

_He blinked. He didn't know what to say, and if he did he wouldn't know how to say it._

_"And I love him."_

_The shock spread across his face again. He was going to go insane with all the information she was spewing out at him in a matter of minutes._

_But she wouldn't see it. She didn't see it. Because she turned and left, just like before._

…but she always did. She always remembered.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A/N: Okay, so I was about halfway through this, or maybe close to the end…and I thought it wasn't going to take that much longer. That was when I noticed that this would be the 3rd shortest chapter, and honestly it freaked me out. Lol. I mean, it disgusted me how short those first few chapters were. *sighs and shakes head* So, I made it longer, and I'm sure you love me for it. ;p I'm SO glad to be starting this story up again! *squeal* Although…I have to admit, after the next chapter, it will probably be awhile before you see this updated. *sigh* But I'm going to update my other fics a ton! So, maybe that will hold you over? *sigh* Well, once I get to chapter 8 I'll be updating it pretty much constantly. So…yes. HAPPY CHAPTER! Lol. (Oh, and I totally made this chapter the longest, be proud. ;p)


	7. Innocence Defined

A/N: Okay, I honestly thought I'd be able to update tons of stuff this weekend, but I have recently discovered that I have an unhealthy butt-load of homework to do this weekend…*sigh* so, this will probably be the last thing I update until Monday or Tuesday—though Monday seems unlikely because I'll be consumed in the latest GG episode *will try not to write a one-shot off of it, since self already wrote a 3-part fic on the CB spoilers XD*, and Tuesday will be…conflicting to say the least, since I have a ton of stuff due on Wednesday. *going to die* But Wednesday on should be promising…heheh. *contemplates* Well, enough said. Please R & R, and my other fics too! *happy noddage* I'll update other things as soon as I have the time. ;p (Or…you know…if I can't hold it in my head any longer XD)

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**Ch.7—Innocence Defined**

He couldn't wrap his head around it.

Sure, she was Blair Waldorf, and sure, he obviously didn't expect her to insist on being his girlfriend now, but…

Sigh.

The way she had been looking at him directly after, the way she had snuggled up to him and held their hands together, intertwined no less. It didn't make sense.

_Then again, when did she ever?_

Sigh.

"Hey Chuck…"

His eyes snapped open and he focused on the beautiful brunette as her mischievous facial expression came into view. She had whispered her name into his ear, and he had gotten chills, but kept them hidden—somehow. Then she had settled herself onto his lap, and he honestly wished he had just gone to smoke along the side of the wall. At least he wouldn't have been so open to her scheming then.

Not that he entirely minded, it was just all so…disturbing.

"What do you want, Waldorf?" his eyebrows narrowed. She batted her eyelashes, posing the ever seductive flirty air.

This was getting ridiculous. He didn't know if it was more from frustration that she was being so fake with him, or the fact that even if she was being fake she still was affecting him—turning him on no less…he pushed her off of him. And luckily—she had been wearing low heels.

She sauntered after him, and before he could really grasp hold of what was happening, she had grabbed hold of the collar of his jacket and forced her lips upon his own.

Cameras flashed.

Freshmen girls whispered wildly amongst each other.

Friends of Nate—mainly the Lacrosse team—pointed in their general direction.

Chuck's eyes widened at hers when they parted. She was still clinging to the edges of his jacket, and the seductive tint was still so evident in her eyes. He knew it was fake. He knew it wasn't real. At least from what she had just shown him it hadn't seemed so.

_He would take what he could get._

His hold tightened around her waist and in a whirling flush he spun her into the brick wall a few yards off and kissed her passionately, unashamedly sneaking his hand under her skirt when she moaned into his mouth and gripped her fingers into the sifts of his brunette strands.

"Chuck—" she growled, but he cut her off. With a quick glance as to who was still standing around and finding nearly everyone had departed on sight of the heavy make-out session, he gave a few more quick mind-blowing kisses and dragged her into the hallway of St. Judes.

Blair coughed once regaining her strength from the recent spin into a new location. She looked around her, saw how Chuck glanced around the bathroom, made sure that no one was in any of the stalls, and locked the door. She cleared her throat, looking at him skeptically as he came back around to face her. She wasn't going to question how they had gotten into the bathroom when she had thought they had just barely squeezed into the hallway a moment ago. Quite frankly, she didn't remember much beyond that first kiss, which she had initiated, in the courtyard. All she could really recall beyond that was lips, tongue and teeth…and that really didn't bother her. She had accomplished her goal, had gotten him alone with little to no resistance.

Now they could talk.

"Blair, we need to—"

"Talk, yes, I know. That was kinda why I brought you in here."

He didn't argue, just focused his gaze closer in on her as he gingerly walked closer.

"I'm waiting," he stated, when she had successfully managed to remain silent for a little over a minute. She smirked, and then shrugged.

"I was wondering how long you'd hold you."

He sighed, growing impatient.

"Okay, here's the deal. I like you," she pushed at his shoulder playfully, implanting that fake, wide smile back on her face.

His expression remained motionless. "No you don't." _She did, obviously_. But for the sake of argument, she didn't. For the sake of _her_ argument.

She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest. "Of course I do. We've been friends since we could speak."

He glanced away, amused. "Before that, if I gather correctly—"

"Okay, point being, you were right."

His eyes flashed to hers. "Excuse me?"

"You were right," she repeated, but he looked to be completely lost. She sighed. "About the plan?" she offered. "About making Gossip Girl think—ugh, do I need to demonstrate again?"

He smirked. "Well, I certainly wouldn't mind the gesture…"

She huffed. "Do you have _any_ idea what I'm talking about?"

His smirk grew wider. "Yes, Waldorf, why else would I be locked in a bathroom with you?"

She laughed, shaking her head at him. "Isn't that usually a question you would be asking inside your head? If you honestly came in here with me for _that,_ then wouldn't—" His eyes grew dark.

"Oh."

He took a step closer.

"No, this is not happening." She was convinced, and he gave her points for thinking she could get out of it.

"Blair—"

She was pushing around him but not succeeding getting past his strong arms. She huffed and whimpered but she didn't scream, and he knew she wouldn't. He knew she wanted everyone to think they were together, and if they were together he wouldn't be raping her. They would be having sex.

"I have a class," she managed half a second later.

He stopped. "What?" he asked in disbelief, turning his face towards her. He nearly squeaked the word. Of all the excuses she could have come up with, this had to be the least convincing. But it worked well enough. In his completely unexpected confusion, she slipped out of his grip and went to the door, unlocking it on instant and stepping into the empty hallway.

"So we're _clear_ then?" she raised her eyebrows at him as he turned to her, coming to bearings as to what had just transpired between them. In the bathroom. At _St. Judes_. And in the courtyard. _Yes, he knew exactly what she wanted._

"Crystal," he spoke almost cheerfully, but the grim expression resting on his lips spoke volumes otherwise. She wanted them to be a _fake_ couple, to convince people they were _together_, to heighten Serena's forgotten overprotective sister nature once more, so everything would get back to normal.

_Normal._

She was gone. The door closed behind her almost the moment following his answer. He didn't see her flush or how she almost tripped on the lower than low heels she had decided to wear for that day. No, he was too _consumed in her_, and what they still _weren't_ doing. He was her _forbidden secret_ again, in a manner of speaking.

_God, he hated it. _

"Dude, did you just have a _girl_ in here?! She was hott!"

The squeaky voice was coming from some nerd who had managed to make his way into _St. Judes_ probably by the biggest mistake in the history of the universe…or his father had paid for it. Regardless, Chuck sighed, rolled his eyes, and pushed the kid into the closest urinal to the door on his way out. He seriously should have waited a good five minutes before deciding he needed to pee. The kid cried out at the forced action, rubbing his nose for what would soon be a bruise.

"_Is_ hott," Chuck corrected.

He turned to the right once outside the door, away from the direction Blair had gone, and reluctantly headed to class.

…………………………………………………………………………

_"Nate!"_

Being in school was a headache, and Jenny Humphrey was starting to wonder why she had opted for that. Her memory seemed to be failing her. Then, she recalled that her main motivation was to get back at Serena Van der Woodsen for hurting her brother _and_ Blair Waldorf, who was _supposed_ to be her best friend.

Sigh. She was out of breath.

"Jenny, hey! Are you okay?" he asked a moment later, a smile tugging at the edge of his lips. She smiled back at him.

"Yeah…yes, I just—" she stopped trying to speak, and started trying to catch her breath again. Thankfully he stood there patiently, waiting for her to come to grips on her air supply. When it seemed she had, he gestured to a table in the courtyard.

"Here, why don't we sit down."

She nodded, laughing a bit as he handed her his water bottle. She only barely caught the piercing glare coming from Penelope and the rest of the mean girls across the courtyard.

"Nate," she cleared her throat."

He looked at her expectantly, and she handed his water back.

"Thanks," he smirked, screwing the bottle cap back on. Then, he looked to her again. "What'd you want to talk to me about?"

"I need a favor."

He just stared. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. He was just remembering back to the last time she asked him for a favor. That had just ended in a Blair Waldorf disaster, even if it had been temporary. At the time it hadn't mattered too much to him, since he wasn't exactly _pleased_ with his _ex-_girlfriend at that point, but that didn't mean he wanted to see her hurt _more_. And to have it happen _again_ this year would be awful, especially since she was already battling with her _'will she-or-won't she'_ struggle with Chuck, and the fact that now not only her mother but also her best friend was against her.

"Nate?"

He sighed, shaking his head and wrapping a hand around his neck for a moment. "Sorry, I was just thinking—what is this about Jenny?"

Her face spoke panic, like he'd found something out, and that made him even more uncertain about what exactly she may be getting at.

"If this is about Bl—"

"Oh god, no! This is _not_ about Blair," she insisted, and he was oddly enough convinced. She chuckled at the ridiculous notion. "No, believe it or not, I am not out to get Blair this time around."

He smiled at her, breaking into a laugh. "Well…okay," he conceded. "What do you need?"

Her eyes lit up and she stood to her feet. "Your help with…something."

He looked at her quizzically.

"It's not bad—I swear." Her eyes glittered and her gaze was pinned to his. He had opened his mouth to question her motives once again—seemed he could not be entirely convinced for long—but she grabbed hold of the sleeve of his coat and pulled him with her across the courtyard. "Come on, I'll show you!" she giggled, and he found himself caught up in her merry laughter.

"Okay, okay!" he laughed, releasing his arm from her grasp and following after her, but soon enough she caught onto his sleeve again. It appeared she was too fast for him.

It also looked as though Penelope and the mean girls were not too pleased with this little transaction. They followed Nate and Jenny with their eyes, and beamed when Serena exited from a Constance hall to chat with them.

They were sure she would want to know about this one. This _new_ Serena was mean and relentless, and with Blair dethroned _again_, only _Queen Serena_ would get the say on Nate's alliances. And those alliances did _not_ include Jenny Humphrey.

............................................................................................

Serena certainly had been as venomous or delightfully as the girls had imagined she'd be. It seemed she had something in particular on her mind, something not regarding the social destruction of either Jenny or Blair.

"Why would Nate matter to me?!" she shrieked, and the girls looked to her mysteriously.

"Isn't he your friend?" Hazel offered.

The tall blonde calmed with the question. "Yes, he is. But Blair's also my friend and—"

Their eyebrows raised and Serena shook her head.

"Never mind, let's go out to a bar or something. I need a drink." She sighed, and the bunch followed her into the limo.

The bar was anything but sane however. The girls hopped from bar to bar, unable to really settle down—rather Serena was unable to settle down. She got drunker than necessary, than any of them would have dared to get, and Penelope's eyes widened at the sight. A few of them snapped a picture or two and sent it on to Gossip Girl. When the morning came she would still be their queen, and they would still be her minions, but for now this was entertainment and they were going to _enjoy_ themselves.

"Guys!" she squealed, nearly falling off the table she was practically dancing naked on. "Come up here!!!"

The girls rolled their eyes at the gesture, grateful that her undergarments had not been removed. The men in the room were hollering at the frisky blonde and she bobbed her head around, swaying at the music and winking at the bartender to keep the drinks coming.

Finally, an hour or so later, everyone besides Serena from Constance had vacated the premises. Now she was alone with a bunch of drunken bastards and some drink-filling idiots who wanted money and to get laid. She was oblivious though and continued with her charade, coming down from the counters and tables to dance in the more club-type setting of the room. She spun around, feeling for the dress that had gone up and over her head. Eventually it got back to her and she slid it through her arms.

No one she knew was there, and her mind was gone.

_This was safe. This was familiar. This erased everything she didn't want to think about. Gone was Blair and Dan and Nate and college. Gone was everything. _The room spun and her vision grew blurry, and she was sure it was only the after—or current—effects of the alcohol. She didn't think anything could possibly be going wrong, and if it was—_good riddens!_ She didn't care anymore. Everything was a mess. She didn't even know _who she was_ anymore.

Gasp.

Something around her felt strangely familiar, more familiar than this bar club setting. More familiar than forgetting who she was or what she was doing if she even knew what any of that could possibly be anymore.

Groan.

"Hush, Serena. I'm trying to get you out of here _alive_."

"_Chuck—?_" she asked, confused. It felt like he was pulling her across the room to…_someplace_. She couldn't tell where. The night had gone on, had gotten so crazy. She wouldn't be surprised if it was actually the next night, or the next. "Where are you taking me?" she shook her head, trying to get a hold on some reality.

He sighed. "Someplace safe."

Moan.

"What are you doing here?" she moaned louder, tossing her arms out in front of her. "Where's Blair?"

He closed his eyes in frustration, unable to really answer the last question, wondering what the fiery brunette wasn't doing here. He was sure she would've seen the Gossip Girl posts, same as him. He sighed, trying not to think about it. His sole purpose in coming was to save Serena. Popularity and those idiot minions were killing her alive. She wasn't meant for that position. She was the nice girl, she was the best friend of the mean girl with a ridiculously large heart.

She had stopped making movements and noises and it concerned him. He looked back to her, having finally reached the far side of the room. He was reasonably close to the side-exit door and the Bass men he had brought with him (luckily without his father's knowledge) came charging in, assisting the teenager in his transportation of the drunken blonde.

Chuck sighed, following them determinedly.

Blair should be here. This fight's gone on long enough.

"Mr. Bass?" Arthur called to him, and Chuck snapped out of his thoughts, cursing himself for getting swept up in them so often. He nodded in recognition and departed fully from the club. The older man shut the door behind him after he got in, and signaled to the two limos behind him, which carried the Bass emergency employees who would get richly rewarded on return to the Palace. After all, this was probably viewed as a feeble issue in their minds.

He sighed. They were all safe now. _She_ was safe, and he was sure any minute now she would gorge her evening of drinks onto the leather seats. But for once, particularly because it was Serena, it didn't matter. She was a real sister to him now, and Chuck Bass takes care of his own.

**Spotted: Chuck Bass trailing after Serena Van der Woodsen carried by big men in black suits. Sound scandalous? I do hope so. After her night of drinking and dancing, this looks anything but innocent.**

**You know you love me, XOXO **

**-Gossip Girl**

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A/N: Well, I hope you loved it!!!!!! =D Please review! I'm really sorry I couldn't update/publish anything else this weekend. *sigh* I really was planning on it, but I just got swept up in a ton of homework, which I'll probably still be doing up until Wednesday night. I hope you can hold out. ;) Thanks again for reading! Please review!! ;p *can never say this enough it seems lol*


	8. Grins and Lies

A/N: Yay! Update! *cheers* Lol. It seems that I have been able to update tonight, which is lovely. ;) I should be updating a bunch of stuff this weekend, and I know I've said that before, but I think it is definitely more likely this weekend than the others…before. Heh. Enjoy! I should be able to update this fic quite a bit from now on until its finish. ;p Sorry it's been so long since the last update. ;)

* * *

**Ch.8—Grins and Lies**

Luckily for him, it was a Saturday. That was excuse enough for how crazy Serena had gone the night before. She had gotten that wasted since before junior year, basically, minus the Georgina period towards the end of the school year. But Serena was safe now, safe and warm and dealing with a minor headache in the security of her bed.

And he was at the Waldorf penthouse. There was a particular brunette that he really needed to speak with. She clearly wasn't taking their relationship or anything else seriously. If Blair really wanted Serena to see the light and willingly hand her queenship back over it would have been smart on her part to be the one who saved her the night before.

He sighed.

Thankfully Dorota hadn't seen him, and thus hadn't announced him. He highly doubted Blair wasn't actually there, and he didn't want her to make an excuse for him not to come to her. They needed to talk, and even her polish maid wasn't going to keep him away.

"Blair."

"Chuck," she sighed, pasting on another layer of lip gloss across her delectable lips as he moved into her bedroom and shut the door. Her eyes suddenly narrowed at the action and she directed her gaze to him.

"I hope you're not planning to pull something like before."

"Not this time." He walked further into the room, casting his gaze across the walls as she continued to apply her make-up.

"What do you need, Chuck?" she asked, standing to her feet and dropping her robe to pull on a blouse and short skirt. He didn't even flinch. "Last I recall, seeing each other in _private_ wasn't part of the deal."

"Where the hell were you last night?" he demanded, not wasting time and stalking for her. His tone didn't threaten her though, and she fingered her way through the headbands in the top drawer of her dresser.

"Let's see…" she pondered, half about the question and half about which headband to wear.

"Blair," he warned. Her fingers left the headbands and she turned to him.

She sighed. "I was here, _God Chuck! _You're so tense this morning." She laid herself carefully on the surface of her bed, folding her knees beneath her. Then, she picked up a magazine and began flipping casually through it.

He shook his head at her. "Well, while you were here, did you happen to have your phone on?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course."

"Well, did you check it at all?" His voice was so low and dangerous, but she seemed unaffected. She looked up at him.

"I didn't get any messages," she spat. "Why _would_ I?" He turned to her phone resting on the dresser now behind him. Her eyes darted to where his hand hovered, and even if she had jumped for it she wouldn't have reached it in time.

"Twenty-five unread messages," he declared, showing her the screen from a distance. "No messages, huh?"

"I wasn't notified," she insisted, dropping the magazine beside her.

His eyebrows rose. "Oh, really? Since when are you not attached to the hip with this phone?" He sighed and shook his head. "Is it on silent?"

She said nothing, made no movements either. Though, he did notice a tiny gulp on her part. He saw as it traveled from the base of her throat to half-way down her neck. His eyes turned back to the phone and checked the settings, noticing how the sound was on its highest level, for messages and the like. He sighed, and finally she stood to her feet, feeling stupid for not doing so sooner. She crossed the room and snatched the device out of his hand, depositing it in another dresser across the room, the one with her headbands.

"I think you should go," she said. He turned to face her.

"All of those messages were from Gossip Girl. I got _fifty_ messages last night."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't want to hear about your call girls, Chuck."

_Jealousy._

"They were all from Gossip Girl, he persisted."

She sighed, waving her hand about in a bored gesture. "Your point?"

"My point is," he walked closer to her, "You had more calls, Blair. You checked them, you read them, and you saw that Serena got beyond wasted last night and everyone abandoned her."

His eyes were penetrating and she could not look away. All she could hope for was that she wouldn't crumble and become vulnerable again.

"_I _came through for her_. I _found out where she was and _I _went down and got her and sobered her up and brought her home."

She blinked, grasping onto the handles of her dresser when he closed the distance between them. "It shouldn't have _just_ been me, Blair."

He turned away, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair.

_"Chuck…" Serena whined. Her head fell to his lap, and he blinked—almost surprised by the action, but he allowed it, especially since she had not heaved yet. They were only 5 minutes from the Palace; surely she could hold it in till then._

_ "Hmm?" he asked._

_ She huffed. "I miss Blair."_

_ He looked to her, hopeful. He wanted to say Blair missed her too, and he knew she probably did, but she had been so obsessed with getting her title back lately…the fact of actually being without her best friend didn't really seem to occur to her. _

_ "I really screwed up!" she sniffled, reaching her hand out for something. He caught it with his own and just held it. "I didn't mean to lose her, I just—"_

_ He nodded, tucking one of her blonde strands behind her ear. No one would have to know he could be this endearing—and even if they did, it wouldn't matter. Serena was family. And suddenly he understood her side of things completely, in becoming queen—accidentally. He should have known sooner. He helped put her there. _

"I think you should go," she said suddenly and he turned to her.

He scoffed.

"You've informed, you've lectured and you've overstayed your welcome. Leave."

He looked intently at her; neither said another word and neither moved closer to each another. He gazed across the room one more time and then strode towards the door, opening it and staring hard at her before closing it behind him.

* * *

A knock at the door—garage door rather.

"Dan!" she said, horrified, shutting her laptop tightly again. He glanced at the quick movement and sighed, shaking his head.

"Again with the laptop," he pointed to it. She forced a smile.

"Is there something you need?" she asked, pushing the computer off her lap and crossing her legs in front of her. He walked in front of her.

"Jen, we've always been able to tell each other everything, right?"

She nodded, wondering where this was going, though having a little bit of an idea where its destination might lie.

"You're not hiding anything from me, are you?" he looked into her eyes earnestly.

And she wanted to tell him, she really did. She wanted to tell him that she was plotting against Serena, using Nate to put together some sort of scam that would send the older blonde crashing to the ground and send Blair soaring to the top again. Then _she_ wouldn't be pushed down constantly at school either.

_But Serena?_

"No," she said.

Sister or not, changing her ways or not, dating or not, Dan would never let anything harmful happen to Serena.

His face eased and he came to sit on the chair just across from her bed. "So…school," he said.

She nodded. "School."

"Is it completely killing you?"

She laughed, her deception falling to the back of her mind for the moment. "Completely."

"Can I help you?" he quirked an eyebrow.

"Uh, I don't think so," she teased, "Girl-stuff."

He laughed. "Oh, so it's about your _period_?" he looked at her in hysterical skepticism.

She gaped. "Dan!" She hit him with her pillow viciously, especially when he poured on more of his playful assumptions, and she threw them right back.

"So," she said, in a fit of giggles, twenty minutes later after their intense pillow fight—he had grabbed a pillow from the opposite side of her bed—and tired arms, "tell me, Dan. What's new in your life?"

He raised his eyebrows and lowered them again. "That is such a good question."

"Mmm," she cuddle herself up across her bed. "It's early and it's Saturday. I'm all ears."

He smirked.

"Besides, the last few times we've spoken it has been your penetrating questions to me. Now you have to answer some of mine," she said, on a higher note.

"Oh do I?"

"You do." She beamed.

He chuckled. "Okay, well, I am a social disaster," he sighed.

She frowned, somehow having forgotten this in her mad need to take Serena down. For some bizarre reason she had drawn her focus on helping Blair, even if her initial inspiration had been because of her brother's downfall.

"Right, I forgot," she winced.

"Heh. Yeah, and normally I wouldn't mind, but at least before I was just a nameless face. Now, everyone knows who I am and they move away from me like I have some sort of disgusting disease."

"I'm sorry, Dan. I know how hard it is to survive in that sort of hierarchy."

He scoffed. "Yeah, and the worst part? Serena is the cause of it all. She basically '_commanded'_ it to take place. _Serena!_"

Jenny sighed. "I know. It's ridiculous."

"And the Gossip Girl posts about how _wasted_ she got last night?"

Jenny's eyes widened. She hadn't even really paid attention to her phone in the last couple days or so, at least the last 24 hours. She had been too busy trying to figure her plan all out and get it into some sort of plot outline on her computer. Also she had been e-mailing Nate frantically, constantly wanting to get together, but of course he had always been too busy. Luckily, he had opened up a slot for her Sunday afternoon. She had to find out the secrets between him and Serena from the year before, regardless of how they might hurt her brother should he find out.

The very concept of all of this scandal reminded her of when _she_ was queen, and how much she had been willing to do to be accepted, to be admired and feared. She wouldn't go that far this time. _Certainly_ not. Her intentions now were not for herself in the least. She was doing this for her brother and for Blair. Though, being around that beautiful blonde, Nate Archibald, didn't hurt too much either.

"That's not the Serena I know," he finished.

"She was always so sweet with you, Dan. With everybody when she was with you," she said, reaching her hand out and squeezing his own to comfort him.

He nodded. "Yeah, Lily said something like that when we were dating. At the Cotillion," he nodded. Jenny remembered. Oh, did she remember. That was the same night she fixed Blair's dress and got thrown back into the loop with her…she also simultaneously managed to get on a bad base with her mother. Though it was bound to happen eventually she supposed. The whole 'rich life' thing was pulling her in. Blair and Serena and Nate and Chuck and all the rest of them just appeared to have it all. For the first time in her life it was what Jenny wanted.

"You guys were like the real life Romeo and Juliet," she chuckled.

He laughed. "Yeah…" he frowned.

"Dan, I didn't mean to—"

"No, no," he waved her apology off. "I just miss her, you know?"

She offered a sympathetic smile.

"I mean, maybe we couldn't get over our differences, maybe Georgina was too big of an issue, and maybe combining the Upper East Side with Brooklyn just isn't a good idea."

Jenny sighed.

"It isn't exactly working out for Vanessa."

The blonde sighed again. "This conversation has gotten awfully depressing."

He laughed, pulling her in for a hug. "Yeah, I believe that is _your_ fault."

"Hey, now! You were the one who came in here to begin with!" She defended.

"Oh yeah, about that," he pulled away. "I wanted to ask you…how _are_ you doing with the whole coming back to school thing. I know it must not be easy, especially with the whole Blair vs. Serena rivalry."

She stuttered a bit. "I'm doing fine—great actually," she smiled softly.

He looked at her skeptically. "Are you sure?"

She smiled wider and nodded. "Absolutely."

* * *

"Alright Jenny, what was so important you had to get a hold of me?" he winked, taking a seat across from her at the café she had specifically picked out—far enough from her home that no one-especially her brother would bump into her, and yet close enough that it wouldn't come off as suspicious.

She smiled half-heartedly. As much as she loved the affection she was getting from the handsome boy sitting across from her, she had to get down to business. "I was wondering if you could tell me something about Serena."

Immediately terror etched across his face, but it removed itself when he realized there had been some problems regarding Serena and Blair over the last week or so. He focused in on that, but Jenny wasn't blind. She was hoping that her intuition would serve her well—that Nate's knee-jerk reaction to her request had to do with Serena's love confession to him the year before…

"Look, I don't understand Blair and Serena, and I think it's best you stay out of their catfight until they mend it themselves. It's not really safe to get involved unless you want to get scratched up in the process," he chuckled and she offered up a smirk.

"Thanks for the warning, Nate, but that's not exactly what I was getting at."

His eyebrows fused. "Well then…" he folded his hands in front of him on the table.

Jenny sighed, her eyes closing momentarily as she prepared herself. "I can trust you, right?"

"Yes, of course," he said, assuredly. But it made her think twice of what she had been planning to tell him, of this whole scheme all together. Maybe things _would_ work out on their own. _Who was she to judge otherwise?_ On the other hand, she had found out some pretty secretive information that Nate probably should know about. _Serena obviously hadn't given him the letter. If she had, would he __**really**__ have given it back? _The idea was almost appalling to the young blonde.

"Jenny? Is something wrong?" he leaned forward a bit as the silence grew. Her eyes flashed up to his.

"Yeah," she blinked and shook her head briefly. "Maybe this was a mistake," she muttered, sinking back into her chair. Nate looked on in worry.

"Jenny."

Her eyes zoomed back in on him.

"You should tell me. You obviously feel like you can't tell anyone else, and I want you to tell someone you can trust, who can help you if you need it. Tell me," he encouraged, offering a small smile.

Jenny sat back up to her current position but found herself unable to maintain his gaze. She fiddled with her fingers before her on the table and tried to find the right wording. She felt so deceptive to everybody, but she was determined.

"I found something," she looked up to him and his eyebrows furrowed once more. Either she had misinterpreted his initial reaction before, or he was really good at keeping his cover and acting confused. "It's something involving you, Nate…"

His eyes focused in on her intently.

"…and Serena," she sighed, trying so very hard to get the courage to say what she needed to say. "Last year—"

He held his hand up, and she stopped the words pouring out of her mouth. "Whoa, stop there for a minute. I was _not_ involved with Serena last year. Last summer…and that whole mess, but it was always her and your brother. She didn't _cheat_ on him, Jenny."

He almost seemed angry, and she gulped, not wanting to lose another friend in this big mess. "No, no, I know she didn't," she shook her head, rushing the words out of her mouth once again. "Of course not. Serena wouldn't do that. She may have—according to you and Blair and…whoever else—caused _you_ to cheat, but of course she wouldn't on Dan. He's her first love I think," she smiled softly, noticing though how Nate cringed at her assumption.

"Look, Jenny, you're cool. I like you…"

Her heart fluttered at the statement. She tried hard not to show it.

"…but I think this is getting a bit…_personal_."

She sighed, nodding, focusing back in on the topic. "Yes, I know," she shook her head rapidly, trying to gather her thoughts and figure out a way to make this work to her benefit, to make sure this all worked out for everybody except this crazed, demeaning new Serena Van der Woodsen. "I just…I need to know something. I mean, I know we don't know each other super well, but we have had a few really good talks and you've helped me with some things and I've helped you some things, and I just…I need to know…" she grasped at words she couldn't find.

"Jenny," he interrupted. Her eyes found their way back to him after spinning around the table in circles.

"I found a letter."

He sat further back into his seat, looking to be shocked by her claims. He watched as she pulled a folded couple pieces of paper out of the bag she had brought with her and slid it to the middle of the table. His name was written in fancy form across the back side.

"What is this?" he asked after his eyes had sufficiently inspected the object. He looked up to her.

"This is the letter." She pointed to it, incase some sort of panic was going on inside him and he couldn't think straight, couldn't understand the obvious.

"It's a love letter," she said, almost angry, and leaned a bit across the table. "From Serena to you," she paused, "on the day Dan told her he loved her."

His eyes remained affixed to hers.

"Jenny."

"Do you know anything about this?" she asked, her voice soft.

"No," he said, instantly, and then rose to his feet. She looked to him in slight embarrassment and worry for what might happen next. "I don't want to hurt you, Jenny," he began again, adjusting the strap of his own bag now settled back on his shoulder.

Her eyes scanned his every move, searching for some kind of meaning behind them all, and especially behind his words.

"…but this isn't your business, so quite honestly? Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you."

Her head reared back a little.

"I'll see you in school," he turned away and walked out of the café, leaving the letter lying unmoved in the middle of the table. Jenny's fingers curled around it and she brought slid it back into her bag.

_The ends justify the means…right? _

* * *

A/N: Yay! I finished it! Please review! I'll definitely be updating this more often, promise. Heh. Unless of course I get distracted by more one-shots inspired from the show. XD I'll try not to though. ;p Thanks for reading! =D

P.S. The title is inspired from the poem, "We Wear the Mask" by Paul Laurence Dunbar. Go read it! It's really good. ;) *memorized it for a test*


	9. Blind

A/N: Another chapter! So soon? Yes. Lol. Please review! I'm lovin' your lovely reviews… ;p

* * *

Ch.9—Blind

**Well, well, Upper East Siders, seem our Queen S just couldn't get enough. Three weeks later and she's still hung over every day of the week. I don't know about you, but I'm starting to get bored. Anyone want to join the party?**

** -Gossip Girl**

Serena shut her phone, looking up at the expectant faces around her.

"What?!" she snapped. Penelope widened her eyes and looked to the rest of the girls.

"You tell us."

The blonde's eyebrows furrowed.

"You've gotten wasted day after day, week after week, and even Gossip Girl is bored. If you're mourning your woes over Dan still. Please that boy is so not worth your time," Penelope said, followed with a nod from the girls beside her. Serena sighed harshly.

"It's not about Dan."

Penelope raised her eyebrows. "What's it about then?"

And Serena wanted to tell them, she really did. She wanted to say how badly she wanted to make things up with Blair, and how this big scheme to become queen was so accidental she didn't even know how it happened. But she couldn't tell them, because she knew then Penelope would slide up to become queen and she could be even more cold-hearted than Blair at times.

"You're not thinking about making up with Blair, are you?" one of the girls asked, shock flashing across her face.

"No, no, of course not," Serena scoffed, flipping her long locks across her shoulder.

"Well then," Penelope smiled, mischievously. "Why don't you let her know?"

Serena's eyes darted to all of them and then back to Penelope. "At school?" she asked, a hint of fear lacing her question. The brunette before her shook her head.

"No, of course not. Although, that would be pretty humiliating," she smirked, contemplating it.

"You were saying?" the blonde asked, clearing her throat.

"Oh right," Penelope continued. "Leave her messages," she said with a smirk. "Lots of them."

Her eyes widened.

"So she'll have to listen to them over and over and over again," she spoke slowly with a devilish air. She was surprised Chuck hadn't hooked himself onto Penelope. It had never occurred to her that he had a heart, even if he had shown glimpses of one over the past few months, at least just before summer.

The girls watched their queen intently, seeing what she would do. "Are you queen, Penelope, or am I?"

"Well, you, obviously," the brunette rolled her eyes. "I was just offering suggestions," she shrugged, "since the most brilliant thing you've come up with is getting drunk off your ass countless days in a row."

Serena's eyes narrowed. How she was talking to her was ridiculous. She knew these girls would never talk to Blair in this manner. She hadn't even considered the possibility of their perverse language, except maybe when Blair had been dethroned the year before.

"I'll make the calls," she said cautiously. Penelope nodded her approval. "But the next time you try to overrule me or think you're the one making the decisions and I'm just your puppet?"

Penelope reared back, her eyes widening.

"Let's just say Nate will never come near you again," she smirked, walking towards her limo. The brunette gaped after her. "Come on, ladies," she called. "One more night at the bars, then I'll make Blair wish she hadn't been born." Penelope's frustration slipped into a smile and she climbed into the vehicle after the girls that had surrounded her before.

And just like that the heart of Serena Van der Woodsen was buried. It took a lot to bury that. Peer pressure, unrelenting glares from the girl she used to call her best friend. It didn't even seem like they were fighting anymore. They were just…_done_. It also didn't help the fact that she hadn't been able to find her love letter to Nate from the year before in weeks. Sure her room could be a mess at times, but she had pulled it out from one of her many boxes and had started reading over it while on her bed. When she had to dash out of the room for some bizarre reason, the letter had fallen to the floor just beneath her bed and something ran through her—a fear that she shouldn't be reading over that _anymore_. She had covered up her feelings for a long time and then they had surfaced back. She could push them down just as easily now. She just didn't know why she had dug it out to begin with.

Maybe it was because Dan and she were officially over, and the first thing she thought of once single was Nate Archibald. They had been so forbidden before; she didn't let herself even get close to thinking about him unless she was unattached. Over the summer had been different. She was so immersed in losing Dan there was no way she could even conjure up a romantic thought for the dashing Archibald. She had fallen so hard for Dan Humphrey and now he was gone. But Nate had offered a way out, for both of them and for that she was grateful. He was always willing to do anything to keep her happy, to try at the very least. It was the whole reason he was trying for Blair most of the year after she found out about them. Until Blair had broken up with him and been with Chuck—secretly.

_God, all these secrets!_

She hated them. But it wasn't like she was very willing to unleash them either.

"S," Penelope prodded, and she turned to the vivacious brunette, her eyes zoning in on the dazed out expression on her queen's face.

"Servant?" she retorted and Penelope's eyebrows narrowed. She forced a short, little laugh.

"Are you not enjoying yourself? You look a little sad," she made a mock-pout of her fake sympathy. Serena shook her head at her antics. She couldn't wait until this worthless girl was put away for her dirty deeds.

"You know, P," she said, leaning across the other girls. "I've got something I need you to do?"

Her eyebrows lifted.

"And that would be?"

"Seduce Chuck."

* * *

_What the hell was he doing?_

He was letting Blair use him in any way she pleased, _that's_ what he was doing. He now completely regretted even suggesting him and Blair pretending to date to get on the nerves of Serena Van der Woodsen. It wasn't working. All it had done was sent the blonde into a downward spiral, and with Blair as ticked as she was she couldn't even register that her best friend was falling off a giant precipice and she wasn't even lifting a finger to help her. Instead it was him, the step-brother, the fake boyfriend, that had gone after her every night and brought her home so she wasn't violated by some drunk psycho.

And yet…

**My place.**

** -B**

He just kept letting himself get pulled in. The woman was a drug, an addiction, and even at her worst he couldn't say no. He nodded, sighing to himself and sent her a quick reply in return. Whether it was good for anyone or not, he was going over to the Waldorf penthouse and he had not even the slightest doubt they would be walking or driving around somewhere in public. Blair didn't want to see him these days, only to keep up her image. She had mentioned a time or two—more than one actually would—about how detestable his call girls were and that he should make them scarce for the time being, simply for the benefit of regaining her title. It offered a piece of hope that maybe she was jealous, but he hardly gave the idea much thought. He was so conflicted these days. Serena and Blair were at the worst he'd seen them. Blair didn't seem to care, and Serena only did when she was drunk beyond reckoning. On top of that he was being crushed daily by the brunette's sharp façade. He knew her—better than anybody, and not even he could crack her, not lately anyways.

"You rang, your Highness?" Her eyes flicked up to his, as he leaned against her door frame. She stood to her feet.

"I texted actually," she said, sliding her phone into the purse lying on her bed. He nodded, trying very little to hide his annoyance.

"Where are we going tonight?" he drawled, getting sick of the routine she had created for them.

"On a walk," she declared.

"A walk," he repeated, finding this incredibly unusual. It wasn't part of the routine—of the plan she had written out and made him memorize. Sunday's—breakfast, Monday's—Central Park, feeding the ducks, Tuesday's—an exceedingly long time spent in his limo (_if only the activities had actually drawn his interest_, he sighed), Wednesday's…well, he didn't really care to rehearse them. But today was Thursday and a simple _walk_ was not on the menu.

"Mmhmm," she nodded, pursed smile implanted on her face. "Just around the block," she said, walking towards him and grabbing a light jacket along the way. The temperature had gotten a little cooler lately and she didn't want him to have to wrap his suit coat around her again. Regardless if it gave off the very appearance of a _perfect_ boyfriend, she knew _Chuck Bass_ wouldn't lose his clothing for anything but sex. He had to keep up appearances.

Chuck sighed, following after her once she had walked out of her room and skipped down the stairs. He _hated_ how awkward this was. He wished they could at least go back to their witty banter. Even when they partook in their forbidden relationship the year before it was less difficult than this. Just because he hadn't complied her request of a love confession and had sought out to destroy her ever since, didn't mean she had to keep up this façade throughout the days they spent together. At least when they were trying to avoid each other at school, when they _did_ run into each other insults and wit were exchanged. Now it was just fake sweetness, and he _hated_ it.

"You brought a jacket this time," he remarked once they had gotten outside. She nodded.

"Yep, it's chillier than last time." She walked along briskly and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he caught up with her.

"You know, last time I just gave you my jacket to wear when you started to shiver," he said, breathing the words into her ear. Tingles ran through her and tightened the jacket around her.

"Yes, well, even _perfect_ boyfriends don't wrap their jackets around their girlfriends every time they're cold. Besides, if you did it would look more staged. This has to look genuine." She nodded. He sighed and accepted the fact. _Staged_. _God, he hated that word now_. What bothered him even more is that no one could catch them in this fake relationship talk. That was the benefit, Blair would say, about pictures. They could look awful deceiving, but they couldn't talk. People would have to interpret for themselves, and Chuck held in his disgust and glares for Blair until they were behind closed doors—the few times that actually happened. To the world, or at least everyone at school, they were every bit the happiest couple. It was disgusting. I was more fake than when Nate was dating Blair because Serena asked him to.

This was intentional and artificial and both knew how fake it was.

"Are you going to talk to Serena soon?" he asked, smile wide on his face—no matter how serious and upset about the situation he was.

"No. Why would you think that? She has to come to me."

"Blair—"

"No, Chuck," she giggled spontaneously, noticing a few onlookers taking pictures with their phone from afar. She pecked his cheek softly. "She ruined me, intentionally or not," she squeaked. He tried hard not to wince. "She has to pay her dues."

They had stopped walking momentarily, but he wrapped a gloved hand around her waist and pulled her along. She forced the sensation of his hand wrapped around her waist to be unnoticeable to any outside eyes. She just hoped he hadn't felt her sudden tensing. She should have gotten used to his touch by now, since they had been _'going out'_ for three weeks already.

"She's had a hangover nearly every day since we started this scandal. Don't you think enough is enough?"

"What? No," she shook her head, still smiling to whoever might be watching. "And I think it's best if we don't speak on this."

He sighed, shaking his head incredulously at her.

"Boyfriends don't want to make their girlfriends upset, do they?" she batted her eyelashes at him, pressing her teeth lightly on her lower lip, covered in ruby lip gloss. His hold on her tightened as they turned the corner.

"No, Waldorf. They don't."

* * *

The atmosphere was thick and dark and consuming, and Chuck knew had been a mistake from the start.

"Blair, where are we?" his eyebrows narrowed, turning to her.

"Don't you know?" she quirked innocently.

"It's not Victrola," he insisted. She rolled her eyes.

"Well, obviously. I think I would remember that well enough." He didn't even smirk at the fond memory. "But it's something similar," she continued, offering a table up to him with her eyes. He sighed and followed in the direction she was looking.

"And we're here because?"

Her face shown pure amusement and he hated that these weeks had halted his perfect conclusions as to who she was and what she was doing. What she was thinking.

"Chuck Bass loves speakeasies, does he not?"

He said nothing, but his lips parted. He had a feeling he knew where this was going and he didn't want to be right. He had been uneasy at the start when his limo arrived just after they turned the second corner nearly half an hour ago. When the driver clarified with Blair on where they were going, Chuck didn't intervene but he was definitely suspicious. That mischievous smirk of hers as they slipped into the limo didn't make him feel any better.

"Blair," he warned.

"Waiter, drinks!" she called out to the man passing them. She smiled with a seductive air and the boy went off to fetch what she recited to him in a moment's notice. Chuck couldn't take his eyes off of her, and it wasn't in that good I-gotta-have-you-now or that I'm-so-in-love-with-you-I-can't-look-away gaze either. He was pissed. She was so fake and so unrealistic it made his stomach turn. He was ready at any moment to just abandon the plan all together and put her in a room with Serena so they could just hash out what had happened and fix it.

He'd make sure to lock the doors.

But two hours and too many drinks later, they were still there. Now Blair was dancing on the tables and nearly all the men were hollering at her frisky behavior. Chuck just stared on at her, watching her every move. Again, it is what not because he was turned on, though if there were no issues between him, her and Serena, he wouldn't have wasted time with the nonsense of sitting still in his seat. The thought occurred to him then that perhaps he could pull her down and drag her into a corner and force the truth out of her. It hadn't worked in the last few weeks and he wondered if it would even be worth it to risk something like that. But everything was so fake as is, he figured one more thing wouldn't bust her bubble too much. He was sick of all her lies, in public and in private. He had yet to see her cry even, or to hear one shred of remorse on losing her best friend. He wondered then who she would talk to. Maybe Dorota, he guessed. But that couldn't be the same. It wouldn't give her what she needed. Not in its entirety.

In one swift moment, he had caught her by her hips and dragged her down off the smooth surface of the bar. Some of the guys mourned her sudden departure but within moments they had their attention directed elsewhere. Chuck carried her over his shoulder with her kicking and screaming until they reached one of the darker, emptier corners of the room.

"You trying to prove something, Blair?"

She nearly spit on him in a fit of giggles. "What do you think, Chuck? I'm having fun!" she cheered, almost spinning in a circle. He sighed harshly, forcing his hands around her upper arms and nailing her to the wall.

"Ooo, someone's getting horny," she whispered seductively, leaning his face towards hers.

"Enough," he said, and she silenced herself—regardless of her drunken state. "What's going on?" he dropped his hands to his sides, ready to grab her if she tried to make her escape. She sighed dramatically.

"Don't you _know_, Chuck? The plan?" she asked, dramatically drawing out every syllable of her words. He scoffed, shaking his head.

"This is the plan?" he raised his eyebrows. "I sure wasn't informed."

"Aww, I forgot to tell you," she pouted, pushing at his shoulder a little. He twitched. Enough was enough.

"Something happened."

Her eyes narrowed. "Nothing you didn't see," her voice rose in pitch. She fingered her way up his arm to the base of his neck and landed her painted nails at the curve of his lips. He grasped her hand in his own and pulled it down.

"Blair."

She huffed, disappointed at his lack of playing around. Clearly he had not had enough to drink—or anything, that she remembered seeing. Her face relaxed into a serious expression and her eyes narrowed in on his own. He was seeking her depths so desperately and she hadn't let him truly see them for weeks, months if she was being honest.

"I don't have to tell you anything, Chuck."

He continued to search her eyes, waiting for more, knowing there was an ocean full of secret emotions just waiting to be seen.

"We're not friends. We're not anything," she spat, pulling her hand away from him. "You're just my fake-boyfriend and Serena is my enemy. Live with it."

She glared hard at him and stalked away. He would have gone after her but she wasn't going dancing or really anywhere. Not even the bathroom where she could gouge out all her sorrows. Just the general sitting area. She could even lie down and sleep there. Still, he wanted to go after her and he was about to until he was pulled to the side.

"Chuck."

"Penelope." He was surprised. He hadn't seen anyone else from school there, and then suddenly out of nowhere was one of the mean girls. She stepped closer to him.

"I haven't really seen you in awhile," she whispered, bringing her face dangerously close to his. He reared his face back, unable to take in the overwhelming scent of her perfume and intense minty breath. "Not just one on one I mean," she smiled, a seductive lure hanging off the edge of her silky lips.

"Yes, well, it's unfortunate we had to bump into each other again."

She frowned, her eyebrows furrowing.

"Now, if you'll excuse me?" he pulled roughly away from her, away from where her roving hands had started to drift over his body. He didn't even pay attention to her low cut neckline or the barely there bottom half of her dress. _She wasn't Blair and there were too many threatening issues spinning about everyone's heads, especially his own._ "I have to find my girlfriend."

* * *

"Nate?" Jenny asked, trying to keep her voice low. She rubbed her eyes and stared at the clock beside her. She squinted. "It's 3 am. What's going on?" she asked, confused.

"Yeah, look, I'm sorry to call you so late, but we really need to talk."

"Uh, ok," she said, sitting up on her bed and wrapping one of her smaller blankets around her thin frame.

"I don't think you should look farther into that letter."

"What?" she searched her mind, trying to remember.

"The letter…you showed me at the restaurant three weeks ago?"

"Oh, oh my god!" she gasped, trying again to not wake the whole house, especially not Dan sleeping in the next room over—only a garage door between them.

"What?" he asked, desperate to know what had suddenly caused her gasp.

"N-nothing," she said, shaking her head. "I just," she sighed, "I just had forgotten that's all."

Silence.

"Okay, well, I wasn't lying when I said I didn't know anything about it. But Serena is spiraling out of control. And Blair and Chuck together? It can only mean some sort of scheming towards her."

Jenny nodded slowly, trying to connect the dots.

"If you find out what's all behind the letter and expose it…"

"What?" she asked, so quiet he had to strain to hear her.

"It might send her off the edge."

Jenny gulped.

"I'm just saying. You're a good girl, Jenny. Don't do this to her."

Her eyes slid shut slowly. "Nate, look—I'm really tired," she yawned into the phone.

"Jenny," he groaned.

"Nate," she snapped. It surprised her just as much as it did him, and it suddenly occurred to her that this had become like an obsession for her. Everyone involved was losing it and staying outside of the issue was almost as bad as getting involved. She sighed. "I can't just let it drop."

"But—"

"No," she shook her head, fast. "I can't hide another secret," she was almost crying now. She didn't want to and she didn't understand why her eyes were beginning to water, but she blamed it on how late it was and that she had involved yet another person. She blamed it on getting involved, on finding that letter, on having another secret. It consumed her and she had never really voice it all at once. Even Nate didn't know the full context in which she spoke.

"Look, I know it's hard, but—"

"No," she ground out.

"Did you have anything to do with what been happening?" he asked carefully, softly.

"What?" she asked, exasperated, and nearly jumping from her bed.

"Did you show her the letter?"

She was gaping.

"Did she see you take it?"

"Nate!" she yelled to make him stop, doing it as very quietly as she could. "Stop! I didn't do any of this!"

He sighed harshly. "How can I know that Jenny? For all I know—"

"Stop, Nate, stop," she demanded. "I haven't done anything since I showed you the letter, and Serena didn't see me take it. No one else knows."

"No one?"

She huffed. "No one. And I don't know why it's such a big deal to you," she grumbled. "It's not like _you're_ intervening for Serena."

His eyebrows narrowed, but he said nothing. _She had a point._

"Why are you doing this?" he asked in desperation. She couldn't really pick up on it though. It was late—it was 3 am, and she was exhausted.

"You don't even know what I'm doing," she moaned. "No one does. No one knows about anything about me or what I'm going through or how hard this is!" She blinked away her tears, wondering how she had gotten so vulnerable so quickly. Again, she blamed it on the lateness—or rather early state—of the day.

Nate didn't speak, but she could hear him breathing in her ear.

"Why are you calling me so late?" she asked, softly, suddenly.

He gulped. "I was worried about her."

"And it took you three weeks to track me down again? Couldn't you have at least given me the decency of a good night's sleep?"

He sighed. "I know, I'm sorry," he ran a hand through his hair. "I just—"

She nodded, thinking to herself how he must have seen it. "We can talk tomorrow, Nate," she encouraged, hoping he would take the hint and let her finish sleeping. Though, the built up tears in her eyes and the intensity of his accusations and interrogating tone certainly was not going to go unnoticed by her. She even feared it would haunt her in her dreams. What a mess she was making of this all, and no one was even really involved. No one knew except Nate, and maybe Eric was suspicious, but that was it. She wasn't hurting anyone but herself, and maybe Dan for being so avoidant of him, for having to lie to the person she trusted the most. Nate was freaking out like she'd never imagined he could. She remembered when he kissed her at the Masquerade Ball the year before when he'd thought she was Serena…but it had been over a year. Certainly bygones were bygones.

Dial tone.

She brought the phone away from her face, looking at the screen that now informed her that a call had been dropped. When it beeped its cheery tune less than a minute later she just turned it off. She could blame it on how tired she was or the fact that she hadn't noticed and thought he had just hung up on her.

Sigh.

This was all getting so complicated, even in her head, and Nate was overly suspicious of her. If she didn't know any better, she'd think he still had feelings for Serena.

_"I'm not over you. I thought I could fight it, but I can't." _

Her head fell on her pillow and she tucked herself in all over again, hoping that she could find some sort of sleep in this madness. Stars faded into darkness behind her closed lids. Her thoughts faded and finally she drifted off.

* * *

A/N: YAY! *claps* lol. I hope you loved it! Please review! =D


	10. Holding It In

A/N: And here it is! I don't know how much I can really update my stories after this week…and through mid-January. XD *feels horrible about this* But I'll do the best I can! *happy noddage* And as I did with Halloween, there will definitely be a Thanksgiving oneshot. ;p I just hope you can accept if it's a week early! XD Review! =D

*I don't own "Gossip Girl", and yes I really should inform you all more often. Lol.

* * *

**Ch.10—Holding It In**

"Jenny."

"Eric!" she gasped, spinning around to face him sitting on a chair in the living room.

"Let me guess…looking for Serena?" he raised his eyebrows. She laughed a bit awkwardly and glanced at the floor momentarily before attempting to resolve herself.

"No one else is home?" she managed.

"Nope. Just me. Aren't you lucky," he said, moving past her towards the kitchen to fill up his water glass he had recently emptied. Jenny's face flushed red as soon as he passed her, and with a quick swallow she turned back around to him and followed the boy's shadow slowly to the kitchen.

"I'm actually looking for Chuck…"

Eric turned to face her. "Chuck," he said in disbelief.

"Yes, _Chuck_," she defended. "Is that so hard to believe?"

He scoffed. "Yes!"

She winced. "Okay, but _really_ I came to see him, is he here?" she asked after a few awkward moments. Eric sighed.

"So then you _weren't_ here to see, Serena before, am I right?"

Her eyes widened. _Hadn't he seen right through her?_

"You didn't _know_?" she gaped. He chuckled, walking back into the living room and taking a seat on one of the plush chairs. She followed after him and did the same.

"Well, yeah, I did. Though, in the future, if you're interrogated for anything _really_ important, it's probably best to be aware that your interrogators don't know all the answers."

A quiet guilty laugh escaped her and her eyes fluttered to the floor for a moment. "I'll keep that in mind," she said, running a hand through her long blonde locks, and looking at him again.

"So," he began again, "Why do you supposedly need to see Chuck?" he took a sip of the water from his cup. "He's with Blair practically all the time these days, or have you abandoned your phone?"

She laughed nervously again. It seemed that she was really bad at acting innocent. At least with particular subject she had involved herself in. Plus, Eric had gotten to know her pretty well. He could see when she wasn't being completely honest with him. Dan probably could too, and she wondered then if he was losing his game. He hadn't even really been aware of her skipping school or this last little lie she had told…three weeks ago. Abandoning her 'master plan' for the time being had kind of set her free and she wondered what she was really doing picking it back up again. Nate's call the night before had inspired her though. She couldn't really tell him nothing was going on between her and everything going on with Serena, because that wouldn't be the truth. But in order to tell him she would stop all that she was doing involving that love letter, she would probably have to tell him most of what had lead up to that. And that shouted a guilty, criminal Jenny like none other.

She sighed.

"Jenny?" Eric asked. His eyebrows were fused when she looked back at him. Apparently she had gotten lost in her thoughts. "What's going on?" he leaned forward in his chair.

"_Jenny? Is something wrong?" he leaned forward a bit as the silence grew. Her eyes flashed up to his._

"_Yeah," she blinked and shook her head briefly. "Maybe this was a mistake," she muttered, sinking back into her chair. Nate looked on in worry._

"_Jenny."_

_Her eyes zoomed back in on him._

"_You should tell me. You obviously feel like you can't tell anyone else, and I want you to tell someone you can trust, who can help you if you need it. Tell me," he encouraged, offering a small smile._

"I don't wanna involve you," she breathed, gulping. Her eyes were pinned to his face which was becoming more deathly serious by the second. But she couldn't tell him. She _couldn't_. Involving Nate had already caused too much chaos, and he didn't know half of what was going on, half of what she was involved in.

"I'm already _involved_. You coming over here first for Serena and now for Chuck? That's awfully suspicious. I mean, maybe not Serena, but Chuck definitely. You're not exactly involved in his…_crowd_."

"And his crowd _is_?" she quirked an eyebrow. She figured staring at the carpet wasn't doing much for her cover.

"Nate…Blair—"

"Blair?" she asked skeptically.

"When they're not fighting, yeah."

"And when are they _not_ fighting, Eric? When she was dating Nate?" Her mind flashed back to Nate and his angry rant at three in the morning that day. She had told him they would talk, and it was after school now and they hadn't seen each other all day. She supposed she should have tracked him down, but it was he who was so desperate to get some answers for her, so…if he really needed to he could find her. Besides his mention of Chuck and Blair's dating being completely fake inspired her to discover exactly what was going on between them. She didn't suppose Chuck would actually talk to _her_ about what was going on with him and Blair, but it was worth a shot.

Eric's face didn't change, but he kept peering at her facial expression, noticing the changes and deciding for himself that there was some serious conflict racing through her mind.

"Chuck and Blair have been friends for a long time," he leaned back in his chair again, folding his hands in his lap. "When they fell in love with each other, it got complicated."

Jenny pouted a bit. "So, they're _really_ dating? It's not fake?" Her eyebrows fused.

He chuckled. "Jee, you don't miss a beat, do you Jenny?"

She blushed a little. He leaned forward again.

"I told you not to assume your interrogator knew everything."

She smiled a bit. "Alright, Eric. Tell me. Are they really dating? Or is it a scheme on Blair's end to get back at Serena for unintentionally dethroning her as queen at _Constance_?" she quirked an eyebrow.

He grinned. "Chuck goes out with Blair almost every night, and every night he does he comes home depressed and drinks an extra couple shots of scotch."

Her lips parted.

"Do you think that'd be the case if they were for real?"

"But," her eyebrows fused again, "Wouldn't he just go back to his suite if he didn't want anyone to…know?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes I think he gets confused," he winked and her lips formed a wide, bright smile. "Come on, I'll tell you more in my room. Just in case someone comes home. We wouldn't want to look suspicious." She rolled her eyes and stood up with him, following his confident figure up the stairs and to his bedroom.

* * *

His eyes hovered over her name on the screen of his cell phone in his contacts list. He gulped. He hadn't talked to Jenny. He needed to talk to Jenny. Though, as tired as she had been when he had called her early that morning, he knew she had been telling the truth in every aspect of the word. She had forgotten about the scandal she might be unleashing, and probably didn't know any more than she had already let on. Still, Serena was spiraling and Jenny was right. He _hadn't_ intervened. He hadn't even really talked to Serena since those last couple weeks before school started. Even then there hadn't been much interacting between them. And whether she was falling apart because of Blair or because of _him_ or _both_ didn't entirely matter. She was falling apart and he hadn't even _tried_ to help in the situation.

His phone rang, and his eyes zeroed in on the name blaring across his screen, and widened.

**SERENA CALLING.**

He gulped, only for half a second before answering the phone in his realization that it would only ring so many times.

"Serena, hey!"

"Natie…" she drawled in a sort of sing-song voice. He closed his eyes slowly in frustration. _She was drunk. _And it was almost appalling since according to his watch, his cell phone, and the clock in his wall it wasn't even six o'clock yet, was hardly past four thirty. _Was this how she spent every waking moment now?_

"Serena," he said a little more seriously, sighing.

"Nate, what's wrong?" she pouted on the other line. "Are you sad?" she giggled, and he shook his head. She was nowhere near the right place to be talking seriously.

"Where are y—"

"You know, we haven't talked in forever!" her voice rose in pitch and he backed away from the phone momentarily, guessing it would be best if he just answered in mumbled responses and barely half-words.

"Yeah…"

"Since Blair's back-to-school party?" her eyebrows crinkled, wondering in her dizzy state if that's really what the event had been called.

"Yeah," he began, suddenly remembering how he had seen her go off with Dan into the elevator all giggly and happy, then had seen her after the lights had come back on…sad and depressed.

She sighed dramatically. "How come?" she asked, in a quiet voice. He thought she sounded every bit the cute little playmate he had grown up with, the one who was about to cry when her doll had gotten ripped away but then was completely bright-eyed and enthused by the sight of a sunflower a little ways off.

"Where are you?" he asked, when the silence had lasted a significant amount of time and he figured it was safe to answer in more than one or two words. He heard her yawn, and restrained the sigh seeping through his closed lips.

"Hmm?" she asked, almost in full consciousness to his question. His eyes searched the empty space in front of him. All he could think about these last few weeks was her and if she was okay, if it was really anything to worry himself over or if it was just _Gossip Girl_ and her rumors.

"Where are you?" he repeated, figuring now was not the best time to bring up any serious topics. She would have forgotten by the moment, and he was so concerned in worry for her that he couldn't let his curiosity over what the heck they were take over his system.

"I'm…lost," she giggled, and he could imagine just how her fingers would dance on the edge of her bottom lip.

His lips pursed. The statement was all too true for both of them he guessed, especially in regards to their possibly romantic relationship, or lack thereof.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

His eyebrows furrowed and he found himself at a loss for words.

"Nate?"

She didn't even sound drunk anymore, and he wondered for a second if he had imagined her whole spiral to begin with and this was just a conversation to catch up on the last month or so that they had lost touch.

"Uh, I—I'm here," he stuttered over his words and she didn't even giggle. Something was up. Something _had_ to be.

She sighed and burst into giggles that transferred into crying and then she burped—small but still very evident. He shook his head. It had been a mere breath of sanity. He recalled a time or two when she had been right in front of him and drunk and asking the most serious things and you honestly thought maybe she was drifting out of drunkenness. Her facial expressions always gave it away though, and now he had to decipher how she really was without that helpful tool guiding him. _It used to be so easy._ But somehow they had gotten lost in the last six months…they had lost each other.

"Serena, please just _tell_ me where you are." He was more demanding this time around, and he definitely didn't want to be. He hated talking harsh to her. But he needed to find out where she was. If she was really as tipsy as she sounded over the phone, he needed to find her and get her out of there.

"Victrola…" she sighed contently, and he could hear her as she nearly fell off the barstool she was no doubt on and some guy steadied her back to the position she had been in. She mumbled a bit in way of gratitude again and then he heard her steady, but giggly sigh draining back into the phone.

"Victrola?" he asked confused, "And Chuck isn't there?" If he had been, Nate was pretty sure he wouldn't let Serena get to the state she was at—he had been rescuing her every day she got herself wasted in the last three weeks and it was an even more painful reminder that _he_ hadn't jumped in to help her as well.

"Not that I saw…" she mumbled, "I brought the girls here so Penelope could seduce Chuck, since I guess he wasn't here yesterday either, but…" she exhaled, for a considerably long time.

"Serena?"

"They left," she confirmed. He sighed.

"Stay put," he said, and her eyebrows furrowed.

"Are you leaving me?" her eyes watered.

"No, never. Just stay put. I'm…coming to see you."

"Oh, yay!" she cheered.

_**Click. **_

Ten minutes later he was in a cab, informing the driver of his immediate destination. He had been out of her life for too long, even if it had been only a month, and he was going to change that.

* * *

Seven o' clock.

Blair glared at her alarm clock, draping a soft headband over its numbers. Everything had been so stressful this last month. Everything with Chuck and Serena and living the artificial Blair. Usually when she was being fake and pretending everything was perfect there was at least one person she could go to, be it Chuck or Serena or whoever else, and that person made it all better and like she didn't have to be fake anymore. At least not with them. Well, there was none of that. She had blocked her feelings for Chuck away because if she actually left herself feel for him again, she would be even more crushed when he tossed her away as soon as things were back to normal with her and Serena. It almost gave her motivation to avoid Serena all together. Chuck was clearly frustrated by her fake demeanor, but at least she had him on some sort of leash until this was all over. Now she didn't know if she really wanted it to be over or not. She may have not really been showing it on the outside but on the inside she was bursting with warmth and butterflies whenever he wrapped his arm around her waist or kissed her the sake of a far-off camera phone.

She sighed.

Waking up that morning with a temperature of 101.4 and an overwhelming nauseous feeling had not been a part of the plan. Neither had been the intense dizziness when she tried to walk from her bed to the bathroom in order to purge her dinner from the night before, not that she had really eaten that much anyways. She had been eating even less than usual, and that very well could have been the cause too. That and probably the hangover she had gotten from last night's drunken fest. She hated that Chuck had started to see through her. It made her cry that he might be figuring her out after all these weeks. Then he would want to be rid of her sooner. She was just lucky he had bought into her need for him to dispose of his call girls for the sake of their agreement. Every time before that she had to fight back the tears of thinking who he had been screwing the night before. Now she could at least partially believe herself when Gossip Girl had boasted of his continuous faithfulness and proof of it too. Luckily for her, half the girls who had sent tips to Gossip Girl about their days outside and being all cutesy had been set up by Blair herself. After all, you can't count on these girls to always be where you're at with your fake boyfriend when you were at where you planned to be. Even they didn't know it was a fake relationship though, and Blair really wished it wasn't. But she had already risked too much. She had slept with him again, she had confessed she loved him and he didn't say or do anything in return. Just like before. So this was what she resorted to: her fake, snide self—the self without Serena and Chuck in the genuine flesh, heart and soul. At least when she had one of them—which she usually always did—she didn't have to be so…not herself. Not all the time.

Apparently her body hated her for this transformation though. She grumbled, holding her hand tight against her stomach, begging for the pain to go away. Sounds erupted from the skin beneath her hand and she grumbled. Her stomach was awfully hungry for a body part that insisted on throwing up after even a hint of a crumb, even water was sketchy.

"Well, well, Waldorf, it appears you're actually sick."

She exhaled for a long time, knowing full well who that voice belonged to. There, looking as smug as the Basstard everyone knew him to be, was Chuck Bass, soup, Advil and jewelry in hand. He smirked, laying the items on the first flat surface he found on way to her bed. She whined, turning to face the other direction.

"Go away, Bass, I don't want you here," she coughed.

He continued to smirk. "Now, now, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't keep my sick girlfriend company?"

She huffed, sitting up in her bed suddenly and though doing nothing about it, was now very aware of how messy her hair must look and how much she didn't want Chuck Bass to see it.

"Dorota!" she called, her voice hoarse. Apparently throughout the day she had developed a cold too. _Maybe it wasn't just a hangover_. "Mr. Chuck," she mocked her maid's title for the boy before her, "won't leave!" she shouted.

Chuck took another couple steps towards her, and in a rush she pulled the blankets higher up around her. "I sent her out. There's nobody here."

Blair gaped. "You, what?" she whispered incredulously.

He smirked and walked the remaining distance to her bed, sitting about three-fourths of the way down. "I gave her a list of your most desired birthday gifts. There wasn't even a second look before she was bustling out the door."

She was still gaping, rather irritated at that constant smug smirk on his face. "Of course, I also offered to take care of you," he leaned towards her, but she pushed him away, scoffing as she did. "She wanted you in good hands, with you being sick and all." He winked.

She coughed, reaching for a tissue and sneezing into it. _God, this is so embarrassing._ He reached for an additional tissue and offered it to her, but she refused it. Only taking it from him when a sneeze seemed inevitably approaching. She sighed, agonizingly, once her sneezes had completed themselves, and slouched against the wall her bed was up against.

"Go home, Bass," she said, nasally.

He shook his head at her. "Not until we come to an agreement."

Her tired, weary, almost red eyes slowly made their way to his. "What about?" She was hardly in the mood for puffing up her fake, 'in-charge' demeanor and she knew he could tell. She cursed herself for being so vulnerable at this moment because that probably meant he would hold this against her and demand she not be so fake, at least around him, and she couldn't give that up.

"Before you say anything—" she sniffled as his lips parted in preparation of speech. Her raised his eyebrows. "I want you to know that whatever I say tonight can be taken back in the near future."

He sighed, and shook his head at her. "I'm going to ignore that," he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"What, _then_, Bass?"

"You need to stop being such a fake bitch," he spat, and she was taken aback by his sudden shift in attitude and tone of voice.

"What?" she asked, incredulously. She sat up against the wall again. _He had no right to talk this way to her. She was sick!_

"You know what I'm referring to, and unless you alter the deal to make it somewhat enjoyable for me, then I'm out. You've got nothing hanging over my head and I can just as easily build Serena's reign back up so it's just about impossible for you to take back."

"I'm not sleeping with y—"

"I didn't say anything about sex, though…if the opportunity presents itself—"

"Chuck."

He rolled his eyes. "I just want you to be real with me, Blair. It's _me_. Not Nate or your superficial minions." Her heart warmed at his stating of the minions being _hers_ and not Serena's, but a sharp pain shot through her at his pleading for her discarding of the mask she had built up so well.

Panic.

Her eyes narrowed though and she coughed. "Fine," she sniffed. His eyes stayed pinned to her and it made her feel even worse. This day could not _get_ any worse. Now she would lose him for sure, and much sooner than she had hoped. A breath caught in her throat, but for some reason he could not speak. He had gotten what he wanted out of her, and regardless of her prior statement he knew she would keep this admission. He just didn't think it would come so easily. He didn't think the first vulnerable moment he'd walked in on in weeks would end so well on his part, not at first at least.

"Now go," she demanded, barely holding in her tears, barely holding herself together. The whole sick factor was not making matters any better.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off and looked away towards the window.

"You got what you came for. I'm sure Gossip Girl will find this allotted time more than enough to prove yourself a faithful boyfriend," she spat, nasally voice accommodating her speech. He could not even laugh. He saw those tears she was holding back. She wasn't even letting him in all the way and it wasn't _just_ the sickness that had gotten her so emotional. Something _had_ happened the night before, and something _was_ happening now. But staying here and trying to figure it out would not help anything. If anything it would make matters worse. So, slowly he stood to his feet and backed away to the door. Just before leaving he turned back to her.

"I'll call Dorota. Tell her to come back."

Blair nodded softly, unsteadily continuing to breathe. It was all killing him so much but he left the room and closed the door, calling Dorota on the way out.

* * *

"Jenny."

"Dan!" she said in surprise, closing her laptop immediately and pushing it off to the side. He zoned in on it before registering his eyes back on her face. He was dead serious and he knew something and he knew she knew something he didn't. And he knew she had lied.

She gulped.

"That laptop was open and you were working on it and you pushed it away just like you did now…three weeks ago, and then the week before that. What's going on Jen?" he asked, taking a step closer to her and settling uneasily on the edge of her bed.

"Dan, there _is_ a such thing as facebook and homework," she avoided his gaze, trying to bring humor into her response with a lazy gesture of her hand.

"That's not it. You lied to me." He walked the rest of the distance towards her and sat on her bed. "What's going on?"

"Dan—" her eyebrows fused. This had come out of nowhere. Sure, she was guilty, but where were _his_ sources coming from? Were they even _legitimate_?

"Show me what's on that laptop."

She reached for it and hugged it close to your chest. "I don't have to show you anything. Besides there's nothing suspicious on here."

"Really?" he asked. He was not only skeptical but now she was certain he knew something she didn't…by someone she wasn't aware of. "So, if I looked at whatever you're working on showing on your computer screen, it wouldn't have anything to do with Nate and Serena?"

Her eyes widened, and he scoffed, standing to his feet and making to leave her room.

"That's all the proof I need."

"No, no, no, Dan! You don't understand! I didn't even say anything!" she nearly shrieked, stopping him before he could leave. He sighed harshly.

"Jenny—"

"Dan."

He pursed his lips and then opened them in way of explaining himself. "I saw the letter."

Her eyebrows narrowed and she folded her arms across her chest. "The letter."

"The letter," he repeated. "From Serena to Nate on the day I told her I loved her."

"You went digging through my stuff?" she asked incredulously.

"I didn't have to, it was right out in the open!"

"What?"

He rolled his eyes and pointed to where it now lie on top of her dresser. "I came in to see if you were here the other day so we could go out for ice-cream and talk about whatever, since things seemed to be calming down, at least between us and at school, for the most part, not regarding Serena…"

She listened as she walked slowly towards her dresser and spotted the letter that she had safely tucked away in the midst of her clothes three drawers down. "You wanted an escape," she said, her voice far-off.

"Well, that too," he shrugged. "I guess things really aren't super great again, just not tense with you and me…_I thought_." He was growing angry again until she turned around.

"No, that's not what I meant," her voice strained itself. His eyebrows morphed a different degree. He was confused now until she offered up the unfolded pages of the letter before her. "I never opened this, Dan. _You_ did."

He looked down at the pages before her and was close to touching it when she pulled it away, folded it and tucked it back into the depths of her drawers. "You wanted an escape," she murmured, repeating the words from just a few moments ago.

"Jenny…" he took a step towards her, hesitant as to what he could even say that would redeem his place in the conversation. Sure, she was doing something behind his back, but he should never have invaded her privacy—not like this.

"That's what I saw just now, glancing at the top of the page of what you most likely read thoroughly," she spun towards him. "Why would you go through my stuff?"

"It was out in the open, I said!"

"And so naturally you felt the need to take it and read it through," she scoffed. He shook his head.

"No, no, Jenny, that's not what it was like," he said.

"Have you told anyone?" she raised her eyebrows. "About the letter?"

His mouth snapped shut and she felt like she wanted to scream. She had been trying so hard to keep this away from everybody. She thought Nate should know since he was just as involved as Serena most likely, but Dan? She had been trying to protect him from this madness! From these hidden feelings! Now the day he thought he'd remember fondly forever would be tainted by marks of his previously current girlfriend being in love with the guy he'd thought he'd won her from.

"Nate needed to know," he insisted. His eyes fell into the deepest dark brown she'd seen and her own were set ablaze.

"I already talked to him. He said he didn't know anything about it—"

"And then he called at three in the morning last night."

Thick, hazy silence fell between them and neither could speak. Neither could move either and it was only the ringing of Jenny's phone that snapped them out of their daze. Jenny turned to where the noise was coming from and followed after it, picking her phone up on instant.

"Hello?" she sighed, "Yeah, dad, Dan and I are both home and doing are homework," she forced a smile into her voice and in moments she was off the phone. When she turned back around her brother had almost reached her computer and once again she sprung to him before he could get to close.

"What's on it, Jen?" he demanded, more than a little suspicious now.

"Nothing," her eyes narrowed.

"So, you're not scheming anything? No plots? No nothing?"

"Nothing."

He sighed, shaking his head and looking to the floor, if only for a moment. "Somehow I feel like you're not telling the truth." He looked at her hard in those fiery blue eyes and turned away, slamming the door behind him. Jenny's eyes shut slowly and with shaky hands she fell back onto her bed. He shouldn't have gone through her stuff, but she was so positive she hadn't left it out in the open. After all, that was how Serena got her letter stolen to begin with.

She groaned stretching out across her covered mattress. It didn't all have to be a secret, did it? Couldn't she just hope for the best…that Serena and Blair would work things out, and she could somehow slide that letter back under Serena's bed and forget it had happened at all?

No. Serena and Blair were still fighting, and still spiraling, both of them—in one way or another—and it wasn't getting any better.

Serena's letter was no longer known just to her, but to Nate and Dan now. Even Eric was skeptical to her random occurrences at his house and the probably unintentional hints she had thrown him earlier in the day.

It was too late to put away this secret.

_"If you wanna be part of this world, Jenny, people will talk. Eventually. And you need to decide if all this? …is worth it."_

* * *

A/N: REVIEW!


	11. Two Sided Coin

A/N: I'm super pissed at myself for not being able to update anything in like2 or 3 days. Ridiculous. And the sad part is I'm not even joking. *shakes head* Well, anyways, episode's tonight. Yay. I'm really going to try and get this fic done by Thanksgiving, though it probably won't happen, but I'm definitely going to make it happen before all our clocks strike 2010. Please review.

* * *

**Ch.11—Two-Sided Coin**

He supposed he should have expected it sooner or later. Over a month and the two of them hadn't had a single conversation. There had been glares and stares challenging the impossible, but not conversation—especially not any _civil_ conversation.

But now here they were. The middle of the courtyard. Serena – mob of mean girls behind her – Blair, with nothing to aid her in the battle of wits, except for her boyfriend, Chuck, leaning up against the brick wall just a few feet away. If at any moment Blair appeared to be crumbling, he would come to her aid. Nobody messed with Blair Waldorf on his account, and vice versa.

"Well, well, well, look who it is girls. It's Blair, the exiled forgotten Queen Bee of _Constance_." Serena's smile was thick and smug and her eyes glinted a taste of evil. _It didn't fit her_, Chuck knew.

Blair held her stance though, leaving only her lips to purse and her eyes to narrow. "I'm not _forgotten_," she took a step towards the bitchy blonde _trying_ to make her way in the world. "If you'll notice, I'm still on Gossip Girl." A hint of a smile quirked its way to the corner of her lips.

"Yeah, with _Chuck Bass_, your _boyfriend_," she rolled her eyes. "Face it Blair, he's a player, and one of these days he's gonna play you." Now she took a step towards her opponent.

"At least I _have_ a boyfriend. You lost Brooklyn, and you can't sink much lower than that."

"I—I—"

"Y-you, what?" she tormented, "You _have_ a boyfriend and he just broke into a million pieces and switched genders around you?" The mean girls glared at her, trying to hold back their gaping mouths and their desired scoffs. They were most certainly _not_ Serena's boyfriend.

The blonde actually seemed to be losing touch with her mean self, but when she spotted Chuck behind them, looking to see what would happen between both her and her ex-best friend. A smirk slid onto her lips and she took one final step towards Blair. "I'm on Gossip Girl too, and you wanna know _why_?" Blair blinked, tempted to turn back to Chuck in search of a way out.

Serena's smirk widened, when finally Blair tuned in.

"Yeah, because you were drunk off your ass every night of the week, and even my minions wouldn't stay around to aid you," she gestured at them. Serena scoffed.

"_Your_ minions? Really? Last time I checked, they were mine."

Blair was about to speak again, when Serena cut her off.

"And I may have been 'drunk off my ass' as you put it, but you know who rescued me? Chuck Bass. _Your_ Chuck Bass. And if you put the number together of how many nights I was out wasted and this happen, well," she shrugged, dismissing the fact that she had inadvertently insulted herself, "it seems he's spending more time with me than with you." She smiled brightly.

A frown fell onto Blair Waldorf's lips. "H-he was just feeling sorry for you," she stuttered, hardly believing she had crumbled so early in the game, and by some mystery Serena's smile widened.

"Looking at our positions, _B_," she mocked, "it's quite obvious that your pathetic, low self-esteem, poor excuse for a human being…self, was his charity case. Not mine."

Blair's mouth slowly came to a close, and her feet slid back by an inch or two. Serena's eyes were twinkling and she hardly realized when the blurred body moved to stand between both her and her most recent defeated victim. The brunette would have nearly crumbled right then and there, but the boy who had just moved past her had placed a brief strong gentle hand on her arm to keep her from falling, and it gave her just enough energy to finish this stance with her enemy.

"Really, Serena?" Chuck asked, disgusted. "You would sink that low?"

"Chuck," she cooed, stroking a couple fingertips along the edges of his jacket. He backed off immediately.

"If I hadn't gotten you—"

"I'd call it a rescue, really—"

"—and brought you back, you'd be in a hospital right now. You really think these minions actually care about you? Think again. You have no friends right now—"

"I have _Nate_!" she declared, and he almost grinned for the sudden vulnerability he heard in her voice—as small as it was. He scoffed.

"And where is _Knight in Shining Armor_, hmm?"

Her lips pursed and her teeth ground against each other. Her eyes narrowed.

"No answer?" he taunted, waiting a few more seconds.

"He saved me last week, Chuck. Not you."

He shook his head at her, and pulled the strap for his bag farther up his shoulder. Then he turned to Blair and reached for her hand, which she grabbed onto instantly, clutching to it like a lifeline. She took some steps towards him, hiding herself in his shadow and finding warmth in the nearness of him. She had regained her strength, but that didn't mean she was ready to face the heartless monster that had replaced her best friend.

Just before Chuck walked off with Blair, he turned back to Serena who was starting to believe she had won the battle all together.

"Maybe that's because I gave up on you, Serena. You're the low-life here, not Blair."

The blonde was taken aback by his words, but the hurt expression vanished from her face less than a moment later with a '_Come on, girls'_ and a stalk towards the Met steps. The two brunettes left shortly before Serena could have even blinked, and once inside and to an unused classroom, Blair broke down. She cried into Chuck's jacket and he held her close. He locked the door, and pulled the shade over the window at the top of the door. Amongst the desks, they wandered to near the center of the room.

"That's _not_ Serena. That's _not_, that's _not_."

He understood the muffled cries and nodded his head in agreement and understanding. "You're right. It's not."

She backed away suddenly, rubbing at her puffy face and tired eyes. _I'm not weak. I'm not anything she said I am. I'm Blair Waldorf. I'm queen, not her. Not ever her._

His eyebrows fused in her actions, but he knew the thoughts running through her head and the soon denial at the positivity she was trying to build up for herself.

"I'm weak," she said.

"No, you're not." He took a step towards her, desperate for their closeness. She had felt empty and cold without it. He had felt…not _whole_.

"I'm everything she said I am," she whimpered.

"_Never_. Nothing," he insisted, taking her hands in his own. And for all the trust they had built up in the last week, she snapped her hands free from his grasp and turned away. He said nothing, and just waited. She swallowed hard, and then turned back around to face him. He wiped away a stray tear dripping down the side of her face.

"I'm not weak," she shook her head softly.

"You're not," he confirmed, and she was hesitant, but took that final step towards him and he enveloped her in his arms. She tucked herself in the crevice and warmth of his body and he held her there. He felt her relax and relished in the relieved exhale that came from inside her.

"There's something else isn't there?"

She tensed, and he almost regretted the question, but it had to be asked. It'd been on his mind for over a week now.

She gave a small nod.

"Those words…that Serena said to you…just now in the courtyard…"

She gulped.

"You've heard them before."

Her eyes closed and he could feel the drops of wetness staining his shirt.

"Where?" he asked. Everywhere she had been, he had been. Serena and Blair hadn't spoken until now.

"On my phone. Through text, through calls, through voice messages…"

His eyes closed in agony for her. "Why didn't you just delete them all? Before opening them I mean," he whispered against her, and he felt the quiet sigh.

"I thought it'd be different," she mumbled.

"It will. Soon."

She shook her head. "Yes," he whispered, and her head slowed as he drew small circles on her back. "They're not true, Blair."

She was silent. No movement. No sigh.

"They're _not_."

Still, she said nothing.

After a minute or so, she raised her head to look into his eyes, those eyes that were searching the depths of her own, just aching for the sign that would show him she was alright. That she understood his soothing words. Her gaze lowered to his lips. _He was so close._

She leaned forward and kissed him.

* * *

The young, petite blonde strolled out of Constance after class let out and moved across the courtyard. Nate caught up with her and pulled her subtly towards the direction of his limo.

"Jenny, we have to talk."

"Yeah, I'm getting that feeling," she said, stopping as they reached the sidewalk. He turned to her. She waited for a moment then raised her eyebrows. "Well, Nate, what is it?" she prompted. He sighed.

"I think Dan knows."

She rolled her eyes, walking a bit farther down the sidewalk so no one would hear her. He walked quickly after her, thinking she was trying to escape the conversation. "Jenny! Wait!"

"Calm down, Nate," she said, coming to a halt. "I just didn't want the rest of the school getting suspicious." His face appeared relieved. "But honestly, I don't think it's really a big deal anymore."

"What?" he asked, a restrained anger beginning to build. "It's _huge_! Jenny…"

She shook her head, finding his demeanor ridiculous. "Look, I thought it was a huge deal too, but…it's not like either of you were cheating on anybody. And besides, it's been a year, Nate. Don't you think—?"

"But Dan knows," he pressed, feeling this would cause some sort of jolt within her.

She pursed her lips. "I know he knows, Nate. He told me that he told you about it."

His eyebrows fused. "Well, it was clearly just to threaten you. He didn't tell me anything about that letter."

"He found the letter in my room and…" she sighed, "read it." It was becoming overwhelming knowing that _both_ Serena _and_ Dan were turning against their natural selves.

"Wait, he _read_ it?" Nate asked, fighting hard against the bubbling anger inside him. "Why would you let hi—?"

"I didn't let him do anything!" her eyes widened at the accusation. "He's been suspicious of me lately," she shook her head, looking away, "and I don't blame him. I've done an awful lot of work on this letter, but I've decided to stop and just not get involved anymore."

He scoffed. "You can't just cut yourself off like that. Blair and Serena are—"

"They'll work it out, Nate," she insisted, though her tone was weak at best. He looked at her skeptically. "Okay, I know it doesn't appear hopeful in the least, but…"

"But?"

"Well, haven't they _always_ worked everything out? Even after you _slept_ with _Serena_?"

He nodded, cringing at the memory.

"Then, they'll work things out," she tried for a smile but could only push a sympathetic almost hope onto her face. He looked at her doubtfully.

"It's different this time."

"How so?" she asked, skeptically.

"Both Blair's friendship with Blair and her position as queen have been ripped away. It's not one or the other, it's both. And if it keeps up, I'm guessing Serena's going to go after Chuck next."

Jenny's eyebrows fused. "Why would she do that?"

"She's not herself," his voice lowered. "And you were going to change that, weren't you?" She didn't know how he had suddenly figured out the generalities of what she had been doing and for what reasons, though obviously those were not entirely clear in his head. Her eyes searched his and she just wanted to escape. This had gotten far too out of hand and she had gotten in way too deep. _Would Nate not even let her drop the plan all together? Wasn't it better for her to stay out of things?_

"Is that why you're not going after her?" she pressed.

He looked taken aback.

"She's single. You're single. Unless you still have feelings for Vanessa, this is the only thing that makes sense." He opened his mouth to talk, but she wasn't finished. "I saw what happened on Gossip Girl. Is it true that it was actually you that rescued her from her drinking woes last week instead of Chuck?" she raised an eyebrow.

He sighed, and then nodded subtly. She figured that single nod answered all of her questions, and she was right. He said nothing more. "I'll handle Dan," she said. "He's the only other one that knows, of the two of you, and unless he told someone else, I think the 'secret' is pretty safe with us three. As far as Serena goes," she shrugged, "the ball's in your court."

He watched her until she turned the corner, and he hated how right she was.

_Blair was safely tucked away amongst her pillows and blankets. Her tear-stained face was all but dry and smooth now, and her woes fell away for at least that night. Serena watched as her best friend breathed evenly beside her, having only fallen into slumber moments ago. She didn't know how she was going to fix Blair Waldorf, or how she was going to fix anything or anybody in that situation, but baby steps were the key and this was definitely step one._

_ She would ask her softly later, in the morning, or in a day or two what had all happened. Had she really had feelings for Chuck? How did Nate react? How did Chuck react? Something must have made her snap at her the way that she did. _

_ Blair moaned softly in her sleep and simultaneously Serena's phone went off. Her eyes widened as she fished for her room and slowly, as to avoid the brunette's abrupt waking up, she rose from the bed and shifted into the hallway._

_ "Hello?" she whispered. She hadn't had time to look at who was calling. She had answered as soon as possible so the ring wouldn't wake poor Blair in her sleep._

_ "Serena."_

_ Her face fell. This was the last thing she needed._

_ "Nate? Why are you calling?"_

_ He sighed._

_ "Please tell me you called to say you've forgiven Blair." Her tone was serious and almost demanding and it alarmed him, since she had practically been confessing her love to him hours earlier._

_ "What? No! What she did is…"_

_ Serena scoffed, sighing afterwards._

_ "You're with her?"_

_ She nodded. "Yes, Nate. Because of you and your good-for-nothing best fr—"_

_ "__**Ex**__-best friend," he emphasized._

_ "Whatever. Because of the two of you, she almost left on a plane to go to France for boarding school."_

_ He scoffed. "You sure you didn't have anything to do with that?" he raised an eyebrow._

_ "What?!" she asked incredulously. "How can you even say that?"_

_ "Didn't __**you**__ leave for boarding school when things got bad?"_

_ She gulped, and then sighed, not wanting to bring up __**that**__ subject again. She still felt the welts of red embarrassment heating her face from earlier in the day._

_ "What do you want, Nate? Why did you call?" _

_ He was silent, and then his lips parted in way of preparing himself. _

_ "Nate?" she asked again, and he knew he could no longer delay._

_ "I'm not over you," he said, "I thought I could fight it but I can't." The words were familiar to him, but Serena had not properly heard them and he felt that she needed to._

_ Serena bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "It's been two hours, Nate. Maybe a little longer. You just broke up with Blair and today Dan told me he loves me…"_

_ "Serena."_

_ "And I feel the same way."_

_ "Serena."_

_ "What?"_

_ "Stop making excuses."_

_** Dial tone.**_

_ She couldn't respond to his request. She didn't have a good answer. She could honestly say right then that she was in love with both of them, both Dan and Nate. She had started dating Dan at first to keep from making Nate cheat on Blair again. With his restraint, she knew the idea would not have been impossible. But now she loved both of them, and she had to ignore her feelings for Nate again. Because she was in a relationship with Dan, and Blair may not have been dating Nate at the moment, but he'd come around she was sure. He always came around. It was __**Blair**__. It was always Nate and Blair._

* * *

The day had been long and she made sure to come home early, much earlier than normal even, in order to avoid her mother and possibly Bart's skeptical stare. What she hadn't anticipated was her younger brother being home. She almost was decided on talking to Chuck about what happened earlier in the day, so they could be on good terms again. It wasn't that she was super close with Chuck or anything, but he had helped her a lot over the past months, and whether she was supposed to be angry and a bitch to Blair or not, she couldn't afford to have both brunettes against her. Even if they _were_ dating.

"Serena," he said, approaching her as she walked down the hallway to her room. "You're home surprisingly early."

"Eric!" she exclaimed in shock. "I didn't know you'd be home."

He smirked, sensing her panic mode when he saw it. "Yeah, school was out almost an hour ago. It doesn't take that long to get home."

She smiled at him. She had forgotten.

"Well, good to see ya," she pointed in his direction in a bit of a wink-nod and it scared the heck out of him. On moving to her room, he grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her into his room.

"Here," he said, gesturing to the bed for them to sit on, "How about we talk."

She was extremely tentative but she still moved to the bed after him and sat down on it. She had always been able to tell Eric anything and everything and now should not be any different. She had just become so closed off and mean to everybody. She didn't want to be with Eric. But it almost felt like disappearing memory…the Serena she had grown up to be, the Serena that wasn't drunk and hung-over and mad at Blair.

"I don't know if this is a good idea…"

"It is."

She smiled a bit. He was way too good for her.

"I don't think…" she shook her head a little, slowly.

"I know."

She sighed. "Okay, Eric, what did you want to talk about?"

He smirked, proud to have won, though hardly expecting otherwise. He knew his sister _very_ well. "What happened?"

She blinked. _What happened? How far back were we talking?_

"What do you…mean?"

"You know what I mean. You and Blair have been fighting for months. Somehow you've become the queen at school, crushing your once best friend so she's dirt in the ground? And besides that, your track record of being clean and sober has officially crashed and burned in the last month and a half! What's going on?"

Her eyes flared wide at his interrogating questions. It was almost too forceful, too loud and dramatic for her little brother, Eric. She sighed. She couldn't be Queen S at home. She just…couldn't. She needed a haven of relief and this was it. No matter when she was here, she had to take down the mask. Especially in front of Eric.

Her lips pursed, and she knew right then that if Chuck were going to come home while she was aware of it, she would talk to him about earlier. At least tonight. An eerie feeling ran through her when she realized the very realistic possibility that she would contradict any of the morals and honest spoken words she portrayed that night through actions at school the very next day.

"Well, I actually think it started with Chuck trying to mess with Blair."

Eric raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

He would hardly believe her if she told him exactly how all of this dramatic horror had taken place, what had instigated it all. Strangely enough, he believed every word that came from her mouth and even found some of it humorous.

Before he could even respond though, Serena saw a blur with brown hair passing by Eric's room and she sprang to her feet and out into the hallway.

"Chuck!" she called, following after him into his room. She was desperate, almost a little guilty in seeing him, and quite possibly expecting a pervy comment from her step-brother. It was as if in those few seconds she had forgotten about the last month of terror and it was just _Serena_ and _Chuck_ having an almost fun/helpful conversation.

"Serena," he said neutrally.

She gulped, and was now suddenly very aware of the current situation. "Chuck," she sighed, walking towards him. He stopped thumbing his way through the shirts in his closet and turned to her, his eyebrows dangerously narrowed. But he said nothing.

"I was hoping we could…talk…" she said, awkwardly working her way further into his room.

"Oh, _talk_?" he asked, surprisingly cheery, but he was mocking her she knew and so held her stance. Moving at all seemed like a bad idea. He went to sit on his bed and allowed his eyes to scan her figure, disgusted in the nice almost vulnerable blonde before him. She was the polar opposite of the bitch he had had to deal with earlier in the day. "Sure, S, what'd you want to talk about?"

She cleared her throat and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I didn't mean to get you involved earlier today."

His expression remained unchanged.

"I just…couldn't let….couldn't…I wasn't…"

He had raised his eyebrows when she looked at him again. Her mind was racing and her eyes had drifted all over the room. She had had no game plan on what she was going to do after catching up with him in his room. She had thought for sure he'd shut her out. From his room. From his mind. Maybe even from his life…since he had abandoned her the week before. Nate coming to rescue her had only complicated all the situations spinning around her even more. But Chuck hadn't shut her out. He was listening. And she had nothing to say.

He stood to his feet.

"It seems you're finding it hard to speak," he concluded after walking towards her. "But if it relieves you in any way, no hard feelings from me, and I'm _using_ Blair anyways. I'm just sorry you had to hear some fake insults on my account to make her believe I was sincere."

He turned away and moved towards his dresser, appearing to be looking for something significant in the top drawer. Serena gaped, hardly comprehending what she had just heard. Of all the possibilities she had concocted in her mind of what might have gone down in Chuck's room…this was the last thing she could have expected.

She turned around towards the doorway and slowly made to pass through it, looking once more at Chuck to see if he would call everything off—everything he had just said—to threaten _her_ instead.

Nothing.

She was about a foot or two down the hallway when she heard him call her name. Her heartbeat quickened and her face felt incredibly hot. She couldn't say anything or even turn around, but she heard every word he said.

"Remember Serena, family comes first."

* * *

A/N: Review! (…and enjoy the episode tonight. ;p)


	12. Bold Move

A/N: Okay, you have no idea how intensely I want NS right now. The sad thing is, I just saw an NV vid the other day and it makes me miss them so much and want them all over again! *cries* What also occurred to me is that in the two separate stories I'm writing right now…I have NV in one and NS in the other. XD I just find that kind of humorous. On with the story! Make sure to review! ;p

* * *

**Ch. 12—Bold Move**

Her eyes narrowed, as she forcefully stuffed the spoonfuls of yogurt down her throat. _How could she have been so stupid?_ Whether it had only been considered from her insult to Blair the day before, or whether Chuck had been playing her all along, Blair didn't know and for the first time in over a month Serena was outwardly worried about her.

Luckily, her minions were clueless, all eating their yogurt neutrally around her, skimming the courtyard for any hot guys, any potential prospects. Nate was the least of her worries. That letter had been swimming in her head for quite some time now, but the idea of Blair thinking she had finally gotten through to Chuck, when he was actually using her for her own personal goals—or perhaps just to insult and demean her—sent her stomach into a whirling vortex of pain and anguish. _How could he do this to her?_

There they sat, him sitting on a table and her sitting on top of him, her legs swung to the side. She was giggly and they looked absolutely adorable. He would kiss her neck and she would stop him from going much farther, but their eyes danced when they looked at each other, and when she finally started talking again, going on and on about whatever was actually going on in Blair Waldorf's life right now…he would look at her in complete adoration. It looked so genuine, and they were _beautiful_. She couldn't believe he was _using_ her.

Serena scoffed, shaking her head at the two.

"What?" Penelope asked, intrigued after nearly ten minutes of silence.

"_Them_," Serena pointed in Chuck and Blair's general direction.

The brunette raised an eyebrow. "Are we destroying Chuck now too?" A small smirk appeared on her face. Serena opened her mouth to say something, but found nothing would slip out between her lips. "After all, not only did he defend Blair against you yesterday, but he denied my very cleverly acted out seduction every time I offered it up to him. That's five times. I mean, I could do it again," she shrugged.

Serena shook her head. "No." Penelope looked at her questioningly.

"I could try again," she offered, smirking. "If he's siding with Blair—"

"He's not!" she snapped, and Penelope quieted herself, looking inquisitively at her queen. Serena sighed, trying her very best to maintain face. "He told me last night…" she gulped, "that he's using her."

Penelope's eyes lit up. "Should we aid him in this malicious act?"

"No," she cleared her throat, forcing her queenly attitude back into place. "He's Chuck Bass," she looked mournfully at him across the way, whilst Blair turned away for a moment. Their eyes met. "He doesn't need our help."

Her eyes flicked away, and she shook her head. Gaining and maintaining queen status was exhausting. Getting drunk every night was not going to encourage the situation. The mean girls didn't want Blair back and so they continued to find her drinking a nonexistent issue, but soon they would, and Serena almost yearned for that day. She missed Blair. And being mean, being queen, was not how she was built. It was a miracle she had lasted this long.

Blair was the bitch with a heart. Serena was just…a heart—a bubbly, blonde bliss. Her queen mask was faltering more by the day. Even the day before when she was insulting Blair, she was losing ground, stuttering far too easily. Sure, Blair had done it too. But she was in a far lesser state, and now that Serena knew Chuck was technically against her too. It only made matters worse. They all held up their masks, all had different intentions, agendas and true feelings were hidden. Besides wanting this all erased and being on good terms with Blair again…Serena didn't know _what_ she wanted or _how_ she had become _this_. She just wanted out.

"Serena."

A light out of her dark thoughts. Her face rose to see Nate Archibald standing before her.

"Nate," she straightened herself. He nodded. "What is it?" she asked. He looked to the girls around her and motioned with his eyes that Serena make them leave. She only blinked. This was school. This wasn't home. Regardless of what she wanted it to be. She couldn't let Penelope be queen…that would be…chaos.

He sighed, pulling a letter from out of his bag. "This is yours," he said, and her eyes widened, recognizing her handwriting instantly. _How had he gotten it?_ "I want to know everything."

Before she could speak, Penelope had snatched the letter out of her hand and was beginning to open it. She panicked, and somehow in the midst of the girls passing the letter amongst themselves, they remembered their place and Serena got hold of the letter again. She stood to her feet and looked only for a moment, stuffing the document into her bag. No one was supposed to know about this. She wrote it and she didn't give—she didn't send it. No one was supposed to know. With one glance to the girls, to Nate, and a glare in Chuck and Blair's direction, she walked away and into the school.

Nate's eyebrows furrowed, trying to come to the conclusion of what had just happened. He had offered up the letter. The minions had stolen it from her after she had taken it from his hands. She had gotten it back, had gotten up and had left for the building behind them. It took them a moment, but the girls all stood to their feet and moved after her not but a few moments following. Nate stood stock still in place, and then turned to Chuck and Blair who were looking at him. They didn't appear to be confused in the least. Maybe it was his imagination, but he swore he saw the hints of a smirk on both of their faces. His forehead creased and he gathered his bag together, tighter, on his shoulder. The two brunettes leaned in to kiss again and Nate walked away.

* * *

She giggled, gripping tight to his hand even after they had entered the limo. He didn't mention it, didn't inform her that they weren't in public and so she didn't need to act like she was in love with him. Because that wasn't part of the plan. But God, did he love that she didn't notice her own instinctive actions now. He hadn't brought up when she had kissed him the day before either. He had figured it was part of her meltdown, and he was more than willing to accommodate. He didn't want to think it actually meant something though, except for gratefulness that he had saved her from that painful verbal battle outside the school doors. In truth, she had saved herself because she had found him herself, had consented to her need for him. He couldn't help thinking it meant something, even if he tried to push those thoughts away. It didn't get past him that Blair was more confident in backing up her position as queen than her relationship with him. She always seemed to blunder, to lose her focus, when Serena insisted on his current or soon to be infidelity. It wasn't fair, even if it was an artificial relationship. It didn't feel like that anymore. They were in public so much, it didn't seem like they were restraining themselves in the least. True, they hadn't had sex or done anything so vulgar as to ruin one's reputation in public, but…he had wanted to. God, he had wanted to. An arm wrapped around her waist, fingers intertwined with her own, kisses—sometimes extremely—on her plump ruby lips. He was losing control. He hadn't slept around with other girls, like she had asked, but he hadn't even thought about it either. All he wanted was her, and he could only hope that by the end of this scam she would come to her senses.

"Did you see her today?"

He smirked at how excited she was, clearly thrilled in how they were getting to her. He nodded, deciding not to mention the conversation he had had with the blonde the night before. Serena may have found the sudden relationship between her (ex) best friend and her step brother ironic at best, but old Serena was still in there and she was growing tired of keeping up the act. Knowing that Blair was in danger of getting her heart broken again would be just the key to taking off the mask completely.

"Yes, I did." She leaned in to kiss him and he forced his shock to go unnoticed. She was so in the zone, so peppy and bright. There wasn't even a hint of the broken girl he had seen the day before. "Mmm," he commented, eyeing her in extremely good taste. "We're definitely getting to her," he said, before she could catch on.

She sighed happily and leaned back against the leather seat. "I know…this was such a good idea. _We_ are brilliant." She smiled at him and he couldn't help but smile back. She was so bubbly and so…at ease. _Was she drunk?_ He wondered.

"Yes, we are," he chuckled, taking the risk of bringing her hand up to his lips to press a soft kiss too. He swore he saw her blush.

Blair turned her face away then, looking out the window. She didn't know what had come over her but she felt incredibly blissful. Clearly Serena's claims to still have Nate as a friend had been faulty. Either that or they were fighting, which made the situation even more accessible to control. But she, herself, felt light as a feather. She hadn't felt this happy since that one week of paradise with Chuck before summer the year before. She tried not to think what happened after that, tried also not to remember that they were in a fake relationship that she guessed was going to end pretty soon. Most of the time she succeeded in pushing these thoughts into the back closed up boxes of her mind. But when she was at home and almost asleep, they flooded her mind. It was the reason she cried herself to sleep most nights. She had always had a natural talent for witty comebacks, but the day before had been pathetic. The mere mention of Chuck playing her stabbed her heart worse than a sharp object or a bullet ever could. The way he had comforted her afterwards…and how she had kissed him, she meant it all, and that's what she was afraid of. She was fake before, with him as well, because if she let herself feel anything again then even as queen she would be devastated when he left her. The briefest of true heartwarming moments she had shared with him before the previous week, she had made herself forget. Now she couldn't forget anything, and she didn't want to. It had been over a week since she had been true with him, since they had successfully been together—evil plan in mind or not—and she reveled in it.

She wouldn't cry until those dark thoughts crowded in around her late in the night. Now was pure bliss. She looked back at him and found he was staring at her, and she let herself believe that maybe he was in love with her. That maybe this was her happy ending. She moved across the seat and climbed on top of him, loving the sound of his breath catching in his throat. The windows were tinted and no one could see, but she didn't care. She cupped her hands around his face and brought her lips to his, kissing him desperately.

"Wait, wait, wait," he pulled away but a moment later, breathless.

"What?" she asked, in agony that he had stopped the demanding need from her mouth.

"We're not in public," he said, and she slinked back a little. _He was right_, she thought. They weren't in public. She saw the almost panic in his eyes though. He wanted her. Right then. Right now. He wasn't just playing around for the sake of her queenship. At least she wouldn't believe it. Not now. Not in this limo. Not with his lips so close.

"Do we have to be?" she asked, and his eyes widened, a million questions racing through his mind. She cocked an eyebrow, waiting for his response but all he could give was a soft, subtle shake of his head. She leaned forward again and captured his lips, a thrill shooting up her spine when he laid his hands on her, grasping at her hips and skimming his hands against the curve of her waist.

She wouldn't tell him again. Not here. Not now. Maybe not ever. But she couldn't pretend anymore. _She loved him._

* * *

"Dan."

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth, he paced his room.

"Dan," she repeated. But he didn't see her. His eyes were glued to the floor and his mind was racing. So, it was true. Serena had still been in love with Nate when he told her he loved her. He didn't have any other proof other than that letter, but his gut feeling told him he didn't need anything else. It was her handwriting and it was so clearly written to Nate Archibald. The contents spilling from the inside made his stomach turn.

He didn't know why he was letting it bother himself so much. She was his _ex_-girlfriend. And nothing had happened between her and Nate. She didn't cheat on him. And it was in the _past_.

"Dan!" He focused in on her face once her stance in front of him forced him to stop moving.

"Vanessa," he panted, though the look on his face was complete confusion that she was in the room to begin with. Even if he had been the one that had called her over.

"You called me," she reminded him. His face eased as the memory came to him.

"Right," he said, relaxing in her soft hold on him. She released her hands from his arms and went back to sit on the bed.

"Then you started to pace." She looked at him in worry. He cracked a grin and began laughing at himself, silencing the noise he created when he turned to look at her again and she was looking quite seriously scared of his reaction. He cleared his throat and walked towards her a bit.

"Serena wrote a love letter to Nate…on the day I told her I loved her last year."

Vanessa's lips parted as she let it all sink in. _She_ wasn't over Nate, and from the mood she had gotten from her best friend, it appeared as though he wasn't over _Serena_. But it wasn't even about that. It wasn't about how they felt now. It was about what happened then. Vanessa swallowed hard and looked up at Dan, who had surprisingly not returned to his prior activity.

"She's not your girlfriend anymore, Dan," she said quietly, sympathetically.

"I know," he sighed, turning away from her and running a hand through his hair. That fact could not have been clearer to him or anyone else. Vanessa watched him as he moved, ready to take whatever hit he would throw at her. "It just makes me feel uneasy," he said, turning back around. "I mean," he gestured, "you're not over _Nate_. How does it make _you_ feel? This letter."

She had expected this. "I think it's a little different for me, Dan."

His eyebrows furrowed and his arms folded across his chest. "How so?"

"Well, I wasn't really dating him that long. There were more complications with us—"

"More complications than basically everyone in Serena's family not thinking I was good enough for her?" he raised his eyebrows.

She smiled a bit. "Point taken." Her lips pursed. "But…this whole Nate & Serena scandal, or whatever you want to call it, never really involved me. I dated him briefly afterwards and then not for the whole summer. If they had really wanted to be together, they could have. He could have not tracked me down at all. But Serena was mourning over _you_, and when summer ended…she was trying to get back with _you_."

He sighed again, nodding. "Yeah…it doesn't make sense to me either."

"Well then, maybe it's false," she suggested.

"It's not false," he shook his head, beginning to pace again. "It's in Serena's handwriting…I saw it myself…"

"Yeah, about that," she said, after having lain down on his bed, "do you usually go snooping through Jenny's things?"

He turned away, pacing the opposite direction, and tossed his arm in the air to dismiss the matter. "Dan," she said, seriously. "I know younger siblings can eaves drop, as suggested from the Chuck, Blair and Nate scandal that you were so generous to grant me details of last year," she cleared her throat, and he winced, feeling a little bad for having brought her into that. No wonder she was hesitant to look at Nate with an ounce of respect when they first met.

"I'm sorry about bringing you into that, V."

"I'm your best friend. It was your duty," she beamed proudly for him, and then giggled, trying to lighten the mood. He let a smile slip out but then straightened back into his serious demeanor.

"No…"

She frowned.

"I don't usually go snooping through her things. In fact, I never do. But I made the exception because…"

"…you were suspicious," she concluded. His eyes shifted to hers, and he nodded.

"And I was right. She had been lying to me."

Vanessa's lips pursed. "That still didn't make it right." He sighed, and came to sit down beside her since she had sat up from the last few statements made. He rubbed at his neck roughly.

"What would you do?" he asked, turning to her. She gaped a little.

"_Me?_"

He waited, not moving an inch except to blink when her silence went on for more than what was expected. She shook her head and found herself staring across at the floor like she had seen him do.

"I'd go to a movie."

His eyebrows furrowed. "What?" _She couldn't be serious._

She turned her gaze back to his frustrated, pained eyes. "A movie," she repeated, then stood to her feet and held out her hand. He looked at it skeptically. "Come on, Dan Humphrey. I'm not over Nate, and you're not over Serena. This letter is suspicious and troubling and I don't blame you for being upset, but you've been thinking about it nonstop since you first discovered it and you need something to take your mind off it for a good hour and a half at least." She was smiling now and he couldn't help but to follow her lead and slip one through as well. He took the hand she offered and followed her out of the room.

"Alright, Abrams, which movie are we going to see tonight?" he asked, his spirits lifting already.

"That's for me to know and you to find out."

He scoffed.

"After all," she turned back at him for an instant, smiling wildly, "I did suggest it."

* * *

A soft knock on the door and his eyes flicked up to hers.

"Serena," his lips parted. Shock was heard in his voice, but he knew she would come. She had texted him that she was coming. And though she wanted to meet at the bar she had frequently spent her nights at, he told her it was better if the location was somewhere else. He didn't want her to be reminded of how down the drain her life had gone. And he wanted her to know that he was there for her, as a friend if nothing else.

So, they met at the library. In a closed study room. The blinds could be shut, and the walls were sound proof. Here they could talk and not be interrupted. The room was guaranteed for an hour solid and there were three other rooms available. Besides the fact that there had to be less than twenty people including the librarians inside the building.

"Come in," he inclined his head when she didn't move past the doorway. Finally she bent her head a bit and closed the door behind her, locking it before taking the seat across from him.

"Thanks for meeting with me," she said weakly. His sympathetic eyes searched for something, some hidden emotion, resting on her face.

"Of course."

She forced a smile and finally looked up at him. "I'm not used to this," she said, "Us," she gestured between them. "It hasn't been _us_ for awhile. I've missed it."

Silence.

Nate stood during the five minutes of quiet that passed between them, and pulled down the blinds, darkening the room. He flipped the light switch and walked back around to his seat, sliding into the table between them. A letter rested on his side.

His eyes flashed to hers but she said nothing, only cleared her throat when the continued silence became unbearable for her. "Nate," she forced out. "I wrote this."

His eyes were pinned to the letter. "_To Nate from Serena_," it said.

"Open it," she whispered. "Read it."

He gulped, watching as her eyes lifted to his and tried hard to keep the tear drops inside. She was begging him to read it, but he wanted to know _why_.

"I wrote it the night I came and talked to you…" her eyes closed and she cursed herself for letting three tears drip down her face. Nate parted his lips, feeling agony at those tears dripping down her face. She was going through so much and he…_was he part of it?_

"Then, I reconsidered," she cleared her throat. "Blair had almost left for France and Dan had told me he loved me."

Nate never moved his eyes from her. His hand reached across the table and took one of hers in its embrace. She let him and she pulled it tighter. He was her lifeline. He was all she had, and she hoped this whole situation wouldn't change that. She didn't want it to change that.

"I loved him," she nodded softly. "I just…couldn't tell him. So many guys came into my life, claiming to love my mother, and to love Eric and me," she sighed, "I just couldn't trust that word. _Love_."

He continued to watch her, his fingers sliding gently across her perfect skin.

"At the end of the day though, I knew I could trust it. Because it was genuine and it was real and I took a risk. I trusted it." Her eyes looked up to his again. They had drifted to the table, to their encased hands. "But that wasn't the only reason I couldn't tell him I loved him at first."

She paused, and he tightened his hold further on her fingers, but now she pulled away. She hadn't wanted to share this. She had wanted to forget. With Dan it was easy to forget, because she had fallen in love with him. But not they were over…for _good_, and as much as she was mourning that, her resistance to the memory was failing her. Blair wasn't there to distract her either. Blair wasn't there period, and it made it all the more harder.

"Read it, Nate," she pushed the letter closer to him again, and he reluctantly looked back to the letter. "I need this to be over with," she gulped, leaning back in her chair.

He breathed uneasily, and took the letter in one of his hands. In his other hand he stole back her run away fingers and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. She hadn't expected it and couldn't pull her hand away in time. She only gulped, trying to ignore the shiver that ran up her spine. And trying to ignore the empty cold that enveloped her when he let go and held the letter in both hands.

'_Dear Nate… _

_ Today Dan told me he loves me. I couldn't respond and with everything that's going on, I didn't know why I couldn't respond. Dan is wonderful. He's everything I could ever ask for, and I know you probably don't want to be hearing this, but I love him. I've come to the conclusion that the reason I couldn't say it was because my mom has had too many husbands and lovers and love just doesn't seem to have a meaning anymore. But there's another reason and I haven't let myself admit it, not even to myself. But a love confession like the one he gave me does mean a lot, and I think it's worth taking a chance. But I haven't forgotten you. I haven't forgotten what happened between us, and as much as I love Blair…I wouldn't take it back and it makes me feel so guilty, because I love you, and that's what I was trying to tell you earlier. I did come back for you. I just didn't want to be forbidden. I love Blair. We're sisters, and sisters come first. Best friends come first. And I had to make things right with her. But I did come back for you too. I just wouldn't let myself believe it, not until today. I just thought you should know._

_ -Serena_

Nate looked up at her. She was still as a stone, and from the slight shake he saw in her fingertips, he knew she was fearing his reaction.

"What good would this have done me?"

She looked up at him. "What?"

"You told me you loved me in this letter. But then you went back to Dan, and essentially recommitted yourself to him."

"I didn't stop being committed to him," she insisted.

He scoffed. "My point is, you would have tormented me with this confession without even giving me the opportunity to take advantage of it? To…have you?"

Her eyes closed. "You were with Blair."

"We had broken up!" he said, frustrated by the age-old fight.

"But that wasn't a justified reason then! Don't you remember? You nearly punched Chuck in the face over the fact! You were broken up and it hadn't mattered, because she was Blair…and you always come back to her."

"No," he denied, "Blair and I are expected, and maybe once upon a time I loved her, but any and every girl I fall for only happen because I see part of you in them. I was falling back for Blair because Chuck erased her insecurities and made her feel and act free and happy and never with a frown on her face. Just like you."

He stood to his feet and headed for the door, dropping the letter in front of her on the table. "If you had told me this…_then_, I would have gone after you."

* * *

A/N: Review! Pretty, pretty please!! *puppy dog eyes*


	13. Just Breathe

A/N: Well, I have finally finished SSS, and believe it or not, this fic is almost over too! *is so proud of self for finally getting around to writing up all these fics XD* Thank-you so SO much for reading and reviewing. It means a lot, and there's a lot of drama still to come, so I hope you will tell me your thoughts! Thanks so much! =D

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**Ch.13—Just Breathe**

The night before with Serena had been anything but easy to sleep after. _She loved him? Did she still? What exactly was going on? _He was just glad it was Saturday and he didn't have to face what all this meant at school. He needed a few days break at least. He just hoped she wouldn't go out and plunge herself in alcohol over those two days, because then of course he'd go after her. Chuck had done his part, and from what it looked like…he was...occupied.

Nate shook his head. _Chuck and Blair. Who would've thought?_ He jogged along his normal route, trying his best to avoid the thoughts swimming through his head. Maybe he could just think about his homework assignments or something with no purpose. Not about Serena or her letter. _And how was Jenny involved with this?_ Sure, Dan knew now, but…well, Nate had only really talked to Jenny about it. Maybe he should just call her and tell her what happened the night before. It was the most they had talked during their entire relationship, and they had practically become each other's confidant—at least on this issue. _Who else could he really discuss this with?_

"Jenny?" She had picked up the phone and answered, but he could hear someone else in the background, and by the familiarity of the voice, he could tell well enough who she was with.

"Nate?" she asked.

"Hey, I was wondering if I could talk with you about…you know…"

Her voice lowered, and he could hear her excusing herself and moving to, he guessed, a more closed off area.

"What is it?" she asked. "I'm kind of…busy, with Eric."

His eyebrows furrowed. "What about it? You didn't tell him about that—"

Silence.

"Jenny!" he gaped.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I had to tell someone who wasn't involved, and it's _Eric_! Come on, he's trustworthy."

He sighed. "Je—"

"Look, honestly Nate, I really can't talk right now. Later though, okay?"

He nodded, unable to even say his goodbyes before the phone clicked and she had hung up. He shook his head, continuing to jog again as he slid the device into his pocket. He didn't even notice at first, but a hand came hard against his chest and stopped him in his jog. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Dan," he said, surprised at the chance meeting. The boy scoffed at him though and Nate's eyes narrowed further, wondering where the sudden anger had come from. Last time they had talked it had been about Serena's letter to him and there had not been nearly as much malice in his eyes, if any at all. Just astonishment. Now there was pure hatred. "What?" he asked, scared for what was coming, because he _knew_ something was coming.

And when it came he hardly had time to react. The Brooklyn boy grabbed hold of the collar of Nate's t-shirt and punched him flat in the face, sending the boy whirling down to his feet and looking up at Dan in pure horror. He was fuming.

"Dan, what the he—"

"You had an affair with my girlfriend," he started walking towards Nate again, but the boy was smart enough to back away, and to _keep_ backing away.

"Dan, man, calm down," he steadied his hands in front of him, hoping the guy in front of him would come to his senses.

"You don't have a girlfriend," he said calmly, but this only made him angrier. He scoffed again.

"Yeah, and whose fault is that?!" He just kept on walking, now speeding up his pace. Nate contemplated turning around and running. He was a jogger and was quite certain Dan couldn't catch up with him, especially with a limo at Nate's disposal, but he stood his ground. Suddenly it had clicked.

_Serena?_

It was the only thing that made sense.

"Dude, you guys broke up last year because of the scandal with Georgina, because you couldn't trust her. I had nothing to do with that!" he insisted, but somehow that only caused another scoff from the Brooklynite, followed by tightened lips and grinding teeth.

"Oh really? Maybe not then, but I read that letter. You were having an affair with her!"

"She was _not_ unfaithful to you, man! You've got to cool off. I didn't even know how she felt until last night, and—"

Dan fumed, and for the life of him Nate could not figure out why. He and Serena had been over for a couple months now, and before that all summer. He had no right to accuse him of something he had not even done. He had cheated on Blair with Serena the year before, but after that he hadn't touched her. They had both moved on, whether with one person or two, and Serena had _never_ cheated.

"You don't even have any proof!" he gaped, and at that Dan stopped walking and turned around, pacing on the dirtied sidewalk. Nate watched him cautiously, could tell that his steps were dramatic and powerfully taken. This had not calmed him down in the least. Finally the words seemed to sink in and his movements stopped. He just stood stock still on that cement block and Nate gulped, his eyebrows still furrowed. The change in moods and the illegitimate accusations he had delivered to him were completely unaccepted, as well as complete lies.

Dan turned to face him and walked towards him a few steps. Nate backed up, holding up his hands as a defense.

"Before you come over here and try to punch me again, just here me out."

He sighed harshly. _Hadn't he heard Nate out enough?_

"What?" his eyes narrowed. He was anything but calm. He clearly wasn't in his right mind. _Was this why Jenny had to get off the phone before? Had she known about Dan's insane behavior and was trying to talk it through with Eric before something drastic happened? _

"She chose _you_."

Dan's face eased a little.

"Last year, when the two of you were together…" he sighed, "she thought she was in love with both of us, but…she chose _you_." He emphasized the fact and the brunette seemed to calm further. But he hadn't calmed completely, and Nate could sense his fists clenching at his sides. He didn't even have to look. Dan Humphrey was pissed, and Nate had nothing to defend himself with but the truth.

"There was no affair, Dan," he pressed.

The boy's face remained unchanged.

"You don't have proof, and you're not going to get any, because it didn't happen. Serena wouldn't cheat on you. She loved you, and…" he swallowed hard, not sure if what he was about to say was the truth, but feeling it would save him nonetheless, "she still does."

* * *

Blair moaned softly, safely tucked away in Chuck's arms. Her breathing was even and her breath was warm against his neck. He lay in his hold of her, completely lost in her beauty and his love for her. She hadn't woken up since their last round of sex the night before in his limo. He was more than relieved when she hadn't run off by the time he was informed of their arrival to _The Palace_. The whole situation was so frighteningly familiar from before, and he really didn't want history to repeat itself, even if it was only from about a month and a half or so earlier.

He had carried her all the way up to his suite. He had softly and quietly slipped the majority of his clothes back on, save his suit jacket, and he had slipped most of her clothes back on to. She still hadn't woken up and he carried her into the elevator on the lobby floor and up to his suite. Her head had laid dormant on his chest and the butterflies inside him had fluttered uncontrollably, were still fluttering. He knew some reasons why she might not suddenly depart. She could be trying to keep her image that they were a 'couple' and that a fight or a sudden flight from his limo would not have made the best impression. She could also simply have not thought of it because of the fact that she was deep in slumber. He definitely took both of these possibilities to heart, but he still chose to focus on the one positive possibility.

She had feelings for him, and they were real—not staged. In the last week she had been real with him, and he knew her better than anyone. He knew she had not been faking—not in public, not in private. He reveled in that beautiful change. He liked that possibility.

Of course he knew she would always lust after him—her 'Back to School' party had proved just that. She was horny and wasn't getting any from Marcus and knew Chuck wouldn't complain. Plus, his effect on her before their stolen kisses in the dark proved to him just how well he could still seduce her. During that first week of them together, he had never seen her happier, and her sudden enthusiasm for her newfound sex life made her all the more desirable. She was quite easily seduced.

He smirked at the thought.

It didn't surprise him in the least that some of her clothes made it to his suite—and stayed there. That was how he was able to strip her of her clothing once they had gotten in. A few of her night dresses were tucked safely away in his closet. And as wonderful as it would have been to sleep next to her naked, he didn't want to get slaughtered when she woke up and discovered they had not only had sex in his limo _again_, but had slept together and were currently nude. It was entirely possible she hadn't been in her right mind when she straddled him and kissed him passionately in that limo, though he hoped it was not. When this was over he wanted their fingers intertwined between them, her standing by his side—not her walking away from him _again_ with nothing more than an appreciative nod. Not after all the trouble he'd gone through for _her_. He had to sacrifice his pride much more than once, and if he was not crazy, madly, head-over-heels in love with the feisty brunette, he would not have even considered the idea of putting his reputation on the line. It hadn't really been an issue too much. He was still notorious and he was still _Chuck Bass_, but with that constant smitten look on his face, it was obvious he was whipped for her, even before he had demanded she be real with him. He had never been fake with her, whether she had recognized it or not.

"Chuck," she yawned, drawling out the word as her hand draping over his waist lifted for a moment and stretched. She blinked up at him and smiled.

He waited though; waited for what she would do, how she would react once she realized where she was and what they had done. After all, sex was not something that would be photographed and sent as a tip to Gossip Girl, not when it was involving a couple that was together—that was practiced in fidelity.

Her eyes glanced across the room and she saw their discarded clothes on the floor. She pouted a little at the fact of their non-nakedness, but decided not to reveal her disappointment to him. Instead, she turned back to face him and pushed herself up towards him with the tips of her toes, kissing him softly on his lips.

He could not contain the grin that spread from ear to ear. The feel of her now running her hand through his hair simply for the feel of it erupted his butterflies into full flutter-mode. If he thought they had been batting their wings rapidly before, he could definitely confirm it now. It was wild and he felt he was going to explode. He leaned forward just a bit and kissed her hard on the mouth. He couldn't find it in himself to wait, and was so happy finally. He couldn't hide his love from her.

"Blair," he breathed when they had finally parted, breathless. He felt the tingles go up her arm and back. Her eyes looked up at his in honest curiosity. There was a hint of lust in her eyes too, which he reveled in, as her gaze briefly drifted to his full lips that were parted in way of wanting more to say.

"What?" she whispered.

_**BZZZ!**_

His eyes closed in frustration, but he reached for the two phones on the end table beside the bed and handed Blair's to her. Both of their eyebrows fused and now Blair was gaping—just a little. There on the screen was a picture of Daniel Humphrey punching Nate Archibald over, what could only be assumed, Serena Van der Woodsen.

**Well, well Upper East Siders, I believe I've seen this scene before. Punching Chuck was obvious, but Nate? What does this social outcast have to be angry about this time? Vicious, if you ask me. And completely gossip-worthy.**

**-XOXO Gossip Girl**

The brunettes' gazes flashed to each other's, thinking one thing.

_Serena._

* * *

The second she got the text, she had no other thought than to gather up her purse and go to the place where the two boys were no doubt fighting over her. She had never thought it would come to this. It was never _supposed_ to come to this. That letter was supposed to remain hidden and unhidden. Somehow someone had found it and brought it out into the open and she wasn't even sure how many people knew about it. _How had Nate even gotten it to begin with?!_

Serena sighed, spotting the two angry and confused boys at the end of the next block and telling her driver to slow down and then stop so she could get out. She was going to get to the bottom of this and seal whatever closure needed to come. She wasn't completely over Dan, but would never be over Nate, and she wouldn't have the two of them fighting over what had or might have happened and what was happening now and what could possibly happen in the future. Everything was so tentative and unsure. When Nate had left her at the library the night before she had hardly known how to react, but she couldn't think about that now. She had to get the two of them a safe distance apart, regardless if it would end up on Gossip Girl, regardless if it would make her even more unsure of who she was and what she wanted.

"Nate! Dan!" she ran up to the two of them in her six-inch heels, letting her thin early fall coat drape around her. "What the hell is going on?!" she nearly screamed, putting herself almost directly between the two. No one was going to get punched or even pushed again. This had to stop.

Dan sighed and turned away from her. Nate avoided her gaze but kept his focus on the demeanor of the boy who had been attacking him. He made no other physical attempts of violence in the time that had passed between them. Neither looked at their phones when everyone else had gotten the vibrating pulse of what had come between them.

"Well?" she asked, drawing out the question.

Nate sighed, still avoiding her gaze. They were far from resolving whatever was or wasn't a love confession or a fight or whatever it was. Neither of them knew. Dan was still turned around, not making a sound, not looking at either of them. He had already yelled out what his problem was to Nate. He was not going to do it again to the source of the problem. He hadn't talked to her in so long, he almost felt it was justified to talk to her, especially after what she had done to him at school. After she had made him feel like an infected, contagious disease. He wasn't just an outcast, he was an outcast with a spot light on him, and yet now he was punching the guy she was probably in love with, probably had been in love with while they were dating and even before. He just couldn't make up his mind, didn't know how he was feeling entirely—what it all meant. But this fighting thing, it was not helping anything and now everyone knew the outcast was causing trouble. Just one more thing to cause him trouble.

"I need some time…to _think_," he emphasized. Nate didn't want to say what was on his mind. He agreed with Dan 100% and he couldn't voice that enough, but if he interceded, if he said exactly that, he would get another blow to the face. His head was already spinning and he had fought hard to keep from touching the bruises on his face that most definitely needed some ice.

Serena wanted to accept what Dan had said, and offer to get Nate something cold for what could only be described as _painful_ on his face. But she couldn't move. She had asked her questions—the questions she had had every right to ask. Now she was just in the midst of tension and she didn't want to be the knife to cut it.

Nate nodded softly, and as probably predicted, Dan spun around. The dark-haired boy zeroed in on Serena this time though, and he walked slowly towards her.

"I just have to know one thing," he said, and her ocean eyes did not move from his face. She swallowed hard and didn't move. Couldn't—_still_.

"What?" she breathed. Suddenly she could not remember what right she had to answer these questions. They weren't dating, none of them were. She and Dan were over. Officially. He couldn't possibly be allowed to be upset about something that might have happened in the past. What was he going to do about it anyways? Refuse to be friends with her? Warn others against her? Ruin her socially? Ha! Who would listen?

And it was that very mockery in her mind that caused her to calm down and listen to him, to keep her lack of self-confidence, to just hear him out and answer his questions.

"Is it true?"

Her eyes searched his. She didn't dare ask him what he was referring to.

"Is the letter true?" he demanded an answer, his voice rising.

She blinked softly, slowly, a tear rolling down her face. And even if it was killing him, which it was, Dan couldn't show that he cared. He needed answers. Confirmation. Maybe then he could move on. Serena was strong. She could bounce back.

But Nate looked at him in disgust, though he could not find it even in himself to come in and take over her. This wasn't how this was supposed to happen—if it was supposed to happen at all. And Dan was out of his mind.

"Yes," she whispered.

"You were in love with Nate, while dating me." The statement rung in his ears painfully, as with the two blondes. This shouldn't be so difficult, or have even really existed.

"But I chose _you_," she almost sobbed. It pained Nate to hear her, even as he stood behind her. He could so visibly see her sad expression behind his closed lids. "I loved _you_!" she insisted.

Dan looked away, shook his head, found it eerily unsettling how similar Serena's words were to Nate's. It was almost as if they were the same, and now he wished he had taken Vanessa's advice and just spent the day with her instead of jumping into some passionate anger-filled action he'd regret later. _What basis did he have to build it off of anyway?_

"Was there an affair?" he forced out. Serena was appalled by the suggestion.

"No! _Never!_ What kind of a—how could you think—?!" she was shaking her head violently. Nate brought his hand up gently and took a quiet, small, insignificant step in her direction. Somehow it calmed her and she breathed in deeply to avoid losing control. This wasn't Queen S. And it wouldn't be—not with matters like this. Even if it _was_ in public.

She just wished she could do the same with Blair. With them it never seemed that easy.

_As if this was easy._

Her thoughts drifted from the brunette and she brought herself back to the current reality. The boys on either side of her and she didn't know what to do. She thought she would fall, and she almost did, but she steadied herself—neither boy noticed her slight falter. She didn't notice it herself, and no one with what was on their minds would have noticed it either.

It was insignificant. A minor detail.

She breathed out, and it seemed to plant her feet more firmly on the ground. They were all quiet though. All that was really heard was her breathing. She had finally wiped away the tear that had dripped down to her chin. Two boys, and she didn't belong to either of them, but somehow they belonged to her…?

She swallowed hard and felt as the small lump traveled down her throat.

_Breathe in. Breathe out._

Nothing else made sense.

* * *

A/N: I hope you…loved it? Lol. XD I know I made Dan seem so crazy and awfully mean about the whole situation, and I kinda hate that I did it because I love him so much. Heh. But it'll all come around in the end. Just you see. ;) Please don't hate him! Review! =D


	14. Dry Water

A/N: Well, I don't know what you all do with your lives, but clearly you don't review. *twitches* Review please! =D

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**Ch.14—Dry Water**

He had walked off by now and she heard when he began talking to Vanessa on his cell. He was out of hearing distance now, had turned the block and it was just her and Nate. She avoided his gaze like the plague, and he did the same in regards to her.

_What was there really to be said anyways?_

The whole fight that had broken out had them all confused beyond reckoning. Dan was out of his mind—Nate and Serena were sure of that. Serena was genuine with the two of them though, regardless of how little she had said in the midst of the thick tension. Her resolve was faltering more and more. The knowledge of Chuck using Blair sent her Queen Bitch mode to a crumbling halt. It was only when Penelope and the rest of the girls stared at her head-on that she realized she had to pull herself together and become the one thing she could never truly be. It was always an act, and though her charms deemed her a good actress, she was in a desperate need for the director to call _cut_.

"Do you know what that was about?" she asked suddenly, her eyes flickering to Nate's. Slowly, hesitantly, he lifted his gaze to hers.

"No," he said, his voice barely audible. It was only by the movement of his lips and the darkness of his eyes that she could tell what he had said. That and she _knew him_. It was _Nate_. He sighed then and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "He just came at me out of nowhere."

She shook her head in disbelief. It wasn't as if she would have seen it coming either. She'd been distant from everybody in what had felt like forever. She didn't know who she was. And everything was popularity. Her sole reason for remaining queen was so Penelope didn't take over, but that fear pounding in her head was beginning to sound extremely fickle. Penelope didn't have a heart, but she had never had the guts to be queen either. Even when Blair was dethroned the year before, Jenny had taken her place. With no leader, it would probably be quite easy for her brunette (ex?) best friend to take her down. Unless she was still wouldn't from Chuck's games…

The blonde sighed, and then blinked, feeling herself weak when she lost herself in these overpowering thoughts. She looked up at Nate again, her eyes having fallen to the ground. He was still there. She was sure he would have left by then. But he hadn't. He always seemed to be there. In fact now he had stepped closer to her. She didn't know if she was imagining it or not, but his arms appeared to be reaching forward—like he wanted to touch her.

She swallowed hard. "Nate," she said. The jolt from his determined actions halted the movement of his arms. He had only wanted to comfort her. She just looked so lost standing there, not knowing what to do, feeling she would fall any second—he knew those were her thoughts. The slight teetering in the midst of the recent tension between all of them was not lost of him. He was just afraid to move, they all were, he thought.

His eyes flashed up to hers, and his lips parted. She didn't speak a word and the only thing that caused so much as a blink was an unexpected car whizzing by.

"What are we doing?" she breathed, and it pained him to see the sadness that was etched so deeply across her face. They weren't doing anything. It wasn't like when they had sex after the Sheppard's wedding, or when they almost met in secret to talk things out at the Bass brunch. They were doing nothing, but he knew what she meant.

He sighed and moved forward a few steps, wrapping her up in his arms. She cried into his shoulder. "I don't know who I am anymore," she sobbed, tear tracks staining the fabric of his shirt. He rubbed her back soothingly and she allowed her arms to wrap around him.

"How did it get so bad?" she sniffled once most of the tears had subsided and she had pulled away to look him in the eyes. But he had no answer for her, and he couldn't even smile—couldn't make the situation somehow better. Blair would have known how to fix it, if she wasn't a part of the problem to begin with.

"You could just hand this whole queen status back to Blair when you get to school on Monday," he offered, his hands still connected to her arms.

Serena shook her head, sniffling again. "It's not that easy."

His eyebrows furrowed, though he really shouldn't have been that surprised. Things between Blair and _anyone_ didn't seem to be easy in any aspect of the word. Early in his relationship with her, things had been remotely smooth, but something told him she had been holding herself back until Chuck set her loose.

"Why not?" he prodded gently, rubbing his fingers along one of her arms.

She chuckled softly. "Because it's _Blair_."

He smirked slightly. _So he had been right_. "Yeah," he sighed.

"She's going to think I'm pitying her, and if I make it that I'm not in front of the other girls then…" she shook her head, biting her bottom lip softly, "well, she just won't take the bait. She has too much pride for that."

Nate raised his eyebrows briefly. "Can't argue there."

A hint of a smile appeared on her tired face and he silently congratulated himself and relaxed a little. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and started walking down the block. He felt her head drop to his shoulder and it comforted him that he had somehow found the true Serena Van der Woodsen in the mess that Chuck had created and both the girls had become victim too.

When the two were almost to the end of the block, Serena stopped. It had been so nice to relax with Nate, to know he was there for her. The only other person she had like this was Eric, and she had been closed off to him for the most part. Everything she had been doing made her feel so out of control, and for the first time in most of her life, it made her feel ugly, insecure, and so very uncomfortable.

"N-Nate…"

He looked to her, his worried eyes searching her face.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I—I—" she stuttered, felt she couldn't stay like this, that it wouldn't fix things, not really. "I have to go," she said, as if coming to the realization right then. She pushed herself out of the hold he still had on her and turned to walk away, in the direction of the parked limo she had come in.

"What? Serena," he called after her, following those first few steps she had taken. But she didn't stop at the sound of his concerned voice like she had every time before. She just kept walking and soon she was running. He called after her—longer, louder—but she didn't stop, and all he could do was sigh in the most frustrated manner when the limo she had slid into drove past him.

* * *

"Nate!"

The boy was just starting to slow down from his jog. He was dripping sweat and almost home, but somehow little Jenny Humphrey had tracked him down. If he could tell anything from what had happened with his encounter with the previous blonde, this was not going to end well and he was going to become very stressed.

Slowly he turned around and forced a small smile for the younger girl that had appeared to be running after him. "Jenny," he said, trying to sound enthused. He folded his arms across his chest, not really caring for the moment that it caused the sweat enveloping every inch of his skin beneath that shirt to increase.

She sighed, catching her breath and then running a hand through her hair. "Look, I just—I saw what happened on Gossip Girl, and I'm so sorry I wasn't there to talk to you earlier. I had no idea Dan was going to do that; I didn't tell him anything else that happened. I didn't think anything else _had_ happen, and—"

Nate placed his hands on her shoulders and she stopped speaking immediately. It almost scared him how fast she could talk and all the expressions that were flying across her face. He immediately felt bad for disregarding her sudden need to talk to him. _The girl felt extremely guilty, and he should have taken that into consideration._

"Jenny. Relax. It was nothing you did. When Dan told me about the letter originally, he wasn't upset at all. Something must have happened last night…or sometime since I last saw him to get him angry. Unless it was you who reminded him of how he lost Serena and how she might love me now and possibly did when they were dating, then—"

"Wait," her eyes crinkled into confusion, "she still loves you?" Concern etched across her face and he knew he had gone into deep. He had fallen through too much, too fast, and regardless of what Jenny Humphrey had been scheming behind everyone's backs, he shouldn't have pulled her along with him in his frustrations.

His lips parted. "I—I don't know," he winced at his own foolishness and looked away. "I don't know anything anymore," he admitted.

Jenny pursed her lips and laid a tentative hand on his arm, dismissing the fact that it was sweaty and that grossed her out a little bit.

"It seems we all don't know anymore," she sighed and removed her hand, wiping it off on the side of her jeans. He turned back to her and offered a small, genuine smile. She walked away a bit and huffed at herself. "I should have never gone snooping in Serena's room." She plopped herself down on the bench that was stationed a few feet across from them.

_What?_

"You went _snooping_ through Serena's stuff?" he scoffed. "It must be a Humphrey trait," he muttered. She did not miss the reference to her brother's snooping in her own room, but decided to move past that. There were more important things to discuss.

"It wasn't a brilliant method, I know, but—" she sighed. She hated the way he was looking at her, like he couldn't even believe they were friends or even known to one another. She wondered if it was much worse than this when Chuck and Blair had 'betrayed' him the year before. She couldn't even imagine _tolerating_ a glare that intense. "I was trying to…" she bit softly on her bottom lip, "I was trying to help Dan and Blair."

Nate's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Serena had not only disowned him but she made him look like a disease to the entire school!"

He sighed, turning his gaze away, nodding.

"And completely ditching her best friend just because some socialite told her it was better to make herself look better than an insecure Blair?"

He remained silent, but did turn his head back to her.

"I had to _do_ something!" she insisted. He walked over and sat beside her on the bench.

"So…you went snooping to get something on Serena, to destroy her." He stated with a sarcastic laugh. This was all too evil and he just wasn't one of that sort. Never had been.

"To set things right!" she almost whined. She didn't want to sound like a big baby, but she _had_ to stress her point. "I love Serena, but this new girl isn't Serena. My end goal was just to make everybody happy again. Dan wouldn't be an outcast, at least not so openly. Blair would be queen again, because let's face it. She pulls off the bitch thing naturally." She chuckled, and he had to smile. "And maybe Serena would be a little down for awhile, but everything would sort its way out once she realized she was back where she belonged. I mean," she shrugged, "When's the last time you saw the _real_ Serena?" She raised her eyebrows.

He sighed, knowing she wouldn't believe the next words slipping out of his mouth. "Twenty minutes ago, to be exact, and last night."

Her lips parted, and her eyebrows narrowed in confusion. "Nate, what are y—"

"I know you don't believe m—"

"No, I do!" her eyes widened. "I just…don't understand how…" her eyes wandered, trying to figure out the meaning behind her words. "I mean, no one else has…so…?"

He smiled a bit at her adorable confusion. "I don't understand it either," he rested his arms on his knees and planted his face in the palm of his hands. He groaned into them and his head snapped up again, staring into the nothingness of empty nature and buildings in the far distance. "She's growing weak."

Jenny frowned. "Weak?" she tilted her head to the side, confused again.

"Weak," he turned to face her, and then leaned back on the bench. She watched his every move. "You're right. This isn't Serena. By some miracle she's taken off the mask around me, but it takes effort to keep putting that mask back up and keep it up. I just don't want something _really_ bad to happen before she takes that mask off for _good_. Only Blair has perfected the attitude of constant change."

She sighed, her legs growing restless, when suddenly she stood and then she walked away. The action completely took him by surprise and he didn't even react till a moment later. It was the second time a blonde walked away from him while they were deep in conversation that day. He figured he should be more skilled in the after actions, but he quite honestly wasn't.

"Jenny?" he asked. It wasn't supposed to be a question, but he couldn't help the confusion seeping through his voice again. She turned around, blinking madly.

"I—I have to go." Her face crumpled into a sad, frustrated mess, and he knew there was more beneath that lie that she was willing to explain, but he let her go. At least that particular action he had become accomplished in.

* * *

She was pacing, had been for awhile, and it was starting to bother him.

"Blair," he said. She turned to face him, but she was still moving.

"What?" she asked.

"Don't you think you're being a little…"

She stopped, her hand shaking now.

"…fidgety?" he raised his eyebrows. Her eyes focused back in on his face after zeroing in on her hand and forcing it to stop moving. She sighed and walked towards him. He was still sitting on the bed, now dressed and she had found some of her clothes in his closet. She let her hands fall into his, let him grasp them gently.

"I think…we have to do something," she looked up at him, so very unsure of her thoughts at that moment. He could tell she was torn, conflicted.

"About Serena," he stated. She nodded but then seemed so very upset that she might be giving in to the one thing she had been fighting so hard for.

"Ugh!" she huffed, turning away and pacing again. He sighed.

"Blair…" he ran a hand through his hair. This was the third time this had happened.

"What?!" she snapped. That was the first time she had snapped at him out of the three.

"Look, calm down," he stood and walked to her. Suddenly everything felt like it was closing in on her and she couldn't handle it. The closer he got to her, the more enveloped by fury and fear she became. She was scared to death of everything that had been happening. And for the first time since the beginning of her whole scheme with Chuck she actually _wanted_ to help Serena. That single act would ruin everything they had been doing. It would be all for nothing. It would be as if the only thing she would have had to do from the beginning would have been to go to her that first night Serena had gone out drinking and work things out.

There would have been no real use for Chuck then, and they would have never gotten to this place. She didn't want to lose what they had and it scared her to death that Chuck was essentially agreeing with the part of her that was screaming at her to act—to help Serena.

"Well then, let's help her," he shrugged. Her eyes flashed to his in a deadly glare and his head reared back, his eyebrows furrowing.

"What?" he asked confused. "Isn't that what you were suggesting?"

She nodded, but he could see her eyes widening in terror and now she was backing away—her pace getting steadily faster. His eyebrows creased further.

"Blair, what's wrong?"

She shook her head, her eyes closing. "Stop!" she said. That breeze of relief came to him after she took a few more steps back and his feet had not moved. She opened her eyes to see the worried, pained face of Chuck Bass staring straight at her. She cleared her throat and resolved her thoughts. She would not go to Serena. She would not ruin everything she had been fighting for. She was not going to just have her queenly title handing back to her out of pity or because she had saved the blonde from another drunken night—had pushed some sense back into her.

_No._

That was not her only fear. The other fear was even more terrifying than the first—than the most obvious one. She was afraid of losing Chuck. It was okay to pretend they were together now, because they were supposed to be…for the game, the scheming manipulation. But when it was over. They would be over. Because she wasn't going back on her demand. He had to say those three magic words. And she knew he wouldn't. She knew it'd be over. All of it was just too much.

"I'm not helping Serena," she declared. And he could sense the sudden bitchiness in her tone, the cover up for her obvious just-seen vulnerability. She wasn't being real with him anymore, and he _knew_ it.

"Blair—" he warned, walking towards her again.

"No," she affirmed. There was no room for questioning. "I'm not friends with her. I can't just go to her aid because she's making an ass of herself."

His eyes narrowed in a different manner now. For a moment he had gaped at her new demeanor, in disbelief that she would go this far—be this cruel. Serena clearly had hit a breaking point—the text must've been killing her, and he had no doubt she probably had an interaction with one of the boys, if not both of them.

"This isn't you," he said.

She scoffed. "And who are you to know who I am?" she raised her eyebrows.

He looked at her, shaking his head in disbelief. "Fine. I'm done."

Her lips parted. "What?" her voice was low…and dangerous.

"I'm out of the deal. I'm done. You've gone too far, Blair. You've back-pedaled too many times." He started walking towards the door, only halting when she called out to him.

"Chuck!"

He spun around, waiting for whatever pathetic excuse she was going to make. He actually heard a hint of despair in her voice and was hoping he had won her back over. He certainly didn't want to leave like this.

"She's your _best_ friend," he said, when her mouth seemed incapable of moving. He didn't wait for her denial of the label he had given Serena in regards to her. "You can't hold this against her forever."

Her mouth smacked shut, and she didn't so much as blink.

"I'm done," he said, now in the doorway. "Oh, and when you leave?" he began again, "Make sure to take all your clothes with you."

Her eyes widened in fear as he shut the door behind him. _Quiet_. Not a slam. Quiet. Soft, still, almost inaudible unless you were waiting for the click of wood on wood and metal. She took a few steps in the direction of the bed and felt her back collide with the wall dividing the room. Her lips were pursed and she did not allow a single tear to fall.

_So, she had lost him after all._

* * *

A/N: Please, PLEASE review! I get so few these days… *sigh*


	15. Anguished Release

A/N: Well, I don't know how it happened, but somehow I found a couple spare hours on Thanksgiving of all days and succumbed to writing. XD Only one more chapter after this one and then an epilogue. Please review! ;p

* * *

**Ch.15—Anguished Release **

A soft knock on the door and Serena finally allowed her eyes to flicker open. After two unsuccessful hours of almost sleep, she figured it probably wouldn't hurt too much to let the _real_ world wallow back in beside her again.

"Jenny," her eyebrows fused in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

She sighed, taking a few tentative steps towards the troubled blonde in bed. "I thought I should…confess some things to you."

Her thoughts left her, and she sat up in her bed. "About?" she prodded. Jenny nodded and walked the rest of the distance to her. Serena gestured to the space on her bed for her to sit, and unsuredly Jenny took the initiative and sat on the edge of the older girl's bed.

"I've been," she gulped, pausing, hardly able to really believe this was happening. In the back of her mind she wondered if she was ever really going to follow through on the threats she had concocted in her head. She had been so sure at the time, but when Nate got involved she began to question the whole thing. As miserable as Blair and Dan appeared, Jenny had gotten in the middle of things before and it hadn't ended well. "…plotting against you," she finished.

Serena was gaping when she looked back up to her, but she managed to recover soon after, and then just looked to Jenny strangely. "Uh…" she cleared her throat, "About what?"

Jenny sighed again. "Well…about you."

Serena's eyebrows furrowed further.

"About this…new you," she clarified and Serena's face smoothed over knowingly.

"Oh."

"Yeah," she began to shake her head, "Look, I know I had no business doing it. I was just…you totally messed with Dan, and Blair is miserable, and, and _Chuck_!"

Serena nodded, cutting her off. "Yes, yes, I know," she glared dangerously in the distance. She knew all too well about _Chuck_.

"So…but I—I've, well, I'm responsible for Nate knowing about the letter. I went snooping and I shouldn't have, and I know it was wrong but you just—"

"Jenny!" she silenced her again. Luckily, the girl was within reaching difference and the older blonde reached forward and clutched hold of her arms. "It's okay."

"What?" Jenny asked, aghast. So much had happened. She should not have gotten involved. Everything was such a mess, more than it had been before, and she almost felt she was the sole cuase for it happening. She just felt so…miserable.

Serena gave her a small smile and released her arms. "I've messed up a lot, and I don't blame you for trying to save your brother's dignity…and _Blair's_," she crinkled her nose at the latter, almost bewildered that Jenny Humphrey would be trying to bring Blair Waldorf back into the status she had practically _lived_, and lived _well_, throughout her entire high school career.

Her lips parted. "I don't understand," she stated simply.

Serena nodded. "I know."

"Th-this isn't the person I've seen every day at school for the past month and a half," she looked at her skeptically, with a deep set confusion.

"I know," she chuckled.

"It—it isn't you. I mean, _this_ is yeah—not that I really know entirely, that well, what the _real_ you is—or may be—or—"

"Jenny," she cut off the rapidly speaking girl in front of her again. "I know," she repeated. "I haven't let myself be the real me in front of much of anybody for the last month and a half, not even myself sometimes."

Jenny blinked. "Then…?"

Serena sighed, leaning back against her pillows. "Honestly? I'm…exhausted."

Jenny smiled sympathetically at her.

"It's not easy being Blair Waldorf," Serena shook her head, chuckling. Jenny tried to laugh along with her but found it quite difficult. She couldn't even really fake it.

"I'm sorry for Dan…for—"

"Jenny," she warned again and the girl snapped her lips shut. "You have got to learn to _slow_ down."

"Sorry," she ducked her head, waiting for Serena to speak.

"The scheming, the manipulations, it's very Blair Waldorf. I'm surprised you decided on it again. I know it was your forte or what not before, but when you stepped down from the fight for queen last year, I figured you were done."

Jenny sighed. "Yeah, I thought I was too. But—and I don't know why I felt the need to defend Blair, I mean…"

Serena nodded in understanding. "I think we've all hit our breaking point." She looked about the room, seeming to look for some sort of answer. Some key solution to the problem they were all facing. Her, Jenny, Dan, Nate, Chuck, Blair. Though, if Chuck was playing Blair, she imagined he wasn't really up against any particular dilemma. And that was what troubled her most. Everyone else—herself included—had been swept up into something that they couldn't control, but he was in a position of power, and she hated it. Especially when it was directed towards her best friend. "Normally, I'd probably be appalled and hurt that you went behind my back, snooped around in my bedroom and almost used the evidence against me."

Jenny gulped. "But Dan and Nate—"

"Well, I'm guessing you guys didn't form a little anti-Serena club and stage the whole fight on the sidewalk…"

She shook her head. "No."

"And you didn't inform them of the letter directly."

"Not Dan."

"But Nate?"

She nodded. "I just…I thought he should know, and I _was_ going to use it…against you." Her head hung in shame again. Serena's eyebrows furrowed again.

"What made you stop?"

"Well," Jenny's eyes searched the walls surrounding Serena's body. This whole conversation was unexpected and certainly not planned. These responses…she was expecting fury, threats. She didn't know the real Serena was on the edge of breaking through again. "I forgot about it actually. I figured you and Blair would just work things out…eventually. Dan was coping, until he found the letter. I guess he rummaged through my room or something. I don't really know how it happened, but Nate also called me in like the middle of the night telling me to forget about whatever scheme I was planning."

Her heart leapt.

"I didn't know how he knew. I just told him about the letter, not that I was really planning anything, but…" she sighed and shook her head. "I suppose people just jump to conclusions, and sometimes the right ones." She chuckled softly, overwhelmed by the situation and wondering what good this would all even do. "Look, I don't know why I came, I just…" she sighed, looking away from the enraptured girl in front of her. She stood to her feet, not noticing how she tried to reach out to her. "Nate said he saw the real you today and last night and I thought well…I just felt bad and like this was somehow all my fault."

"What? Jenny, no," she stood to her feet.

"I should go," she determined. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this all to get…screwed up."

"Jenny—"

But she was already to the door and hardly knowing how it happened. "I'll try to get Dan under control. I know Vanessa's already in the midst of working on it, on settling him down. I'm sure he regrets it terribly."

The door closed and she was gone. Serena felt like she was going to scream. It wasn't Jenny's fault. None of this was. She hadn't acted on anything besides showing the letter to Nate, and he hadn't even read it as far as she could tell. But everything was just too much now. Everything had added up and piled over, falling into her and crushing her into the ground. She could only think of one way to let it all go and lose herself, to end it.

* * *

Three bars later and they still hadn't kicked her out. She was guessing it was because the men there couldn't stop drooling over her. She was drunk she could hardly hear herself think. The music was too loud and the alcohol made her dizzy but she just kept drinking it. It was helping her erase the memories that just wouldn't let go.

Chuck hadn't come and it had been over five hours since she left the unfriendly cold of her room. Nate hadn't come either and she wondered if it had been her imagination when he came to save her earlier in the week, the week before too. She couldn't believe something like that could be imagined and she needed to believe it was real. But she also wanted the forgiveness and saving of Blair to be real. She wanted this last month or so to be gone. She wanted her best friend back. And she wanted her break up with Dan to be a normal break-up. Not one that would end with the obvious social isolation of one and the bitchy transformation of another.

But since these things could _not_ be fixed, and they _were_ actually real or fantasy—and never what she wanted them to be, _needed_ them to be, she had to forget them. It was too painful _living_ in this.

"Fill her 'up," she requested of the bartender, slamming her empty glass on the counter. The man said nothing and just went to fill up her glass. A million things must have been running through his mind and she was sure he had some kind of contempt for her and her demands. But at the same time…she was beautiful.

She had made out with more than a few guys in the dark corners of the crowded rooms, had sent them packing too. Maybe she did want to lose herself, but that didn't have to involve entertaining strange men outside of the building. She had danced, nearly lost her clothes in the intense dancing in the middle of the room. And she supposed that might have been just as bad, with all the foreign bodies she had blindly rubbed up against, but…well, it was all just a mess. She didn't want to leave the building though. That was the only demand she made herself cling to. Besides that, nothing mattered, nobody mattered, _she_ didn't matter and she was well going to prove it by never leaving the premises.

_Just a few more drinks._

She had been telling herself that all night, and she was actually glad she never made herself put a limit to how she could and _would_ drink.

"God," she whined, letting her head drop onto the counter.

"Heard that one before," a man coming to sit beside her said. She couldn't see anything but the cold marble in front of her eyes. Her long waves of blonde strands covered the whole of her head and face, and she didn't want to see anything else.

Her drink had been filled and refilled a few more times since she requested it, but still the man asked if he could buy her a drink and she nodded her head numbly to his question. Her head slowly retreated to its previous position, if only to consume the drink that made her forget. It never made her forget entirely though, and that was precisely why she kept drinking more.

When the man asked her to dance, she didn't say no, and they were practically having sex on the dance floor with the way he was moving up against her and grabbing at her hips and thighs. He was pressed hard up against her and she figured it was only a matter of time before he pushed her up against a wall in the pitch black hallway leading to the restrooms and forced his erection onto her, without a condom no less.

The guys in places like these never brought condoms. _They were never going to see you again anyways, so what did they care if you had a baby?_

She would have never remembered if he had sex with her in that hallway though. It wouldn't matter. He had called her beautiful, exquisite, exotic, and she honestly could've cared less. She felt guys tear her away from him and then it almost seemed a crowd of hungry teens and well into their thirties men pressed their horny selves roughly against her. It could have all very well been her imagination. For all she knew, there could have been girls involved too. She never felt anything, though that didn't necessarily mean anything. She hadn't really felt anything in awhile and it broke her to beyond recognition.

Finally she had her final drink and her final romp—or whatever it was—with the men in that bar and left the building. She had sworn to herself that she would stay there, that she would live out her final hours in that bar, and if not in that bar then another. But she still found herself heading out of the building, breathing in the fresh, dirty air and hailing a cab. She got one almost instantly and she felt nothing of it. Her beauty. Her arrogance? How she stumbled. Whichever it was, she got a cab fast and she only just barely heard when the cab driver mumbled something about where she wanted to go. She gestured lamely into some odd direction she probably didn't want to go. But he caught word of the Brooklyn Bridge and began to drive away. She didn't know what drove her to insist on that place, but it was the only bridge over water she could remember at the moment. And that was what she needed at the moment.

_Water._

An hour or so later, or maybe less than that, she was standing on the edge of the Brooklyn Bridge. She wasn't as nearly close to falling as she thought she might be, but she wanted to be. She didn't want to drown away her sorrows in a bar where no one knew her name and men would take advantage of her at will. Not anymore. She wanted to drown and she wanted it to be all over Gossip Girl. She didn't know if that would make Blair despised as a queen then or if it would just send everyone into a terror. She seemed to be the main target of Gossip Girl after all. Would it just all end if she died? She had to wonder.

But only for a brief moment.

Cars were whizzing by, a few honking when her stumbling nearly sent her back into the street. But she braced herself hard by the spikes on a fence or post guarding the water from the pavement. It was so high she felt, and not nearly high enough. Maybe it wasn't high. She didn't know. Her thoughts were still so muddled and she could hear the music from the bar pounding in her ears, promising not to leave. She could feel how the men had touched her now. She couldn't feel it then but she felt it now, and all of this plus the drama at school.

_How had everything gotten so messed up?_

Her eyes squeezed shut and the tears began to rush out from in between her closed lids. She was shivering and yet a burning heat engulfed her. Her long hair seemed to stick to her and she could hardly breathe. Everything was just too much and she just wanted to end it. It would be the best this way and whether Hell or Heaven, she would be away from _this_. And everything would just be…_better_.

She knew she'd be scared of this if she were sober. If she could feel and think and act clearly, logically, correctly. It was best this way.

_It was best this way….It was best this…It was best…_

She teetered and tottered and was suddenly on the other side of the rail, wishing for someone to save her but hoping desperately that they wouldn't. She could smell the crashing current of the waters no more than twenty feet below her, and felt it was calling to her, begging her to jump into its freezing terror.

_No more Nate. No more Blair. No more Dan. No more anything._

And then…darkness.

* * *

She didn't think he'd meet her. After their last meeting she'd thought he would never even speak to her again, maybe not even think about talking to her, maybe even erase her from his memory completely.

But she had texted him and he had come and now they were just sitting there in the living room, in complete silence. Every time he had hinted at going up to her bedroom to talk in private, she had made up an excuse. No one was home…Dorota was in the midst of cleaning over the past few days…she was redecorating the walls. None really made sense and she figured he could see right through her lies, but it didn't help anything or anybody to admit to these lies, so she said nothing further and so they continue to sit there. In silence.

He sighed, testily. "Well, I don't have all day, Waldorf."

She scoffed. "Really? What else could you possibly have to do?"

"Homework?"

She rolled her eyes. "_Please_."

He leaned forward as his arms pressed onto his knees. "Maybe an apology would make me stay," he smirked, and she swallowed hard. They had been doing pretty well with the witty comments just now, and when he had first come. It was as if nothing had happened and she was just easily irritated at him, but she should've known it wouldn't last.

She stood to her feet and walked away a little. He watched her as she moved, wondering what would come next. He knew she wouldn't apologize, but he also knew she needed him for something and would probably find some way around the apology to get what she wanted. They both were so well skilled in the trade; it was a shock that people didn't mix them up entirely.

"We need to help, Serena," she stated, still looking in the way she had walked to. A blank spot on the wall.

"Well, I haven't heard that one before," he rolled his eyes, leaning back into the couch and crossing his ankle over his knee. She turned around to face him.

"I know what you're thinking, bu—"

"Do you?" he spat, walking towards her. "I don't think you do. You know, I put up with so m—"

"I can't take it anymore!" she shrieked, her eyes watering and avoiding his for awhile. It silenced him immediately and his cocky, angry demeanor faded into an indifferent, almost sympathetic stare. "This is different," she insisted, covering the sobs trying to break their way to the surface. "This isn't about popularity anymore!" Her eyes met his face again and she shoved her cell phone in his face, the screen blaring with a picture of Serena hanging off the Brooklyn Bridge.

Chuck's lips parted as he flicked his eyes back to Blair. He had been shocked when he saw the image initially as well, had been planning on doing something, just not knowing what exactly, and feeling kind of helpless without Blair by his side to dictate his thoughts into action.

"I can't lose her," she whispered, her lips quivering.

_This was the breaking point._

He moved forward to embrace her, but she backed away. They had lost each other not too long ago and she was not willing to throw herself into that blinding path again. She just needed his help to save Serena. Because whether fighting or not, whether claiming to be friends or enemies, they were sisters and if Serena wasn't even in existence Blair would die inside and not even Chuck could bring her back to the surface.

His arms dropped to his sides and he simply nodded, pushing aside the thought to comment on the small rejection. She walked a little ways in a different direction again, pacing ever so slightly. It was so slow it could hardly be called that, but Chuck knew pacing when he saw it. He could also tell she had only stopped when she reached the window to prevent from her trembling knees to give out on her. He just wanted to hold her, to tell her everything would be all right and that if she would just tell him what to do, he would do it, because he knew deep down she knew exactly what they needed to do and she just needed some faith in her by someone else. Someone she could trust. Someone she could, or perhaps already did, care about.

"What do we need to do?"

She turned to him and it killed him to see the tears well up in her eyes. He had meant it when he left her before—every word. He couldn't stand this repetitive cycle she kept going through. Him playing the follow-along puppy dog wasn't helping the situation. He had told her to be real with him and she had, but only for so long. She would be real and then bitch and then real and then bitch again. She could never be herself for long and he was sick of it. He had to leave her on her own until she came to her senses and then of course he would gather her up and never let go. She hadn't been able to decipher reality and thought she could control everything just by changing her outward view of things and the mask in which she chose to wear.

She took some steps towards him.

"We have to find her," she said, sniffling and trying hard to catch her breath. "Then, whatever state she's in…" Her eyes closed and she swallowed hard. "We have to take her to the hospital," she amended, and he nodded.

_This was progress_. And he hoped to God it wasn't just the vulnerable, 'real' part of the cycle she had been spinning in since she and Serena had their fall out. But if that was the case, he would grab hold of it. Because this was Serena and Blair and the brunette he adored was finally recognizing her need and responsibility she had and deep down felt for the blonde.

He closed the distance between them and wiped the tears traveling down her cheeks. He pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at the remaining wetness on his face. The emotional mess that drained her strength now didn't allow her enough persistence to back away, and she inwardly relished into the soft touch he gave her as he patted away at the tears for losing a friend, the tears she had not let herself release since Serena had become queen.

"We're not anything," she told him, having composed herself a little when the elevator doors opened and they stepped inside. "You ended it, remember?"

His lips parted, sorrow etched in his eyes, but he simply nodded at the statement and remembrance of what he had done and said. She nodded too in response, and it killed him to see the added sadness in her puffy, red-eyed face. But now was not the time to deal with _them_. It was Serena and Blair now, and he was not going to let that go.

* * *

A/N: Well, that is all! =D Happy Thanksgiving again! Hopefully the final two pieces to this story will soon be in place. Until then…? Review! ;p I am thankful for all you readers and reviewers out that. Truly a blessing. =)


	16. Right Where You're Supposed to Be

A/N: Updating so soon, Lauren? Yes, I am. Lol. Though, I suppose it isn't really _soon_ soon, taking into consideration my speedy updates over the last few months. Heh. Regardless, this is the last chapter besides the epilogue and I'm just trying to finish it up as quickly as possible. I have lots of big projects and finals in the next two to three weeks and I just can't afford to get sidetracked with writing fanfiction. No doubt I probably will have many one-shot ideas pop into my head during this time, but they'll just have to wait to be written until late December or early on in the New Year. I will definitely be writing a Christmas and a New Year's one-shot, but besides those two, I don't think I'll be writing up much until after that first week in January. It's also going to be a bit hard for me to catch the January GG episodes right away, so please don't give anything away in your reviews, unless I make it pretty clear that I have seen the episode. I really appreciate all of you for reading and reviewing this story, especially since I basically abandoned it for nearly a year after the first five chapters. It seems _Never Again: A Chuck & Blair Story_ has won out on the poll, and so I will be focusing in on _that_ multi-chaptered story come January. Thanks again. You've been great.

*I own nothing.

* * *

**Ch.16—Right Where You're Supposed to Be**

The soft, slow beeping of the heart monitor brought her eyes fluttering open. The first thing she saw was Blair's deeply creased worried face and she wondered if she was actually dreaming.

"B?" she whispered out hoarsely. Blair snapped fast to attention, seeming to be dazed the moment before. Her eyes widened ever so slightly and she patted the blonde's hair down soothingly.

"Hey, S," she sighed wearily, doing little to hide it.

Serena blinked. "What happened?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowing a bit. The thought occurred to her that she should sit up, but she felt so out of touch with herself and was guessing a head rush and slight dizzy feeling might overtake her if she tried to engage in the act.

"You jumped," the brunette swallowed hard as she said it. It had taken her at least a minute and a half to get the words out and even as she did she felt the life sucked out of her. It had been the most horrifying moment in her entire life when she had gotten to the bridge just as her best friend jumped into the crashing waves. Luckily, others seemed to have witnessed it and were doing their very best to reach her in some way. Blair shouted to Chuck to call _911_, but he was no longer behind her and she was forced to dial the number herself. She nearly dropped the device onto the ground when she saw him diving into the water and rescuing the soaked blonde struggling for her life.

Serena's face grew pale as the memory flooded back to her. She had just wanted to _let go_, to _end it_, but once her body hit the frigid waters, all she had wanted to do was go back in time and reconsider that decision. Her dress was getting tangled in the high heels that just would not come off her feet and had somehow managed to stay on during the fall. She had hardly been able to stay afloat and in that moment she feared the death that she was sure was inevitable over all the chaotic drama that was encircling her life and drowning her.

Her eyes snapped to the figure whose hand had dropped down to Blair's shoulder. The girl tensed as he did and Serena could see in her eyes how much Blair wanted to leave. _Maybe she had found out about Chuck's deception_. The thought passed almost immediately once she realized he had been the one to save her.

"Chuck," Serena breathed, watching as his gaze moved from her best friend to _her_ unsteady blue eyes. He nodded briefly.

"Chuck saved you," Blair said, biting the crease in her bottom lip and cupping her hand around Serena's face. She was trembling but Serena made no comment to it. "If he hadn't, I just…I don't know, I…" her voice was breaking and Serena's eyes traveled back to Chuck's hand and how he had squeezed her shoulder gently. Blair visibly eased.

_Things just weren't adding up._

"But," she recovered, wiping away a tear from her face that had begun to fall. "There are other people here for you, besides us." Serena's face remained unchanged. "Eric's here," Blair smiled, and Chuck nodded towards the boy two steps away and he came forward.

"S," the boy said softly, moving towards the bed. Blair moved away in her cushioned chair just a little, so the siblings could reunite. Her other hand was still connected to Serena's though, and she refused to let it go.

"He really only came for me," the brunette said, laughing in the midst of sniffles. The Van der Woodsens turned and smiled to her, but no denial was voiced. Blair had been awfully distraught over everything taking place, more so than everyone combined probably, and it almost felt to Serena that her wish had been granted. That the last month and a half hadn't really happened, and Blair and Chuck had just come to save her from a drunken night gone too far.

"Nate's here too," Chuck interjected, clearing his throat. The two brunettes had slid into the corner of the room, Blair finally letting go of Serena's hand and just watching her every move—to make sure she was 100% okay, that she wasn't going anywhere. Just like she had done all night long. Chuck had stayed nearby as well, and when he wasn't there he was just getting coffee for Blair. Watching his unconscious sister and the love of his life succumbing time and time again to crying fits was more than enough to keep him awake.

Serena's eyes shifted again and he could see the slight anxious joy that came from that knowledge. "I'll send him in," Chuck said, and though it had only been ten minutes, Eric and…eventually Blair followed him out. Serena had pleaded for Blair to stay, but the brunette—barely holding herself together—put her brave face on and insisted that they would be able to talk later and she needed to give the others who had spent the night outside her room time to speak with her.

Dan was also there, but considering the last time Serena had seen him, Blair decided it wouldn't do anyone any good to inform her of things she didn't need to know in that exact moment. The strange appearance of little Jenny Humphrey made her wonder, but she kept the confusion to herself as the visitors stood in line outside the room, waiting for the permission of their long awaited entry. Then, with a whiff of the familiar perfume, Lily's speedy figure made her way into Serena's hospital room.

_Free ticket. Mother. _

_Poor girl._

Blair hardly checked the clock over the next hour, but when she finally realized every visitor had emptied the room—even Lily, once she had noticed Blair's looming figure—she slowly made her way inside, ignoring the heated feel of Chuck Bass's eyes on the back of her head. She hadn't talked to him at any point during those sixty minutes and she was going to force herself to stick to her word. They weren't _anything_. She wouldn't make a scene either though. It was the very reason she hadn't snapped when he placed his hand on her shoulder before. That and the fact that she _needed_ him to touch her, to soothe her in the opening moments of Serena's wake.

"Hey," Blair said softly, taking back to her abandoned chair and the blonde's abandoned hand. "How are you doing?" Serena smiled weakly.

"Better than you, I think."

Her voice sounded better, and Blair guessed it was because of the newly refilled glass of water the nurse had deposited while she had been in the hallway. She was glad for it.

She shook her head. "That would be nice."

Her expression shifted. "Listen, B, about the past month and—"

"Shh," her finger pressed against the blonde's lips. "Not now. You need to rest."

Serena was insistent though and somehow found the strength in her to pull away Blair's hand. "No, B, we need to talk about it now." Blair's eyebrows fused. "Resting is how I got into this _situation_ to begin with."

She watched her, not saying a word.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I know you won't take it without some fight of pride—"

Her lips parted, but Serena raised her hand to inform her she wasn't done, and Blair's mouth snapped shut.

"But, being queen is not for me. It's not something I can keep up with. I just can't be mean for that long," she shook her head, laughing a little, and Blair sported a sad smile. "It's yours. I'll even put on a little play of defeat if that's what you think the girls need to be persuaded."

Blair sighed, shaking her head. "No, that's fine. I'm sorry this all got started to begin with. It really is Chuck's fault," she chuckled and Serena smirked too. "But thank-you," she lifted Serena's hand to her lips and pressed a kiss to it. "I'm sorry I let my number one priority slip."

Serena nodded, her eyes twinkling and the two embraced in a hug. "You two were never really dating, were you?" the blonde asked, and the question took Blair by surprise. She hesitated. "No, we weren't."

"It was just to…mess with me then?"

Blair smirked, laughing in brief quiet spurts. "Yep," she nodded, her eyes dropping sadly to the side of the bed. Serena's suspicions were confirmed. Chuck _hadn't_ been using Blair. It had just been another tactic to get _her_ to give it all up.

_God, they were brilliant._

"Let's never fight again, B," she reached for another hug and Blair easily complied.

"Or _try_ not to at least," the brunette said, and the two girls giggled. Blair sighed softly. "I love you, S."

"I love you too, B," Serena said, a tear traveling down her cheek.

"Don't scare me like that again. _Please_."

The tone in her voice worried the blonde so much that she could not even _think_ about what other answer could be given.

"I promise."

* * *

It had been awhile since she had gone in for the second time since Serena woke up, and he was nearly sweating in anxiety for when that solid white door would open and she would come walking out. She had been through quite a shock and he couldn't even imagine what she might be going through despite his own personal trauma regarding the situation.

But this had to be fixed.

He knew Serena and Blair would be working their issues out behind the closed door and so Blair's earlier vulnerability in her penthouse the day before had been anything but false. She was done running in circles and he knew he could trust her with what she said, without thinking she wouldn't fall back or turn around because of her fears. That didn't mean they were on good terms though, by any means.

"Blair," he said suddenly when the door finally opened and she stepped out. She took one look at him and turned to walk down the hallway, in the opposite direction of any possible vending machine or even the cafeteria. She hadn't glared at him though, hadn't even twitched, and he grabbed onto that thread of hope. That possibility of mending whatever was there now.

"Blair," he said again, finally catching up to her after she had stridden away. Her arm purposefully snapped away from his gripping hand and he forced himself to remain patient. So much was surrounding them, surrounding her and he had no cause to attack her for what she was doing, but still felt the very overwhelming need to get to the bottom of everything that had happened, and what would truly happen after Serena got released from the hospital.

_He didn't want to lose her._

"Blair, stop," he demanded when she hadn't stopped walking. She turned to him now, at a direct standstill and pinned her eyes to his face.

"_What_ Chuck?" she huffed.

He sighed. "You worked things out?"

"With Serena?" she raised her eyebrows. "Yes," she said, not waiting for him to respond. "Though," she began again, her eyes narrowing, "I can't believe you would even bring up an issue as to my being queen or not at a time like this. Serena is—"

"—in critical condition, I know. In case you forgot, I was the one who rescued her from those frigid, ice waters."

Blair nodded, lessening her attack. Maybe she was still mad at him and maybe they wouldn't ever be fixed, but she had to give him the credit he deserved.

"In Brooklyn no less," he spat. He wasn't angry, but she was acting like he hadn't done anything and had only tagged along to be irritating to her.

She sighed. "Yes, I know. I'm sorry. I'm very grateful." She couldn't smile, but she had said it and now her eyes could hardly move up past his neck. A whirl of emotions surrounded her and the dimmed beating heart she lived in was only beginning to mend.

He watched her curiously for the next few minutes and then finally the tension in his shoulders eased. He lifted his fingers up to raise her chin in his hands. Now she was forced to look at him and it surprised her how warmly he looked at her. "How are _you_ holding up?"

She blinked, and stepped away.

"How am I holding up?" she asked, bewildered.

He nodded slowly, wondering where her returning anger had come from.

"Y-you can't just enter back into my life now that I accept what you've done! No matter how wonderful it was and how extremely happy I am that you did it," her eyes twinkled with tears.

"Blair—"

"N—no," she looked away, being unable to look at his concerned face a moment longer. She couldn't believe his lies anymore. Or…maybe they weren't lies but she was only just recovering from everything that had happened with Serena and even his simple, possibly helpful nurturing questions threw her off the edge. "You don't get to do this. I _told_ you. We're not friends. We're not _anything_. And now that everything is okay with me and Serena, I don't need you." She took another step away and finally fixed her eyes on his face, ignoring how he gaped. "You're just the boy that broke my heart, and I don't ever want you to speak to me again."

With one last glance, she turned and walked away from him, this time towards the cafeteria—the vending machines—leading him to believe one thing. She had intentionally walked away from what made sense, knowing he'd follow her and try talk to her and try to figure out what _they_ were, where they stood.

_"Three words, Eight letters. Say it and I'm yours."_

_ Would it have really mattered right then?_

He sighed, looking behind him and coming to the chair that sat solitary against the wall. His whole world had become Blair Waldorf from the moment she gave him butterflies on her almost seventeenth birthday the year before. Every laugh, every smile, every giggle was all her. Everyone he saw he would connect to her somehow, would pull out the Waldorf traits and align them to her. It was time to stop playing games. He wouldn't live without her, and being friends just wouldn't cut it. He was willing to say _it_ now, had only been caught off guard before and had been scared—just like before—of the commitment those three words truly meant. It was more than just getting her back. It was dedication, in for the long haul, and he would have to be a complete ass not to take it seriously.

_"So, you said you loved her…"_

Of course he was in love with her. And it wasn't just a phase or something he would grow out of. The summer had been evidence enough of that. They wouldn't fail if they tried being a couple either. The idea of Chuck and Blair holding hands and going to the movies did occur to him as strange and he figured anyone else would feel the same, but they had done it for the last month and for at least a week and a half of that it had been genuine. He had slipped into the carefree atmosphere that was _them_ and he wasn't going to let that go.

They had been through too much together over the last month, and especially over the last couple days. It was all building from the beginning and how they always came back to each other. Now _she_ was the one that was scared, and she was using Serena's drunken mistake as her cover. He knew the scheme all too well. It takes one to know one after all. And he knew her inside and out.

* * *

It was late afternoon when Dan finally returned home from the hospital. Of course his father was there asking how everything had gone, and Dan gave him the answers he wanted to know. Rufus didn't press him when he wouldn't expand on how his own emotions had been coping. He only saw that glazed look on his son's face and suggested he'd rest. Dan gave him a subtle nod and continued on through the loft.

He knocked briefly on Jenny's bedroom door and didn't so much as wait for a response before walking in. He spotted her lying across her bed reading a book. She didn't move to close her laptop or to put it away when she registered his presence in the room or met her eyes with his. The computer wasn't even on her bed to begin with, wasn't even plugged into the wall. It was tucked away under a small compartment by her dresser and Dan took notice of how abandoned it appeared and _had_ appeared for the last few days.

"Jen," he began, sighing. Her eyes searched his face and almost mourned for his tired appearance. "I need to talk to you." She waited for nothing more and slid a book mark into her book before depositing it onto the floor. She scooted up on her bed and sat Indian style, waiting for her brother to come sit by her.

"I don't think I'm over Serena," he chuckled, mocking himself. Jenny bit her lip, wishing she could aid him in some way. "I don't know why I thought I was…" he looked confusedly into the empty air. "I hadn't been able to get her out of my head all summer and then…well, we couldn't work things out even when we sort of got back together?" he sighed, hanging his head in shame. Though he jumped at the feel of it, he took warmth in the way Jenny's fingers soothed him with long round circles on his back.

"It's only been a couple months, so I really shouldn't be expected to…" he sighed.

"Have you talked with Vanessa yet?"

He shook his head. "Not since the hospital."

Jenny nodded softly. She knew if anyone could bring him out of this it would be Vanessa. After all, it had been her to calm him down from his outrageous attack of Nate to begin with. She wondered where the girl was, and where else she would be if she wasn't there. It seemed she was always there in that loft with either her or Dan, mostly Dan.

"Do you want me to call her?" she offered. Dan's head quirked up and he smiled towards her.

"You're a great sister, you know?"

She smiled a bit, reaching for her phone, but he grabbed a hold of her arm gently before she could reach the device. "I just want to spend some time with my sister."

She nodded, her face falling when she remembered how all of this had gotten started to begin with. "I'm really sorry, Dan…about the letter…"

He shook his head. "Don't be. I went looking for it to begin with. I was suspicious and it was totally uncharacteristic definitely, but I went looking for something in your room that might be the reason for your…strange behavior."

Her lips parted. "But I thought it wasn't out in the open. That you just found it like that." Her eyebrows fused.

He sighed. "Well, after some time I began to believe that's how it happened. I even told Nate the same thing, but no…it was buried under a few shirts in the second drawer of your dresser." He looked down at the blanket on her bad and smoothed his fingers against it.

Jenny released a breath and reached around her brother, holding him tight against her. "I think we both need forgiving now."

Dan nodded against her and clung to the soft form of her body. The two just sat there for a long while, thinking about everything and yet desperately trying to forget. Eventually they found themselves huddled against the wall on Jenny's bed, her head dropped down on his shoulder and his eyes pinned to the decorations on the distant wall.

"What did you tell her?" Jenny asked. "At the hospital."

He sighed. "I told her I was sorry, that it was a huge mistake, and I let something small turn into something big because I couldn't handle how I was feeling." He chuckled then. "I feel like such an idiot now. I must have sounded like one too. I mean, she was in the hospital for trying to kill herself. I just can't help thinking how I might have been part of the reasons she had for doing it."

Jenny was silent beside him, biting her bottom lip softly because of the unsure thoughts that were swimming in her mind. He could have very well been part of it, but she was guessing it more surrounded the events of _Blair_ and _Nate_. Not him.

"She told me I wouldn't be so shunned at school now though," he laughed, "I guess Blair's going to be queen again now and she thinks her best friend won't hold as big a grudge against me since I didn't break up with _her_ and move on almost immediately…even if I didn't. Move on, that is."

"Ah," the blonde said, nodding in a bit of humor. "That's interesting." She chuckled.

"My thoughts exactly," he smirked. "Though I suppose she's probably right," he turned towards her. "I'm just sorry we had to go through all this crap to find some sort of peaceful middle ground."

Jenny looked at him in that same soft sympathetic smile from before and he kissed the top of her head, holding her closer. "If it were just you and me though, Jen, I think we could make it."

She smiled wider. "Well, of course we would, Dan." She nodded curtly and he followed. "We're Humphreys."

He laughed. "And Humphreys don't need Upper East Siders," he concluded with a mocking tone, "Even if we like to borrow them from time to time." Jenny laughed with him now.

"You're such a dork," she rolled her eyes, pushing him away from her. But he grabbed hold of her again and hovered over her kicking figure that was squealing _Dan, stop!_ as he proceeded to tickle her in all of her sensitive places, primarily her tummy.

* * *

A week later and Serena was back in school. She had started attending sessions with a therapist, but since her motivation towards attempted suicide had essentially been based around her problems with her best friend, no real desire to repeat the act remained. Still, her mother insisted on it, and even Eric's sympathetic gazes towards her were sometimes seen by Lily, they were ignored outwardly and Serena still had to go. Teachers were lenient on her though, quite obviously, and seeing Blair everyday obviously helped with the treatment. The two now appeared to be even more inseparable than they had ever been before, and that was definitely progress.

The brunette spotted her across the school courtyard and was about to go to her but the girls surrounding her held her at bay. That would hardly keep her away since she was now their queen again. She hadn't even had to really stage something with Serena either, not that she would have. Apparently there had been constant updates from Gossip Girl about how long Blair had stayed at Serena's side in the hospital and this was enough for Penelope and the rest of them to deem her worthy for queenship again. Though, with Serena stepping down, Blair would've screwed them all over if they hadn't allowed for her returning reign. So, no, the girls did not hold her back. It was the boy walking towards Serena that did. The brunette smiled softly and settled back to her seat, throwing glares at the girls who had appeared to curious as to where she had been about to go off to.

"Nate," Serena started, halting and looking at him curiously.

"Serena," he nodded, "Could we talk?" he asked, gesturing to a table a few feet away. She opened her mouth as she tried to think of something over than the intense beating of her heart.

"Sure," she conceded finally, and followed him to the previously suggested destination.

"How are you doing?" he asked, smoothing his fingers over her soft hands across the table. She glanced down at his ministrations but forced herself to look back up into his face.

"I'm doing better," she said. "I think these psychiatrist appointments are going to come to an soon." His eyebrows furrowed a bit.

"And why would that be?"

She looked at him a little strangely. "Uh…"

"I mean, it's great obviously, I was just wondering why you thought…"

She smiled at him. "Well, because all of the things that made me want to almost…"

He sucked in a breath. "Yeah?"

"Well, they're resolved. Or, nearly so at least." She laughed softly and he found himself completely enamored all over again.

"Everything is good again with Blair then?" he asked.

"Oh definitely," she gestured to where Blair sat amongst her minions in the distance. "Is that not proof enough?"

He laughed. "Yeah, I guess so." His face refocused on hers as she turned back to him. "Serena…"

She swallowed, waiting anxiously for what he was going to say. Her heart pounded in her ears and hardly allowed her to hear her own thoughts. She breathed out his name, but it was only an afterthought in the back of his mind. He hardly knew how to really express himself in that possibly life-changing moment.

"When I had heard that you were in the hospital for trying to commit suicide…"

Her eyes closed and watered at the memory. When they opened, he was looking at her intently.

"I don't think I've been more scared in my entire life."

She sucked in a breath. It was so similar to what Blair had said, and it occurred to her just then that she could not have one or the other. Chuck was an amusement, a tease, and even though she had come to appreciate him as her step-brother, she felt it was _Nate_ and _Blair_ that she could not live without.

"Nate, I'm sorry for scaring you. That was not my intention, and if I could take it back…"

His eyes searched hers desperately.

"…well, I would." She nodded, though deep down wondering if she seriously would take back the action that had scared and scarred so many people she loved. It had reunited everyone and it was only after the fact that people realized how ridiculous they had been by putting up a fight to begin with. Sometimes you don't even remember how much you truly love someone until you almost lose them.

"There's something else," he said, after a moment's silence. "About that letter…"

The air became thick and Serena wondered if she could breathe.

"Do you still…_feel_ like that? In that…way?"

Her head nodded softly, though it seemed a blur and hardly noticeable probably by anyone else. "Yes," she breathed.

He exhaled quietly in a sweeping low breath. His hands enclosed tightly around hers again.

"Serena, I love you."

Her eyes widened.

"I never stopped."

Her lips parted and her breaths left her again.

"And I know you just broke up with Dan, and I have been having complications with Vanessa and that's just all a big mess, so it would take awhile to heal from that of course, but—"

He was cut off by her sweeping soft kiss.

He had waited so long to feel her lips on his again. It had been too long and he felt as if he was discovering her for the first time all over again.

"Nate," she breathed, leaning her forehead against his when they broke away.

"What?"

"I love you too," she whispered, a smile widening across her face at what she felt was the cheesiest line she could voice in response to his love confession. He pressed a kiss to her lips again though, and the thought vanished. "I always have," she murmured, finding herself beside him now instead of across the table. Any separation now just seemed unthinkable.

Her fingers intertwined closely in his and she kissed him again, giggling into his neck when he sunk his hands into her hair. "You are the most beautiful, amazing person I have ever known," he breathed.

She looked up at him in admiration and smiled. "So…" her eyes darted about mischievously, "Should we like _date_ now?" she asked, a pleasant shiver shooting up her spine even at the suggestion. She _knew_ what the answer would be.

He laughed. "Absolutely," he said, mocking his very tone and leaning in for another kiss.

* * *

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," she scoffed, coming into her room about an hour after school and spotting Chuck Bass sprawled out on her bed. He looked up to her, tossing some magazine he had found in her room to the side. Blair watched as the magazine landed lopsided at the base of one of her dressers. Her eyes narrowed in on him. "Leave," she said simply, moving to her vanity to replace one of her headbands with another.

He raised his eyebrows in amusement and climbed off the bed, walking towards her. "I waited for awhile, Blair."

She sighed, looking to the ceiling in wonderment as to what vile thing she had done now to be cursed by Chuck Bass's presence in her bedroom.

"Perhaps I sensed there would be something detestable at home and wanted to avoid it as long as possible," she responded casually, bringing a brush through her hair to take out any possible tangles that had happened upon her nearly perfect head of hair.

He smirked, stopping directly behind her and tucking his hands into his pockets. She rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Bass?"

"You."

She laughed. "Unfortunately that's not on the menu today. Anything else?"

"Tomorrow?" he asked, moving his hand to her shoulders from their previous location on her chair. That was when she snapped.

"Was I not clear? I said to leave," she huffed, standing up from the seat and moving to make a gesturing motion by the door. He sighed and shook his head at her, moving to where she was.

"Oh, you were clear," he agreed.

"Well, then—?" she asked, bewildered.

"I just chose not to listen."

Her eyes narrowed. "Leave," she lowered her voice harshly, stepping towards him.

"No," he said, in the same dangerously low voice. He leaned towards her. She pushed him away, stepping closer to the doorway.

"Why?" she fumed, looking away. He took another step towards her.

"Because you're scared."

She turned towards him, mask threatening to fall. "What?" she asked, her voice quiet and small.

"You're scared," he said, again, "You don't want to hurt again and you think everything that happened between us over the last month was a lie."

"You said—"

"I know what I said, but you don't know what I meant."

She blinked, and he daringly took another few steps towards her.

"I said I was done, because you were running in circles. You would become one thing and then slide out when something went wrong or even when something went right and become something entirely different."

Her lips parted.

"I just needed you to figure things out. You weren't going to do that if I just tagged along and played dress-up."

"So, what? You're back now because…?"

"Because you figured things out, Blair." He closed the final distance between them and she noticed how his expression had suddenly become more intense, like he was preparing for something overwhelming to be said. "I love you."

She gasped, her eyes widening at his words. She turned away from him, a few tears spilling out from behind her now closed lids. Suddenly she felt his arms around her and she found herself not fighting to get out of his embrace. "Blair," he murmured, "I didn't forget."

She sighed, letting the few sobs that had taken over release and quiet down.

"I remembered it every second of every day since you let those words slip out of your mouth before everything that happened."

She turned in his arms and looked into his earnest eyes, a warmth spreading through her when he reached his hand up to wipe the stray tears from her cheeks.

"You had to figure things out though," he cupped her face in his hand. "I wanted this Blair, not the Blair who forgot her best friend and never let herself be real." He sighed. "Blair, I'm sorry. For everything over the summer, and for causing this mess to begin with. _Really_. But, I lied."

Her eyebrows furrowed.

"I could never be done with you."

She smiled a little and let a small laugh trickle through her parted lips. She let herself lean her face closer to his again, and sunk into his lips. He reciprocated immediately and grasped hold of her waist as she strung her fingers through his hair.

She moaned when they parted and placed her hands on his face, as if testing if he were real, if _they_ were real. He nodded slow and soft.

"I love you, Chuck Bass," she smiled wide. "So much."

He smiled wide, his heart swelling in his chest.

"It consumes me," she whispered, drowning in his eyes.

His lips came upon her there and kissed the corner of her lips. She sighed into him and he felt his entire being finally freeing itself from its depressive domain.

"Don't ever leave me again," she sniffled, wrapping her arms tighter around him. He nodded against her.

"I won't," he insisted and she snuggled her head into the crevice of his neck. Her head rippled with the joy she should have felt every day since the Van der Bass wedding. "A whole summer without you and the butterflies just wouldn't stop. You've got all of me, Blair Waldorf."

She smiled, wider than before.

Now she had Serena _and_ Chuck _and_ her status at school.

_Damn, she was good._

She was definitely _Queen Bee for a reason_.

* * *

A/N: Stay tuned for the epilogue! Review! ;p


	17. Epilogue

A/N: And here is the epilogue. Thanks again to all of you who have hung on for so long. Please review, and hopefully you can hang tight with no updates from me for the next three weeks. XD

* * *

**Epilogue—**

A few days later and nothing really had seemed to change in Jenny Humphrey's eyes. It was true that Dan was no longer looked like as an insect, and for that she was grateful. People didn't really notice him period, but that was better than seeing everyone scatter away from him once he was in sight. Somehow things had toned down once Blair was back as queen. Serena had overdone it, she thought. She had been too mean, too bitchy. Blair was just right, and the minions had hardly noticed but they were more comfortable in that fact. After all, one quick glare in Penelope's direction and the girl didn't speak for the next twenty minutes. Serena could've never accomplished that. She smirked at the thought.

"Little J," Is called out to her, and she spun around towards her. She inclined her head to come closer and though slightly annoyed, Jenny gave in to her request.

She raised her eyebrows once she was standing before the lot of them. Blair had run off to some place, saying to be right back. Half the girls came to the conclusion that she had just traipsed off to the bathroom. The other half knew better though. Their Queen Bee had scurried off to the ladies' room for a quick rendezvous with recently—_for real_—acquired boyfriend, Chuck Bass. The girls would have been initially horrified at the thought of the two of them together—goodness knows how many sluts he had screwed over the years. But since the majority thought both Chuck and Blair had been dating for over a month, they had adjusted.

"What?" she asked, further annoyed when nothing had been said by them for the last minute and a half. A few of the girls looked insulted, but they all briefly turned to each other all the same. Penelope parted her lips, looking wickedly at the irritated blonde in front of her.

"We talked with Blair, and she's decided you could be one of us." Her lips quirked up at the statement, as if she expected little Jenny's eyes to widen and her face to explode with smiles and giggles like she probably would have the year before. "If you want," she shrugged.

She shook her head at them though, nearly scoffing. "Well, you can tell _Blair_, that as much as I appreciate the offer, I'm actually _above_ all this." She rolled her eyes, and turned away towards the school building.

"Can she _do_ that?" Hazel's eyebrows furrowed. A girl beside her had gasped, and the rest were all gaping except for Penelope who just looked at Jenny's retreating form like she could burn it to ash.

"I don't know," the girl beside her said breathlessly. "No one _ever_ _has_."

"Well, she's going to wish sh—"

Penelope was cut off by Blair's returning, "Morning, Ladies," she sang, sitting swiftly in the midst of them. A few of them beamed, and others just smiled simply. No one dared to raise their eyebrows at their queen's possibly ridiculous mannerism. "Did anything happen while I was gone?" she turned to each of them, curiously.

They all tried to remember anything within the last twenty minutes that had happened, but the only thing that they spot on couldn't forget was the arrival and departure of Miss Jenny Humphrey.

"No?" Blair asked, coughing loudly so they'd all get out of the dreamland they all appeared to have fallen into. "What's going on?" she asked frustratingly when no one spoke for a few moments more.

Penelope pursed her lips briefly. "Jenny came over here," she offered casually. It was assumed that they had forced her into the act.

"And?" Blair asked, sticking her spoon into the yogurt that had been waiting for her on return.

"She rejected the offer," Is said, expecting smoke to explode from her queen's ears and fire to burn from her eyes.

None of that happened though. Blair didn't so much as drop her yogurt onto the pavement, or her spoon into the freshly opened snack. "Oh, well all right then," she plastered a smile onto her face. "I guess we'll have to find someone else then," she shrugged, "Since we still have one spot left to fill."

The minions glanced at each other in a subtle shock. One of them dared to reach forward and get Blair's attention by placing a hand on her arm. Knowingly by the rest of them, Blair recoiled and narrowed her eyes at the girl. "What?" she fumed.

The girl gulped, and Penelope rolled her eyes, taking over. "Shouldn't we like destroy her or something?"

Blair turned to the brunette speaking. "What for?"

"Well…she declined our invitation," she said like it was cause enough. Blair scoffed.

"And for that we should socially humiliate her?"

"Yeah," Penelope said, again like it was common knowledge.

She rolled her eyes. "Wow, P, your people would revolt immediately at your crowning."

The girl's eyebrows fused.

"No, we're not going to humiliate her in any way, shape, or form," Blair said, "If she doesn't want to be popular, she doesn't have to be. It's a choice. You all _chose_ this, remember?"

Blank stares greeted her. She sighed, suddenly wishing they were all just a bit smarter than they were pretty.

"Regardless, she was plotting against Serena before the _incident_ happened, for _me_. So no, she doesn't have to be in our little click. All of you combined couldn't amount to _half_ of Jenny Humphrey, who by the way will _never_ be called Little J on my account again. _Clear?_"

They all nodded, and Blair resumed eating her yogurt. If any of them had been paying attention they might have come to the conclusion that she needed the young blonde Humphrey in order to regain her queenship to begin with. But she hadn't, and she didn't, but she was still grateful, had even had a little chat with Jenny the day before over all that had happened. Serena told her a few tid bits about what she had said, but nothing major. When the conversation with Jenny was over, Blair could not hold back the swell of pride that she felt for the girl who though she didn't care for popularity anymore, could definitely handle being at its precipice if she wanted to.

"Oh, and Penelope?"

The girl turned her head towards Blair.

"You're on probation," she yawned.

Her eyebrows furrowed. "What for?"

"Attempting to seduce Chuck?"

"But Ser—"

"I don't care whose orders you were following. You should have known I'd come around and tear you to shreds for attempting that," she said cheerily. "Clearly you just underestimated your competition," she stood to her feet and walked out from amongst the group.

"Where are you going, Blair?" one of the girls asked in confusion.

She shrugged. "Bathroom?" she tossed out, and once she was gone the rest of the girls turned to the minion who had been closest to Blair's phone when she got up to leave for the _second_ time during lunch. The girl nodded and they all sighed and shook their heads over what they really should not have needed confirmation for.

_Chuck._

* * *

"Mmm," she moaned into him, giggling a little when his hands crawling up under her skirt made her tickle just a tad. Chuck broke away momentarily and nuzzled his face against hers. She sighed contently. "I love you," she murmured.

He smirked. "I love you too," he nibbled at the base of her neck. When he raised his head she was looking off into the distance and he saw precisely the cutesy duo at which she was staring at. _Nate and Serena._

"Are you jealous?" he asked softly, wondering if had jumped to the assumption too soon. Her face was pure shock and surprise when it turned to look at him.

"What? Of course not!" she nearly laughed.

"It doesn't bring back sore memories?" he asked, concerned.

She sighed and smiled softly at him, shaking her head. "No, Chuck," she said, kissing him again. "It doesn't. Not when I have you." His eyes filled with pure awe and admiration of her. He let her pull his lips to hers again with a tug of his jacket. His lips and tongue and teeth got lost in her mouth and he silently wondered if they were being too loud for still being on the school grounds. He had wanted to head straight to his limo and break loose or maybe even wait until either of their homes was within sight. But Blair said she couldn't wait. Having to wait full class periods was almost unbearable for her, and he couldn't very well say he didn't feel the same.

She wasn't without prim and poise though, at least on the outside. She wasn't going to have sex with him in the middle of the courtyard and he found himself pouting at the rejected suggestion. But her wild curls swirling in his face and her intoxicating natural perfume overwhelming his senses, he was just glad he got this much of her before they left the school grounds.

He groaned when she unintentionally rubbed herself against certain parts of him, promising himself they would spend no more than twenty minutes in the vicinity before zipping off to his limo, even if he had to carry her all the way there.

"Blair," he whispered, hot into her ear. She felt shivers travel up her spine and she sucked the skin on his neck more intensely because of it.

"Mmm?" she mumbled weakly.

His smirk transformed into a smile.

_He was getting to her._

"How am I doing?" he asked, voice low and deep as he squeezed the curve of her hip just a little harder. She gasped when she felt _him_ 'unintentionally' rub against _her_. She swallowed hard.

"With what?" she managed, finding her way back to his lips again, making it hard for his to speak. Especially when her hands tumbled roughly through his full head of hair.

"With this…_boyfriend_ thing," he stated and her head reared back slowly.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"With being a boyfriend, how am I doing?" He almost looked panicked, and Blair bit her bottom lip—only serving to harden him further—at how adorable he looked in this particular state of mind. She smirked and leaned in to kiss him again.

"Perfectly," she whispered, wrapping her legs tighter around his waist and officially sending him into a whirl of almost passion. _That was when he unraveled. Confirmation of success and yet __**another**__ rubbing up against him with her perfect, ivory figure?_

_ Too much._

In one quick move, he swiftly stood up repositioned her to bridal style and scurried out of the courtyard, grateful to his driver for being less than ten feet away from the entrance gates.

"Arthur!" he sighed in relief when the man even opened the back door and closed it behind the two. It was something he usually did do but apparently it didn't occur to him right in that moment and he counted it as an extra blessing. Blair Waldorf hadn't said a single thing, hadn't even squealed when he stood up repositioned her and practically ran out of the courtyard. He almost ran into the gates on his way to the limo that had been close but not nearly close enough for his liking.

No. There hadn't been any real vocal response from her, except from the wiggling about of her body against him—_thankfully, he had lifted her body to above his belt_—and the very skilled acts of her tongue in his mouth. Which _he_ had taught her; that only served to torture him further.

The woman definitely knew how to turn him on.

"Chuck," she said abruptly, once they had passed a few blocks and nearly all of his clothes had been shredded.

"What?" he breathed, nearly hyperventilating. She had suddenly stopped all ministrations of her body against his and he wanted to know what for. She looked a little vulnerable and that worried him but for all he knew it could be something sweet and not worth worrying about.

She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, with no urgency whatsoever. He smoothed his hand through her hair and looked at her lovingly in the eyes. She smiled softly, tucking her hands into _his_ hair as well.

"You're mine," she said simply, like she had discovered it for the first time.

His eyes darkened and he pulled her to him, purposefully rubbing her up against him to get some release during the sudden standstill. Her words had only served to entice him further.

"Damn right I am," he confirmed, murmuring the words in her ear and relishing in the effects it had on her. She was right in every aspect of the words she spoke, and he was more than ready to embrace it rather than sink into the depressive denial that had been and he hoped would never be again.

"No, no," she pushed away a little. His eyebrows furrowed, and she smiled a little at his discouraged response. "I mean," she placed his hand over her heart as the words fluttered back through her mind.

_"You don't belong with Nate. Never have, never will."_

_ "You don't belong with anyone."_

"You _belong_ with _me_," she said slowly, hoping his erection would grow numb for the single second she needed him to focus. A lightness returned to his eyes and he understood.

He had never belonged to anyone before, and had certainly never thought that if he had it would be to Blair Waldorf. But it was, and for that he kissed her like he had never kissed her before. She tried to break free, feeling he still hadn't understood her meaning, but he had, and he placed her hand over his heart in a sign of that.

She smiled at the acceptance and gloried in the returned feelings. She had never felt happier and was now fully prepared and enthused about torturing her in what she would make sure was a long limo drive. She pushed up against him intentionally now and pushed him back on the seat so he couldn't push her off and he couldn't reach the condom and he'd just have to endure her steady rocking motions against him through just a few layers of clothing. _At least for awhile._

She bit her bottom lip again and groaned in the sheer pleasure of it all. When he whimpered it only increased her determination. Chuck Bass belonged to Blair Waldorf_._

_In more ways than one._

* * *

_**FIN.**_

* * *

A/N: So, I got a bit raunchy at the end. XD But I think you got your sweet, fluffy happy ending in the official last chapter. Yes? XD lol. Please review! Thanks for reading! =D (Episode tomorrow! *cheers*)


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